Nothing's Gonna Harm You #love #samesexmarriage #lgbti

You know, loving someone to me, is as individual as your personal view of the sunset or the rising sun.  We look at something, and others see a totally different slant, than we do.  Not one of our views is incorrect, as it comes from within.

Views on loving someone is as individual as our DNA. So how can love be compartmentalized? How can any love be wrong?  How can a love between two consenting adults be discouraged?  How can churches dictate how not to love, when their whole philosophy (apparently) is based on love?  Why does politics, stick its ugly head in there and follow churches, when you only have to look at Parliamentary sittings and know there is not a lot of love happening in our houses of government. Surely if church philosophy governs governments, then they should cast out politicians daily for their lack of love and support for each other. 

When a mother loves a child, does she not see that her child is the most glorious, beautiful creature. No matter how others see that child, that love is as individual as that sunrise viewed by millions.  But her love does not lesson as the sun sets on that child's years.  The same can be said for the love that most of us feel for our partners.  Admittedly, the love is not of blood, but our love for that person is as unique as our fingerprints.

Is this love based on sex, I don't think so.  Yes it does play a part as an expression of that love, but for most of us I guess, as the sun goes down on our years and we just sit, and hold the hand of the one we love, sex will not play a big part.  The big part will be the constancy, the impact of the sharing of ourselves for the long haul.  The reflectiveness, the joy, that our  love has brought to our lives.

Over the years inter-racial unions have formed, and luckily for most, seeing people of different colours walking hand in hand has been exorcised from the bigoted minds. (Which was brought on mainly by religions I feel.)  For most of us we don't even look at the colour. What we do look at however is the love that is present in that union, that joy and respect for each other.  I personally cannot see the problem with unions of any kind.  Yes, you may say because I am gay is why I feel that same sex unions should be accepted without discrimination.  Not so! It is because I believe we have the fundamental right to choose who we wish to spend our lives with, and no one, should be frowned upon because of that love.  We are consenting adults with our own minds and hearts.

Personally I feel if you are not harming anyone else then your love should be accepted, encouraged and respected.  No Church, no government, should have the right to change our hearts and God given makeup.  Not once do we see churches or governments frown upon the union of a man or a woman who is unionized, so to speak, with someone much younger than themselves.  For most, they simply say, 'Good on them!' and not give it a second thought.  Never once do we see the church frown on the union of a man and a woman who are past procreational years.  However, procreation is one of the platforms they stand on, to exempt same sex marriages. What does the actual, physical, sexual act have anything to do with people who have chosen to stay pure, which again, is their their right.

We also see churches refuse membership to those who have divorced without the written annulment of their marriage vows.  I just want to know how the church proclaims an annulment between a member of the clergy who is married to the Son of God etc.  I sure as hell would not be saying that one of those parties has fallen out of love with the other, hence giving them approval to move on and take the sacraments.  No, my signature would not be going on that piece of parchment, that's for sure! 

Moving on, I believe that each of us has the right to love and be in love with whoever we wish.  In my childlike mind I just pray that the world will move faster on equality of love.  I want each and every one in the world to be able to love who they want without judgement. Like the mother looking into the crib of her child, look in our partner's eyes and make the same vow as the mother makes to her child, 'Nothings gonna Harm you! Not while I'm around'.

These are  my thoughts,

Cheers!

Bitchescoz   

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Not While I'm Around - Barbra Streisand

Being Alive! #love #caring #insecurities #alive

With iPad and mug of hot chocolate, I followed the sun for the morning warmth in my courtyard among my flowers and visiting birds.  I was ready to write my thank-you notes to those who emailed me on my last article, 'You've got a Friend'. Suddenly into my solitude, burst the sounds of a young re-incarnated Elaine Stritch or very alive Bernadette Peters belting out 'Let it go' from the musical "Frozen".  This young 4 year old neighbour has the voice of an angel and the lungs of all the divas combined.  

I sat and  drank my chocolate and just listened to the lyrics of wisdom proffered by this little diva. By now, most of you will have realized that music really floats my boat.  It makes me feel alive, and the lyrics and uplifting of this song with its heart felt words made me think of Sondheim's 'Being Alive'. And there in my head was an ensemble of Patti Lu Pone, Barbra Streisand, Bernadette Peters, and Sondheim himself on keyboard. What a performance was going on in my head!  Not to mention, I too, was up there on stage offering my dulcet tones to the mix.  

Coming off stage with the greats, my thoughts of thank-you notes passed and, I just wanted to share that if we all took those words into our everyday lives, as I feel the master writer himself intended, we could make a real difference.  If we opened our hearts and and minds to those around us, gave a little of ourselves, all of our lives would be indeed blessed.  

It just means giving a little to those around us - reaching out and making a difference.  Every gentle touch builds to a worldwide hug. A hug that this world really needs right now. Not one person really needs to go it alone. All it takes is a nod of assurance, a gentle smile, a warm hello.  Each and everyone of us, has the capability to do at least one of these things.  God knows, with each and everyone of us turning to our neighbour, and giving a warm hello and an encouraging glance, it may stop the cycle of war and injustice.  

Let's all try to be a cycle breaker, lets show our friends, our families and our new found friends that we are as insecure as they are. That we too need someone to be close to. Someone to share with, someone to give, someone to mock us with praise and someone to love.   

Let's break this self fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom and fill it with hope.  Let's fill it with a song of joy, a song of freedom, a song of equality.  Let's join my little neighbour in her song of 'Let it Go' and let go of the prejudices, the anger and loneliness.

Join me on stage with my ensemble! Declare that we want to be crowded with love, love that comes through caring! Know that there is someone to help us shed our insecurities and not to be frightened any more. Help us survive and give us hope that we are truly  'Being Alive'.

These are my thoughts.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com 

Being Alive - Bernadette Peters

Don't Let the Sun go Down! #anger #relationships #repair #acceptance

There is an old saying that we shouldn't let the sun go down on an argument.  We all have arguments, misunderstandings, differences of opinion and that is natural. I personally believe that it is probably one of the best bits of advice I have ever received in my life. This doesn't  mean I follow that advice all the time but, without paying attention to  life's wounds they can become very infected. The longer we leave a wound unattended the worse it can become.

I know that sometimes, it is good to give each other some space in some situations. But, I know from being gay and human, I tend to sometimes dramatize and build my emotions to such an extent that quite often it becomes more difficult to heal it. Thus, making both parties less approachable, more aloof, and more easily hurt than they were prior to the first cut.

The first cut is often described as the deepest! So having said that, if we really want to heal the rift, we must act quickly to remedy the cause for the abrasive reaction. Clinically speaking, we must stand back for a second, assess the extent of the damage, then prepare the wound by cleansing the surface. Then, perging deeper to give that painful incision less bias, and indeed, healing.

I know from my experience, if  someone has offended me and I just stop and walk away, I become more angry, less open to discussion than initially. If they do not try to remedy the situation, this gay boy tends to stew! I let myself bottle up to the point that when I explode, God help anyone within 1,000 kilometres. I know I am not the only one. This is not only a gay thing either. It is like the aforesaid cut, when infected, without attention becoming more infected and finally becoming gangrenous.

None of us wants a situation to get out of hand. But, quite often none of us want to get to the blood and guts of the matter either.  If we value, and want, that relationship, we must realize that not everyone has the same opinion as us. We must realize that everyone has, and is entitled to, their own. That is the reason why we are the fabric of life. We are part of the overall pattern, texture and colour that makes the quilt of beauty of a human landscape.

All I am saying is, yes we have tiffs, but don't let it get out of hand.  Relationships are too precious to lose. over something that sometimes only needs a band-aid treatment.

Fix the pain, heal the wound, cause 'losin everything is like the sun going down on me"

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Procrastination #patience #tolerance #love #ambition

How to cope with Procrastination! 

Today, I want to talk about coping with procrastination.  You know, I  get anxious just spelling it, cause it takes to long. And, from that remark you might be aware I am not, dare I spell it again, the procrastinator.  I seem to be surrounded with them.  My partner, my bestie and quite a few others exist in my inner circle.  Mind you, sometimes, I feel that I am a catalyst for their behaviour. That they somehow take pleasure in making this 'want it now', dreamer' Aquarian wait, and sweat out their decisions.

I swear, at University, I must have been dreaming in a magazine when they spoke of Myers Briggs type indicators, and how we are attracted.  I think I must have been dreaming that whole semester because I am surrounded by them! Surely if I  had paid attention, I might have avoided the penance that I have had, for such a long time now.  I love to jump out of bed and run headlong into things! And yes, I have made some very silly mistakes along the way, from not meditating upon the mysteries as to how, and why, I should do something.

Yes, it frustrates me that people aren't as quick to scathe the pinnacles of life that I attempt.  But yes, I surrender, it is also assuring that before I climb my mount, someone is there, contemplating, planning, thinking clearly. Despite me ready to fly without my fairy wings attached, they are there navigating the conditions, and checking work place health and safety regulations, before we attempt our course of action.

Yes I long for them to just scream the adage of Nike 'Just Do It!'  But I must sometimes realize that these people are put on earth for a purpose and, not to just sit back and watch others fall, or fail, miserably.  These people are designed by God to drive people like me crazy.  No not so.  God put these forward and deep thinkers on Earth to plan for a future, a future that is secure, a future that is not based on instinct and dreams alone. Yes, I am sure these people engineered the journeys into space, designed the tallest buildings so they would not topple, research the possibilities of curing the common cold (no wonder its taking  so long).   These people are organizers, implementers and visionaries.

Yes these people do infuriate people like me, but without them I would be a covered with bruises and have skinned knees.  Coping with them?  We just have to draw breath,  think a little before we leap, take their feelings, and thoughts, into consideration.  They must have a valid point.  We are created equal after all and I must give them time to get used to my scatter brain, 'seat of the pants' way of life.
So thinking these thoughts, I cope with any slow thoughts those around me have.  I thank our maker that this world is full of individuals. This world is full of people who care, who think, who do things different from each other but together, we can achieve goals, build dreams and create a wonderful future.

Together we form a magical woven cloth that when milled together can make a glorious world.

Now Honey, can you just make up your mind on our new refrigerator or our perishables will be lost.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
 

Call Me! #manners #communication #phone

How easy is it to pick up your phone and text, leave a message on someones message bank, to give others the knowledge and security that you are ok.  

Yes, we all get busy! But, being busy is a poor excuse not to just text those close to you and let them know that you are alright. After all we live in the age of instant communication and it has never been so easy to keep in touch. Don't let loved ones think, and stew, that you are not answering calls because you have been hit by a bus or something. And they in turn must learn to do the same for you.  
Not all of us have logical minds and just say, 'Oh they're ok. They are just busy!' The old adage of 'bad news travels fast' does not sit well with some of us and our overactive minds need to be set at rest so we can go about business as usual.  

As Blondie sang - 'Call Me' - any day and any time!  With silent modes on phones, a message need not disturb and it can be picked up when they are free! Then, if they too are a bit of a worry wart, they will be assured all is well in your neck of the woods.

How many times have I heard mother's crying they were worried about their kids not calling?  How many times have partners been worried that their better half has been involved in a car accident? All you need is a short text, 'Held up, be home soon!'  That is all it takes! 

Simple! I know and I have been guilty of not picking up the phone and doing the same to my nearest and dearest. It soothes their minds and they don't need to wonder what they are going to wear to the funeral. Should I arrange the flowers? Should I get in more food for the mourning visitors? These thoughts go through our minds because we care, not because we are morbid. We just care enough to feel deeply worried and concerned for their wellbeing. Sounds dramatic I know, but anxiety does strange things to even the calmest of people.

I travel quite a lot and I try to let my closest know I have arrived, am going sightseeing now or will be in a meeting for a while so they don't worry. I drop in the time zone too so they may be aware that my sleeping time is different to theirs.

counseling.ucr.edu

To the kids out there, let your folks know that your held up at the mall with your friends. It puts their minds at rest that you are safe. Texts are cheap and let's face it, a few words of - 'K! Just having a bit more time!' - can prevent a long face and having to face the tongue lashing when you get home. This applies to the big kids too. Sure beats the hell out of being confronted with divorce proceedings when you finally drive into the garage.  

It all comes down to respect, (no I won't go on with another song title) and caring for those around us.  It is not all about 'me'.  We must consider that others have feelings, thoughts and concerns for their  loved ones.  

Take a few seconds out of your time and communicate.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

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Gay Male or Mere Male???? #gay #domesticgoddess #helpinghand

Today I am asking, 'Are some of the ridiculously dumb things we do inherent because we are gay,  because we are male, or are they not particularly gender related and just plain silly?'

In the advent of friends and relations dropping in this week due to a family gathering for a celebration of a life well lived, my dear partner decided to get out of the kitchen for a while.  And, assume my position as vacuum maid.

He was doing really well for someone without the experience I possess.  Despite the subtle hints of 'Did you move the couch?'  'Did you dust before you did the floor?'  'Don't bump our treasures on the stairs!'  He had seemed to have acquired my skills simply through observation, and I was impressed!  Especially impressed that he did not back chat me with my questions.  Having seen his mastering of such a riveting and very prestigious position in the House of Lords, I was contemplating upping his rank to Domestic Welfare Minister.

This all took a very sour turn for the worse!  Again, I was so impressed that he passed me with the dust canister to dispose of the sins of a few days grime to the refuse. That he cleaned the filter - I had not even known he had observed that skill ever!   This is when I walked to the garden to see my beloved, hosing the life out of my trusted steed named Hoover.  Before I could say 'What the?' he had immersed motor and all in a bucket, and was cleaning madly to make it look brand spanking new. You see, I have learned that yelling is of no consequence to a deaf man, and worse, when he removes his cochlear when playing in water.  However he has learned the facial expressions of the Ice Queen, and immediately looked me in the eye for a compliment of how great of a job he had done.  He knows that if he plays the innocent hand, he may win the trick.

So after a few 'How could you?  'Why did you?'  'Whenever did you see me do?' You figure as you throw trusted hoover in the bin, and you explain the consequences of water and electricity, that sometimes explanations and  job descriptions should be initiated before you hand the reins over.

Are these things avoidable?  Are they a gay thing?  Are they merely a male thing where we assume we know everything?

In my venting to my best friend of today's occurrences, she reminded me of my romantic night where I lit candles too close to an electrical cable.  She reminded me of the time when a cyclone was approaching with huge force. She had said, 'Immerse some of your outside stuff that could take flight into the pool.'  I did of course, do what she had advised! But did she explain to me what stuff?  No!!!! She assumed I knew what went in and what did not! Not once did she believe I would submerge the BBQ and my potted plants.  Of which, the BBQ and the plants died a death owing to it being a salt water pool.  Rust and a salt bath do not bring joy to foliage nor wrought iron, nor I may add to my pool man's face when he rocks up on his weekly visit to clean the pool.

No, I don't believe it is just a gay or male thing.  Come on fess up!  We all do silly things from time to time.  It is not a male nor gay thing.  It is not a female thing.  It is not a thing of children.

It is that, we often take others for granted, that they have followed our lead.  It is that, often we don't ask the experienced of what to do next.  It is often that children do what their parents have done in the past and not realized the times, nor the situation, that they were in at the time. For example the child grows up, sets up house, invites the parents over for dinner.  The mother sees the child prepare the lamb roast.  Having watched the mother for years the new adult cuts the hock from the lamb throws it out to the dog.  The mother onlooking, says to the child, 'Why did you cut off the hock and throw to the dog? It is the best meat.'  The child turns to the mother and says, 'I have watched you do that all my life, so I did what you did.'  The mother replied. 'I only did that because my baking dish was to small to fit it all in!'

This is where, none of us, do silly things because of a gender nor age.  We simply do it, because we lack the knowledge.  We don't ask questions.  We assume too much.  We don't open ourselves, to show others, that we need support.  We don't take time to explain fully to others that are learning.  Put simply, we need to communicate! 

Therefore we all must learn to communicate, offer help, accept constructive advice, and return it with a thank-you, you saved my life.

Now we are off to the electrical store to purchase a water-proof vacuum cleaner.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

techno.com.my

Rainy Days and Mondays #ambition #drive #foundations #dreams

Anyone for a ride?

It seems as if it was in the dark ages now, but Richard Carpenter wrote 'Rainy Days and Mondays'.  Today with the rain, and things not happening at the rate that this impatient Aquarian likes, it was one of those days indeed.

Rain bucketing, and fueling my already morbid and miserable day, I decided not to let this weather coax me into a state of impatience and negative thoughts. So, I decided to forge my way, gung-ho into a positive plan.

This plan of action, quite honestly, can be a tad annoying for those around me as I channel my negatives, to an irritating (ok bloody annoying) attempt to achieve my life time goals in one day.  I research, I Google thoughts. I annoy my partner with seemingly endless articles of how to achieve goals, and spread them around the normally very tidy abode.  I call friends (one in particular) to discuss my goals, to gather their/her thoughts as to how I can have it all done in one day and meanwhile, set up house in the castle of my dreams in Venice.  TODAY - NOW.

After their  soothing thoughts, of less exuberance, such as 'Rome wasn't built in a day' and, 'Baby steps Honey', I decide to reject these offers of suggestion and carry through my dreams alone.

However, despite all my attempts to channel my thoughts alone, I  kept hitting a brick wall.  Building Rome in one day was fast becoming  a delusion, as was getting my laundry dry on the outside clothesline in the rain.  My dream castle was fast crumbling into the Grand Canal in Venice.

Before the tide covers the roof of my castle,  I must change course.  I must change gears and go for plan B.  I must achieve the goals I can for this day, not change the course of my life in one swoop!  Firstly, I must remove the sodden clothes from the line,  throw them in the dryer or my partner won't have ironing to do tonight.  God forbid, I may have to do it when he is occupied with other things of his own,  rather than tidying the hoards of paper I have set out everywhere.

I have to look at what I have achieved so far.  I have to look at the things I can achieve today before the sun sets (or is that rain sets). In looking at what I can do today, I can see because of the rain, that it will surely be better to pour the foundation for my dreams in better weather. Rather than setting them on the  wet and soggy soil of Rome, only to have them collapse in the few short years to come.  No, I am not going to take baby steps but, I will make sure I take footed steps today to achieve my goals.

Yes, we all have dreams we would love to achieve in a short time, but maybe my advice givers were right?  Count our blessings!  Move  sure footed!  Yes, the rains will come to halt our progress, but they make us think more.  They make us think, 'Do we want our dreams to be short lived?'  Of course not!  We want our dreams to stand proud and tall for years to come like the grandeur of Rome.  We need our castles in Venice to withstand the tides and the rising damp.

Yes, we must have dreams but we must not beat ourselves (he he and others) up when we have a deluge of inclement weather.

When the rain clears we will notice that indeed those 'Rainy days and Mondays'  will bring growth and a  bounty that has vigorous and long lasting wonder.

Now, I must go apologise to my partner and my friends,

Cheers!

Bitchescoz 

 Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

My Castle in Venice

Media Assassins #ridicule #bullying #damage

Driving home this afternoon I was listening to, and usually enjoy a program hosted by 3 of my favourite broadcasters. That was until this afternoon! The trio are witty, amusing, entertaining  and have a great following and therein lies the reason for my writings and my decision not to follow again.

The topic for discussion this afternoon was 'Would you take your father out on the town?' Ageist? Yes, but this was balanced by the feedback that was phoned in.  So, I will let that ride for now. However, the preamble that took place prior to the talkback, was of enough for me to pull my car to the curb and listen as to just how far these guys would go. Or in fact, would they remedy the comments they made.

The preamble was about a celebrity father who was spotted in a Mexican themed night club.  The guy was recently reported in the tabloids as having undergone chondrolaryngoplasty or in laymen terms, a 'tracheal shave'.  Some of us may feel a little shy being seen out with a father of this age.  Though, I might add, if my Dad was to join me, I would feel rather privileged that he wanted to hang out with me. But no, the trio not only stuck it to him for his age and being spotted giving support to his son, but they stuck it to him and repeatedly referred to him as, 'He makes a very handsome woman!' Therein begins my anger! 

In a world, where the great Bob Dylan wrote 'Times they are a-changin!' I had thought that presenters of such programs would have enough empathy, enough compassion, and enough spirit of good will, for people who are fighting for their right to be recognized as equal in this world.

Who are these people who feel they have the right to make their fun at somebody else's expense. I would have thought radio stations would have learned their lesson with the Kate and William debacle! But no, the vulnerable are fair game for ridicule and sniggering, so long as the program rolls on and the ratings soar. Recently, quite rightly, there was a huge outpouring of anger and grief when the media lost one of their own due to online bullying and abuse. What is the difference between on-air public ridicule and online ridicule? I can hear you say that the online conversation was vitriolic abuse but, on-air ridicule is as every bit as damaging. As such, it is time this talk show ridicule was dumped along with those who peddle it.

I feel that as part of  the LGBTI community we continue to pave the way for recognition, acceptance and equal rights. We have emerged as human beings who have as much to offer as any other person on this earth.  We have strived to be recognized for our excellence in our work, our homes and our community.  None of us have walked in the other person's shoes, so how dare we publicly ridicule, and humiliate for the sake of ratings.  If in fact, this guy is undergoing a sex reassignment, let us support him, let us give him strength to face his decisions. Let us support his family that he feels comfortable to be seen with, at Mexican themed bars.

In this world that is ever changing let us not make a mockery of someone who is just trying to be themselves.  Let's stand alongside them show them love, caring and compassion.

Did the trio redeem themselves? No. sadly they did not. So, I am left to assume that they think their behaviour is perfectly fine, that it is ok to publicly ridicule and humiliate someone. Well, they can have their program, but I for one will no longer listen.

                                                  "For the wheel's still in spin, 
                                                   And there's no tellin who, 
                                                   That it's namin' for the loser now, 
                                                   Will be later to win, 
                                                   For the times they are a-changin!" 
                                                                    
                                                                   Bob Dylan