Family #appearances #hurt #abuse #celebrations

As the religious calendar rolls around, family takes on a new significance with the exchange of well wishes and blessings, the sharing of good food and gifts, and the general connectedness that comes from such events. What was once an obligatory exchange of well wishes, has become a time of exchanging blessings and generally giving thanks with the ones that count.  

No longer am I tied to my past, where I wished everyone including the neighbours cat a happy blessing for the season.  I have finally believed enough in myself to bestow my blessings on a selected few. I have always believed that it is not only right to send such wishes on special occasions, but it gave a genuine connection to those with whom I shared my blessings. However, I have realised at last that the responses were mostly those of obligation to reply.  The indifference to my wishes and the obligation to reply are the same as the shop assistant saying, 'Have a nice day!' requires the appropriate response of,  'And to you also!' This is despite his indifference at his counter, despite how he queried the article in question and called for price check that must have had to be sourced from the country of origin! And, now I am late for an appointment. 

I have come to realise that my wishes and blessings of the season were replied to only by obligation. There was no meaning nor sensitivity to the replies, it was simply a matter of, lets reply and get this over with! The next season is just around the corner and I must do this before the next text rolls in. I know everyone is time poor with a busy lifestyle but, these holidays and celebrations, give us that little bit of time to take stock and remember those who have helped us, and are dear to us, on the pathway of life.

This year I have celebrated in a more low key fashion. I have actually shared it with people that are dear and near to me. My celebration was not tied to elder clansmen and women's desires for things to be done their way or not at all. My celebration was one of hope, that there is indeed that of life after death, new beginnings and a tangible happiness that comes from this.That there is hope for a better future, hope for a world of peace and hope that we will see equality for all by the time I finally close my eyes to begin that other journey.  This is the finally the celebration that I truly wanted and this year has seen the first of those dreams and aspirations to start in full.  This is on my bucket list and I want to achieve that.

I wished to spend my time with people who equally respected me and I celebrated this occasion (Easter) without fear without condemnation for simply being me.  It was relaxed, emotions were stable and all enjoyed each other's company and no remorse as to why we celebrated in the first place. There were no hidden agendas - only agendas of like minded people celebrating life after death. 

To those who fear these occasions, I beg for you to begin your next celebration as that - a celebration of renewal, a celebration of life.  A celebration of love, not one that you must peer over your shoulder to wonder what the actual agenda is and who may stab you. 

Think positively - the world is a much better place without the negativity of those who have no feeling but for themselves.  The world needs positivity that creates peace and harmony - not a world of derision.  Only then can these days of celebration be visionary to a world of peace for which we celebrate. 

Take care till next time

Bitchescoz!

EMail: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Media Assassins #ridicule #bullying #damage

Driving home this afternoon I was listening to, and usually enjoy a program hosted by 3 of my favourite broadcasters. That was until this afternoon! The trio are witty, amusing, entertaining  and have a great following and therein lies the reason for my writings and my decision not to follow again.

The topic for discussion this afternoon was 'Would you take your father out on the town?' Ageist? Yes, but this was balanced by the feedback that was phoned in.  So, I will let that ride for now. However, the preamble that took place prior to the talkback, was of enough for me to pull my car to the curb and listen as to just how far these guys would go. Or in fact, would they remedy the comments they made.

The preamble was about a celebrity father who was spotted in a Mexican themed night club.  The guy was recently reported in the tabloids as having undergone chondrolaryngoplasty or in laymen terms, a 'tracheal shave'.  Some of us may feel a little shy being seen out with a father of this age.  Though, I might add, if my Dad was to join me, I would feel rather privileged that he wanted to hang out with me. But no, the trio not only stuck it to him for his age and being spotted giving support to his son, but they stuck it to him and repeatedly referred to him as, 'He makes a very handsome woman!' Therein begins my anger! 

In a world, where the great Bob Dylan wrote 'Times they are a-changin!' I had thought that presenters of such programs would have enough empathy, enough compassion, and enough spirit of good will, for people who are fighting for their right to be recognized as equal in this world.

Who are these people who feel they have the right to make their fun at somebody else's expense. I would have thought radio stations would have learned their lesson with the Kate and William debacle! But no, the vulnerable are fair game for ridicule and sniggering, so long as the program rolls on and the ratings soar. Recently, quite rightly, there was a huge outpouring of anger and grief when the media lost one of their own due to online bullying and abuse. What is the difference between on-air public ridicule and online ridicule? I can hear you say that the online conversation was vitriolic abuse but, on-air ridicule is as every bit as damaging. As such, it is time this talk show ridicule was dumped along with those who peddle it.

I feel that as part of  the LGBTI community we continue to pave the way for recognition, acceptance and equal rights. We have emerged as human beings who have as much to offer as any other person on this earth.  We have strived to be recognized for our excellence in our work, our homes and our community.  None of us have walked in the other person's shoes, so how dare we publicly ridicule, and humiliate for the sake of ratings.  If in fact, this guy is undergoing a sex reassignment, let us support him, let us give him strength to face his decisions. Let us support his family that he feels comfortable to be seen with, at Mexican themed bars.

In this world that is ever changing let us not make a mockery of someone who is just trying to be themselves.  Let's stand alongside them show them love, caring and compassion.

Did the trio redeem themselves? No. sadly they did not. So, I am left to assume that they think their behaviour is perfectly fine, that it is ok to publicly ridicule and humiliate someone. Well, they can have their program, but I for one will no longer listen.

                                                  "For the wheel's still in spin, 
                                                   And there's no tellin who, 
                                                   That it's namin' for the loser now, 
                                                   Will be later to win, 
                                                   For the times they are a-changin!" 
                                                                    
                                                                   Bob Dylan