Little Boy Lost #love

Looking back over the past, I have come to the conclusion that love has always been deeply  important to me. Yes, some may say, a little like Peter Pan really in the Never Never Land. 

Love in my child-like mind is that of being unconditional.  It is also my belief that love should nurture you, comfort you, and keep you safe.  However, the little boy in me has realised that love also needs to be reciprocated with no conditions, no agenda, nor  motive except to be loved and and receive love in return. 

themamareport

 

But, now the little boy has grown up (after all these years) and realised, that the love I had given over and over again was very one sided and that I really was never to be on the end of unconditional love in return. 

When I talk this love, I am really talking of ‘parental love’. The love you find, that is not of blood, is a totally different kind.  That kind of love is a growing, ever striving love that needs to be worked on to take us through our days together.  But ‘parental love' should be unconditional, a God given link from the womb to the tomb. This has always been my belief

After thinking soundly through my ‘parental love’ experience, the only time I thought that I was loved in return, was as a toddler sneaking in to my mother’s room and kissing her to wake to feed me.  My mother worked shift work so would sleep through the day at this stage and, I believed that love was reciprocated when my tiny kisses would wake her to feed me.  As I grew, I believed that my kind of love was to be in my mind and no one needed to return it.  It was just my job to love.  Now listening back through ‘Barry Manilow” You Tube, I realise the truth in his words springing into my head: “needing to belong’, ‘if someone would have said your not alone’, and more sadly ‘all the wasted time. 

It has taken a long time for this little boy to find himself, to know that he is not lost and that he had the correct idea all along.  Love is unconditional, and that love has no cost, no restrictions, and no agenda. It has taken all this time to reach the conclusion that, this Peter Pan was not lost. In fact, the parents were the ones lost and did not know how to give love freely.  Their duty was to love with no strings attached and, that our love returned, would take them to their grave. 

Having left ‘Never, Never Land’ I need to put that all behind me and realise that my kind of love is not, and never will be, for them.  I have to learn to pat myself on the back and say your not so bad and that I do, indeed, belong.  I must realise that throwing my love that way over and over again is never going to give me love from them.  I have to dust off my shoes and concentrate on my partner's love and know that our love is one based on unconditional, heart felt, and never ending love even beyond the grave.

I have to let it go, and send my love to the people that love the same way I do.  I need to love so that love grows and has no barriers. Despite that love not being that of blood, it has more sustenance than my mother provided by a simple feed as a toddler.  That feed was her responsibility as a parent, but giving love that is unconditional became her choice, and she imposed a value on love. 

To those who have experienced the same, I urge you to stop, think, and believe in yourself. Know that you are not so bad, that you are very valued, and have the right for love to be returned in the same manner as you have given. 

Love has no expiry date.  Love has no limitations. Love has no agenda. Love is present and is a gift to be passed on through out the years. 

Till next time,

Cheers! 

spirit21.co.uk

 All the Time - Barry Manilow

Family #appearances #hurt #abuse #celebrations

As the religious calendar rolls around, family takes on a new significance with the exchange of well wishes and blessings, the sharing of good food and gifts, and the general connectedness that comes from such events. What was once an obligatory exchange of well wishes, has become a time of exchanging blessings and generally giving thanks with the ones that count.  

No longer am I tied to my past, where I wished everyone including the neighbours cat a happy blessing for the season.  I have finally believed enough in myself to bestow my blessings on a selected few. I have always believed that it is not only right to send such wishes on special occasions, but it gave a genuine connection to those with whom I shared my blessings. However, I have realised at last that the responses were mostly those of obligation to reply.  The indifference to my wishes and the obligation to reply are the same as the shop assistant saying, 'Have a nice day!' requires the appropriate response of,  'And to you also!' This is despite his indifference at his counter, despite how he queried the article in question and called for price check that must have had to be sourced from the country of origin! And, now I am late for an appointment. 

I have come to realise that my wishes and blessings of the season were replied to only by obligation. There was no meaning nor sensitivity to the replies, it was simply a matter of, lets reply and get this over with! The next season is just around the corner and I must do this before the next text rolls in. I know everyone is time poor with a busy lifestyle but, these holidays and celebrations, give us that little bit of time to take stock and remember those who have helped us, and are dear to us, on the pathway of life.

This year I have celebrated in a more low key fashion. I have actually shared it with people that are dear and near to me. My celebration was not tied to elder clansmen and women's desires for things to be done their way or not at all. My celebration was one of hope, that there is indeed that of life after death, new beginnings and a tangible happiness that comes from this.That there is hope for a better future, hope for a world of peace and hope that we will see equality for all by the time I finally close my eyes to begin that other journey.  This is the finally the celebration that I truly wanted and this year has seen the first of those dreams and aspirations to start in full.  This is on my bucket list and I want to achieve that.

I wished to spend my time with people who equally respected me and I celebrated this occasion (Easter) without fear without condemnation for simply being me.  It was relaxed, emotions were stable and all enjoyed each other's company and no remorse as to why we celebrated in the first place. There were no hidden agendas - only agendas of like minded people celebrating life after death. 

To those who fear these occasions, I beg for you to begin your next celebration as that - a celebration of renewal, a celebration of life.  A celebration of love, not one that you must peer over your shoulder to wonder what the actual agenda is and who may stab you. 

Think positively - the world is a much better place without the negativity of those who have no feeling but for themselves.  The world needs positivity that creates peace and harmony - not a world of derision.  Only then can these days of celebration be visionary to a world of peace for which we celebrate. 

Take care till next time

Bitchescoz!

EMail: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Christmas Approaches #family #friendship #equality #festiveseason

As I have told you, we are off to Europe etc for a few months soon, and apart from the organising of travel and accommodation, all is sweet. There are no thoughts of stress and worry over the Christmas celebrations. We are going with three members of the family who are more friends than family and for the festivities we are meeting with dear friends. 

If you speak to most people single, straight, gay or indifferent, they all seem to have the angst of Christmas celebrations.  For a celebration that is meant to celebrate birth and new hope, it tends to give birth to anxiety, frustration, and fear of what may come of those days, spent together.  Strangely, most say that even though you may be around the corner, day in day out, from your family, the actual stress evolves from those that you see more regularly, than those you see only on special occasions.

This year we decided to take the leap and go it, with the ones that give us joy, the ones that you have no secrets from, those that have no hidden agenda, those that you feel safe and secure with.  Yes, you got it!  We chose these friends and they chose us!  Please God, make this be the best silly season we have ever experienced.  Make this a season of true spirit, true happiness, and true hope, for a better future.

No doubt there will be some pre-holiday jitters regarding Christmas presents and farewells to those we leave behind. But as we board that plane, those stresses will go in the cloud of dust that the plane leaves behind us.  I have always wondered why we put ourselves in these situations of stress, when basicall,y all involved are going through the same stresses as ourselves.  Each and everyone of us are feeling as we do, just from a different perspective.

Some may say that our decision to celebrate this Christmas with our immediate family and friends is selfish.  To those I say yes!  Yes, selfish to want to spend this season of rebirth with those from whom there is no hidden conversation, no worry of who should do this, or who should behave in a certain manner other than being yourself.

To those that believe that, I pray that your celebrations will go smoothly, stress free and will bring renewal to your life as intended traditionally.  For us, this will be a beginning of something new, something exciting, something that strays from the norm, but will hopefully take us into the New Year with a sense of purpose,  a sense of vigour and a true honesty to be who we are, and believe that we are all equal without agenda or secrets.

Friendship is a choice.  We all have acquaintance friendships but true friends are our choice to love, nurture, share the good times with the sad. Yes they are our chosen family. So this year we are celebrating in style, with family that have no barriers, no rules of protocol.  Our friendship family is one that lifts, fulfills, and brings life into our hearts. They give hope for a future of equality, and justice, for each and every being.

Throughout the course of our journeys we will share our experiences, our pics and ourselves along the way.  So stay in touch.  I love your emails.  Sharing and listening are the greatest gifts, I believe as it gives me a sense of unity with the world.

Until next time, stay safe, be kind to yourself and remember that alone we can move hills but together we can move mountains.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

How Long is a Piece of String? #love #relationships #philosophy

We all use philosophical riddles like 'How long is a piece of string?' And others such as 'How deep is the ocean?" They are riddles that do not have an answer and, when you think about it, one can't add a quantity or length to it.  This is the same for love really! How do we quantify love? 

irisclasson.com

Each and every one of us is different. We have our own likes and dislikes. Quite often it is these differences or similarities that create great relationships, be it as friends or lovers. The depth of love varies depending on the type and the person. If it is a friendship love you bounce your differences off each other and there is acceptance of that. But, the beauty of a friendship love is you are not in a 24/7 situation often. This is the case for my Bestie and I, though we have managed some very heated exchanges via text message. Boy, I am glad I am not the screen on her phone as she thumps her messages out when we are in full flight. I am sure the satellite has smoke pouring out of it as our texts fly back and forth. However, our differences soon pass and then, past is past!

In a family love it is much the same, you all have differences, interests, and preferences. 'Blood is thicker than water.' they say, referring to families 'sticking together through thick and thin'. However, the old saying 'You can choose your friends but you cannot choose your relatives' is probably more accurate as sibling rivalry, old squabbles, and new beginnings strain relationships. Though mostly, you respect the blood tie and your love again is a riddle that only you and the other party can quantify.  
 
A love/partner relationship, is ongoing, learning, growing together. It is experiencing life's joys, and trials and tribulations scenario. This is a more in your face, in your bed, situation. This relationship needs a lot of attention from both parties to keep the zing, the romance, and the passion for togetherness alive. Just because you share a house, you share a bed, does not mean that both of you are exactly the same. The love that we as partners have, varies from relationship to relationship. Each and every one of us have our own hidden, or open rules.  God, I know we do, even though I am perfect :) There can still be differences from time to time.  

Each type of love is a philosophical riddle in  itself.  The depth, strength, and longevity is determined by what we put into it.  As none of us are privy to when we close our eyes for the last time, we should be open to learning, to growing, to nurturing any love that is before us. Our circle of friends love may vary or grow. But, how open we are to others determines how, why and when!

The love we have for each other is not determined by our bank balance.  It should not be based on 'My love is better than your love' owing to what you have done for someone.  Love should be a gift with no expectations placed on it.  A free merging of spirit and acceptance. A generosity of heart. We as adults should not accept that love can be directed by, and dictated, as to who we love by ancient teachings or politics.  

In other words love has no limits, just the extremities of how great each, and everyone of us, can make it.  Sure, there will be dark and difficult days! But, knowing that someone is there with you, be it friend, family, or lover, the philosophical statement "the sky is the limit" is yours for the asking.  

These are my thoughts and I would love to hear from you again on email.  I love the discussions.  

Till next time crank up the volume of Diana Ross and sing along with me 'Ain't no mountain high enough.'

Cheers!
 
Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Diana Ross

The Way We Were! #family #reunions #reminicing #memories

Over the last couple of weeks with a dear uncle of mine passing away, and the reunion of my best friend, a lot of time has been spent thinking of the past.  The good, the bad, the ugly and the exquisite. With his passing a lot of memories have been foremost in our minds, remembered and shared.  Mostly the memories are of those that have gone before him.  People, that in your mind, he will love to catch up with, if there is a next life.  People that were part of his life, my life.  People who would have nurtured, given advice, taught and encouraged him to be the great man he was.   
These memories can be both bitter and sweet.  People like him, and others, have brought joy and meaning to our lives. They have encouraged us to conquer our fears. They have guided us when at times we thought there was little hope. They have shown by action, rather than words, their strengths and their weaknesses. These memories consciously or subconsciously have led us to be the people that we are today.  In our silence, away from the great tributes of joy that this man and many others have brought  us, we meditate, reflect, and recount why people such as he, have formed our lives. Sadly we also remember some of those people that have given us grief, not encouraged us. The ones that, without the help of those who are great, may have caused us to fall by the wayside and suffer badly.   
It just so happened that my best friend came at this time.  To her I recount those great stories! But, along with those, there are some very hurtful ones and we have been able to spring clean. Being a true friend you are free to share those scattered pictures of your past.  You are able to showcase them in their original form, and display for everyone to view your mantle of many happy occasions.

There are however, some pictures that are only to be reflected upon. Some pictures to be viewed, and contemplate, how they are only the negatives of our album.  These pictures can be seen through lenses that blur our vision of our past.  These pictures are exposed for their poor quality and having  revisited these snaps of our past, you can dust them off,  re box, seal and dispose of finally.  These unhappy snaps of our life should be aired, observed and visited, but we must call on the happy shots that have brought us strength.  Allow these beautiful memories to over ride the evil negatives that have been lurking in that box of nostalgia.

We must look at the positives that these people have given us through our lives.  Let them take precedence and shelve the negative influences.  Until we dispose of the negatives properly they will give our mantle a smoke haze rather than the warmth these embers of hope and joy have given us.  

It is great to speak these thoughts and feelings that you have.  It is also great to expose these negatives  so they can never be displayed on a mantle of horror.  We must deal with and then dispose of, so that their influences can never discolour the beauty that we have found within.  Until we deal with these memories, we can never truly see the beauty, and we can never forget those who were/are not so good.

Air these memories, dispose of the negatives and remember the way we were with a view to a great future. Only then will our newly dusted pictures be truly exquisite and shed real warmth and a glow for those around us.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

The Way We Were! Barbra Streisand

Heading in the Right Direction #love #inspiration #appreciation

Keeping up appearances is something we all do.  When we are going for the big night out - the dinner; the job interview to impress; the power meeting to sell our wares; the school and University reunions - we want to look our best.  For these times we preen, fluff, change our clothes a million times, (ok that maybe a gay thing) check the mirror to see if we will impress.

When we are at home or among friends, family and loved ones, we tend to let our guard down, chill a little, let them see us warts and all.  We tend to blend in with the furniture and our loved ones tend to be as comfy as the warm throw on the couch.  We use this comfort to keep us warm and snuggly, and feel safe, knowing that it's always there when we need it.
 

The lyricist and jazz great, Renee Geyer, wrote and sang 'Am I heading in the right direction for your loving  and affection?'  She also said, 'Day to day, I hope and pray, that this feeling is really going to grow!' So, I guess we do have to do a few things to keep it growing.  Like that little pot of glorious colour that we take for granted sitting by our front porch. It needs water, some added nutrient, and some gentle nurturing to keep it alive, and blooming, for years to come.  It's lovely to see it there! It's easy to take for granted that, it will always be there. However, we need to give it some attention, not just use it as a lovely background for our happy pics for our photo album.  We need to bring it inside every so often - show it off a little, not just leave it outside and walk past it.  Put it slap, right bang in the middle of our dining table! Show those around you and bring its glory into the lives of others. Talk to it, say 'God you look ravishing!' (Oh God I sound like Prince Charles talking to nature or, is that Princess Luke?)

I guess, what I am saying here is, it's nice to feel all warm, cozy and contented, knowing that our loved ones are there, and we don't need to impress.  But, just as we dress to impress for the big occasions, we have to preen ourselves a little every now and again, to let others feel that they are as high on the agenda as that big job interview. They are our life blood. They are important to us. They need to know that we care! That we will go out of our way to show them how much we love them and, appreciate them in our lives.
So, cook up a storm! Invite friends and family over, pick a few flowers from your garden, and say 'Thanks' every so often.  Rub your partner on the shoulder and say thanks and I love you.  Home make your child's birthday cake (even if it doesn't look a bit like the Jamie Oliver original).  Show them you care and that they are special in your life.  Send a few random texts to your friends and let them know you are thinking of them.

These are my thoughts and if I give of myself a little, it has a domino effect and encourages them to do the same and then we will be 'Heading in the Right Direction.'

Cheers!

Bitches Coz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Advice Required - Big Time #dilemma #gay #matriarch

To all those who read, and respond to, my writings, I am calling on you right now to advise me.!

Over the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time with a dear friend of mine who is between a rock and a hard place.  I have listened to him and have said, I can give my feeble advice but, I am out of my depth here.  I told him that I would ask for some advice to help him with his problem.  So here I am, begging for anyone out there who may have some advice on how I, in turn can advise him as to what to do.  I have given him my word that there will be no mention of names, hereditary, nor where he comes from, so he has given me permission to ask advice, give him answers/reasons as to his situation.

Ok, let's begin with some background to his life.  He was born to a normal yet well healed family.  A family that shows greatness in family matters.  They take great pride that their family be seen as a pillar of society. A family that appears greater on the outside, than inside the privacy of their homes. From my discussions with him, and what I have witnessed over the years, their family hierarchy is built on a very strong matriarchal presence.  The mother rules the roost but, with a slight of hand that appears not to come from her.  She has, forever, been seen to outsiders as a caring and sharing woman of substance.  Even today in her later years she is seen as this sweet little old lady that is giving of heart, soul and compassion.  Not so for my friend and I might add to anyone who has crossed her in the past or now.

She prides herself on her petiteness and her 'best dressed' status.  I have had the misfortune of accompanying my friend, and his mother, to dress shops. Within 5 minutes you have heard her life story, mention of her age, and her size at her age. Within those 5 minutes the shop assistant has fulfilled her needs by overly patronising her age, gushing forth compliments and stroking her ego. I am sure if this woman had a Facebook page, it would be adored by millions for her good deeds to charity and, her nurturing of family, especially my gay friend who by this time is cowering in the corner of the nearest changeroom.  In my humble opinion this woman is so egocentric that I want to rush to the nearest fire extinguisher, and put out the malicious spite in velvety tones that comes from her mouth.

This woman needs to be adored and worshipped for her great works to humanity and her family.  This woman needs even at her age to be seen as something that men still crave, and lust after. Anyone, who does not measure up to her unwritten criteria, is to this day exiled and will suffer her wrath.

I asked my friend of his mother's friends.  Does this woman have friends and girlfriends?  (Do they still call each other girlfriends at her age?)  His reply is that she has only had a few girlfriends that he could recall in his life.  These women were friends only when they were at their weakest. She would befriend them, tell them how much they relied on her, and once they had made it back up from their misery, she would dispense of their friendship.  The search was then on for another conquest to share her 'compassion'.  It appears she only needed them while they were fuelling her need for praise and thanks.  (I would think that they saw an opening, and bolted to the exit before they could no longer breathe from the the exhaustive breaths of adoration they had to bestow on her.)  Men in her life, he says, were her achilles heal!  She needed them to surround her!  She needed them to be in pursuit of her.  If they stroked her ego they could stay in her presence.  If they offended her ego in anyway, it was, and is, like biting the heal that was not dipped in the River Styx.  It appears that, but for her heal, the woman is immortal.  And, all that are in her presence must strictly adhere to her criteria. 

I then asked him of his family, he said his family is not huge as his mother was an only child. He had a grandmother (since departed) that he adored; sisters of his grandmother (also departed) with whom he shared great time and fun; two sisters, one exiled and one that he has great admiration and love for;  a brother that is distant and calculating and knows which heal not to touch when around his mother.  After the death of his grandmother and aunts, the matriarch stopped at nothing to destroy his memories of them. The sister that he is close to has discussed with him many times that she is not appreciated, nor loved, by the mother but, tries to keep in touch for the sake of the family.  When the mother hears of these two talking she alienates him until they hide their communication to fulfil the mother's desires.  This slight of hand, that I spoke of before, is certainly a magical trick she plays as she pits one against the other. Both crave love and acceptance! They don't want to rock the boat that they were born into. The father is a lovely old gentleman but, always wants to please his love! For he knows, that once upon a time, he nibbled on her heal, and he paid for that dearly, by being exiled for many years.  He now wants to play out his twilight years without drama and will conform to her rules.  Even his nearest and dearest, and only, living sister has been turned from him and to play it safe, he has no communication but through the matriarch.  

On his relationships - while, my friend is seen as the dominant one in his relationship she favours him (I guess coz he is a man in her eyes) but, the partner is then destroyed as, he being the weaker of the two, becomes a threat to the son's affection for her. When the son is seen as the less dominant, as he is at this moment in time, she favours the other, then seeks to destroy her son.  (Weird to me that a mother can ever turn on her own!)  In his life he has struggled through many sicknesses and yes the mother has always been helpful. However, she always needs adoration for her kindness and pours out to everyone of her greatness. And, I might add, she always tells others she has had the same afflictions but has dealt with them silently. (I have heard it from her own mouth.)  Again showing her courageous nature (such a crock.) As a gay guy, he has had many female friends and yes, she destroys them too! She embeds and embellishes herself onto them so deeply, that they back out of his life or he just does not mention them to her in fear of her taking them from him as well.  When he mentions them to her, and does not introduce, she works herself into a frenzy and makes remarks pertaining to his secretive nature. She always plays the trump card that she does everything in her power to be the best mother and yet he does not include her. (Fuck I feel for this guy!)

As a friend, I now keep well clear of any association with her as I don't wish to be destroyed by her. But, more so because I want to be friends with him and his partner, and be some strength to help them face what she puts them through.  

Ok, now I ask you for help as to how to advise him.  My suggestion was to stop contact with her, but my friend and his partner are very family conscious and care far too deeply for that.  He loves his father, and knows that if he was to do that, she would destroy that cherished time he spends with him.  

I am so confused! Can you help me, help him?  I am so out of my depth here, as to whether this woman has Munchausen by proxy, a black widow syndrome, or is she just plain evil?  I am teetering on 'plain evil'.  

So if you have any advice on the matter - help me help him!

Cheers

Bitchescoz

dailymail.co.uk

Determined by our Past??

My dear partner has a saying that is both endearing and annoying. He says it all the time when we are making up after an argument; when things have not quite turned out as expected; or we have been let down by those around us. 'Past is Past' he says! Alternately, whist not dwelling on the past, another friend of mine believes you cannot know where you are going if you cannot acknowledge where you come from. To make peace with our past is one of the most difficult tasks we face through life, as mostly, our past experience which  molds who we become, is in the hands of others.

The single biggest influence in our lives is family, or lack of, depending upon our circumstance. The  family ideal, of kids raised in the bosom of a loving Mum and Dad, is definitely not the norm today. A family today varies from a single parent successfully raising children alone, same sex couples raising their children in a loving, nurturing atmosphere, Mum and Dad battling through to raise happy and carefree young adults. While these families definitely do exist, there are others where the trauma of dysfunctional parenting, circumstance of poverty, separation, and abuse make life choices for children raised in these families difficult. The old saying of 'The more things change, the more they stay the same" applies to parenting and families as well. Dysfunctional families have existed since man stood upright and walked on two legs. It is how we have dealt with the human debris from such families that has changed. In the past children were taken from, or given up by, their parents to become wards of the state, where they were placed in institutions at the mercy of tyrannical nuns, brothers,  wardens and the like. Unfortunately, (what an understatement) for these hapless tots life was about to take a turn very much for the worse! Whether we like it or not, our past circumstance plays an enormous role in the baggage we carry through our lives.

This is evident in the haunted faces of the witnesses at the Royal Commission into the Abuse of Children at the hand of Institutions. These poor souls have had their lives destroyed. They have clawed their way back from hell on earth to 'live' as normal a life as is possible. But, the life they live is nothing like the life they may have led, had these disgusting acts of violence and sexual abuse not been perpetrated against them. What a sick society we live in that some of these people have had to wait 60 years to have a voice. There are thousands of others who will not come forward, not because they lack the courage, but simply because the pain is buried so deep within that it is impossible to allow it to bubble up to the surface. To do so would simply destroy them. Maybe, one day, they will be ready, but then again - maybe not! To say these people should learn from their past is a statement of the ignorant as they have a lesson in their past that has left them truly broken.

So what happens when abuse is not only handed out by the Brothers at school, but the family as well. How do these damaged people break away from the cycle of abuse that continues as manipulation and subversive bullying long into adulthood. It is well nigh impossible as the perpetrators have groomed their victim into submissiveness. They believe they are worthless, eager to please and craving acceptance. Add into this the gay factor and the perfect storm presents! Why do people do this, to those they supposedly love? Is it because he is gay? How can they systematically set about purposely destroying the life of one of their own. All the time making out it is all his own fault. All the time playing mind games that leave him believing he is nothing but trash. Every time he claws his way from the brink of hell they are there stomping on him, pushing him back into the abyss. These people revel in their power. How can one escape the past, when the past becomes the present.

Everyone has a past and often those who are the keenest to present a posh face to the world have the most to hide. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing but admiration for those who rise above adversity to lead very successful lives. But we must not forget our past! We might try to bury it, or sweep it under the carpe, but it always comes back to bite us on the arse if we are not honest about, from where we have come. A lot of people passing judgement on others would do well to remember this. Their lives hold a lot of skeletons. Everyone would do well to remember their childhood and youth, to remember their feelings and acknowledge their mistakes. Especially before they make decisions that damage or destroy those around them.

To come to terms with our past, we have to forgive ourselves. We have to realize we are not to blame for acts perpetrated against us. Some say we must forgive those who have perpetrated these indictments - forgive but not forget! This is easy to say, but almost impossible to do, especially when it appears that justice will never be served.To learn from our past is inevitable! What a lesson though - one of human frailty, cruelty and fickleness.

The one consolation in all this, is the strength of human spirit that shines through. Not in how society has compensated these victims of their past, but in how these broken souls have risen to become mothers, fathers and valuable members of the society that failed them.

May God bless them and may they find peace in their lifetime!

Bitches Coz!