Anyone for Tea?

It is said that bantering between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor was rife and quite often amusing. The infamous quote where Lady Astor said, “Winston if you were my husband, I would poison your tea.” and, Winston in reply said, “Madam if you were my wife, I would drink it.” is quite amusing but, in fact very close to home. When I think of the male role models I have had over the years, two of the three, remind me of the desperation and confusion that must have gone through their minds as to whether to drink the potion, or not! To say this confusion played a big part in their lives is an understatement. 

Two vibrant, articulate, handsome men caught in a web of a very evil, conniving, self-centered, ogre of a woman. Two self-reliant men, capable of anything yet, vulnerable to their own detriment.  Two men who nursed, cared for, and loved their first wives to the end. Two strong men , both fragile enough to fall prey to a spider so calculating, able to draw them into her web of deceit and lies.  Two men, who did nothing, to deserve this fate.   Two men, whose only thoughts were to love, and to be loved in return.

The first of these three men escaped from the web but, not without battle fatigue or, without the sting that she would inflict on him.  Yes indeed he escaped her clutches, but to do so he suffered dearly, but he kept strong with the love that he had to offer. Even she could not take that love that was in his heart. Yes, he was younger, stronger and found someone that would love him and be with him to this day.  However, the love that he found, created a stronger deadlier venom in the evil spider from whom he escaped - a venom that one can only fear.  Fear and stay clear of her webs. 

From the very day he left her life, her rampage of terror gained momentum.  From that very day she gathered allies. She gathered them to connect by a mutual relationship, a resemblance to friendship, and once she had gained their strength she would devour their very being, and cast them from her side forever.

She developed a very cunning persona. Outwardly she was the pillar of society, the pillar of the church, the pillar of compassion and caring, but her victims fell into her poisonous web.  The victims, or people she cared for, would be stripped of their nearest and dearest, stripped of their possessions and totally dependent on the spider.  Then, as sure as the sun rises, they would be stripped of their lives. 

The two men had no chance.  They could not see nor foretell their fate.  This black widow spider was about to serve them tea and they had no choice but to drink it.  When each of the two men entered  into her life, she devoured their prior existence, she excluded friends, family, and the very things that indeed gave them pleasure, their sport, their books, their computers, their love for others.  She possessed their minds and in so doing convinced those around them that she was indeed the carer, the lover, the wife. 

Both of these two men both begged to know why they were in this situation.  Alas the convincing spider gained control of their medications, their activities and their bank balances.  After all it was not difficult at this point to convince them that their only activity was to visit another doctor, to find yet another disability that drew them closer to their death.

So convincing is she, that right to the end, she would strip them of their minds, their sight and their hearing, all in order to keep her web intact.  At the end she would draw on her rent a crowd of friends (all of whom were as deceitful as she) to cover her tracks so as not to lose traction to her lies and deceit. In doing so, would leave a path of broken friends and family to wonder how anyone could act with such evil in her heart. (A heart made of stone)

These two men died in a delirium of wonder, both suffering more than during their time in military service, both wondering what they had done to deserve this in their final days.  Both begged to drink that tea and go over the mountain to a new life.  The third man is bruised and frail now, but knows that he will pass in the arms of a woman who is the love of his life, a woman that has given him his heart back and a woman who returns his love, a woman who cares deeply. 

To all three men I offer you peace.  To the two men already gone, I pray you will find your friends and family in the next life.  I pray that those friends and family will take you in their arms and give you comfort as has the thirds man’s wife.  I pray that you will wake from your slumber of pain and find wings of angels and fly.  As for me, I miss you all dearly. And as I sort my way through this seemingly drunken debacle, if I was ever to see this woman again, I know as Bessie Braddock said to Winston, the scene would be set for her from me.  This spider’s words would be those of Bessie Braddock and they would be “Winston you are Drunk” and I would say to her as Winston said “Yes, madam I am drunk, but tomorrow you will still be ugly, very ugly and evil.”

Jenny Craig and the Bulimic Diet Plan

Strangely enough, for my whole life most people have chosen to never tell me the truth and  inevitably the truth always comes out at some stage. No matter how simple the question, they simply cannot give me a straight answer. Funny really, a gay guy wanting a straight answer.  Though in my heart I know that the lie is there, and the more I search for the truth, the deeper they build or extend the lie. And sure enough when the truth is out I work myself up to such a state that  I’m projectile puking like a Jenny Craig bulimia diet plan. Sadly, I am not skinny and I do apologize to those that suffer from the disease. 

I am seriously wondering why people can’t be open?  Yes, the truth may hurt sometimes but, at least it is the truth, and there is no white washing it.  In my heart of hearts I know that the deception is there and the more I delve the deeper the wound, the more fabricated the lie becomes.  For instance a couple of years ago we were organizing our trip to Europe and I was discussing my thoughts of the plans to my friend to discuss with her husband.  I would ask her to run my thoughts past her husband. She was convincing in the beginning that she would discuss when he got home from work.  Days would go by and I would repeat my questions and either she would avoid (pretend she never read my messages) or tell me he had to race out early for work, or would return from work tired and go straight to bed or golf days were on etc etc.  The little fibs kept building and my curiosity and wanting an answer was wearing thin. It came to the Friday and she avoided the topic by saying she would speak with him on the weekend. Sure, I thought (NOT)!  She is avoiding, fibbing, hiding something, or was too embarrassed to tell me she was a tight ass (which I already had known so no need hide). That very last night after finishing my talks with her and her telling me she would ask him on the weekend, I was running down my newsfeed on FB to see her husband say “Enjoying Turkey”  and photos to match.  The next day I thought, ‘I won’t let on.’ So, when I spoke to her asking how she was going explaining my thoughts to her husband, she said she would ask as soon as he got home from his golf.  I let her run with her deception until a day or two later I ask if his game was in Turkey?   Turkey she proclaimed, with a dash of guilt.  Yes, I said I saw him on FB.  The excuses came left right and centre as to why she had not told me.  None of which would have taken precedence over truth, but hey she promised never to lie again, we went on our holiday of Europe and the Turkey saga is behind us. 

salon.com

Having given an example of a simple lie, I wonder why do people have to do it?  Why can’t they be open?  They can be forthright in business dealings.  Forthright in their political and religious beliefs but when asked some simple question from a friend or relative does it need the deceit?  Please, don’t tell me they didn’t want to hurt my feelings!  That’s what it does big time with the barrage of cover-ups and avoidance of topic because the truth comes out in the smallest of ways, and cuts like a surgeon’s scalpel.  

 

Is it that some people are more prone to being lied to than others?  Do they expect me to be like a policeman and search for the truth?  Or do they really think I am a fool who is gullible enough to let it go without question?  Why is it that those who have been hurt badly must be subjected to more deceit from their closest and dearest? 

Simply I put I to my jury of readers - why is it so? 

Until next time cheers, care for yourselves and those around you. 

If it is Flooded - Forget It

‘If it is flooded, forget it!’ - This very successful advertising campaign is conducted every summer with the onset of the wet season. This campaign tells us to never assume anything. Do not assume the depth of the water. Do not assume the height and power of your car. Do not assume the strength of current. Do not assume your level of intelligence.

This is certainly fair comment. We should not assume that conditions at any one time will be the same as the last time we visited.  It’s also a fair assumption that we should take care, that we should be mindful, even if we feel it is ok, that we could put others in danger. This campaign targets all drivers, both experienced and the not so experienced, as no one sector has the mortgage on stupidity. 

Other media campaigns have targeted many worthwhile causes and prove that these are very powerful tools to change the mindset of society.  We have seen campaigns targeting the use of mobile phones while driving; targeting drivers not leaving children and animals in the car while parked; targeting having each and every passenger, including animals, buckled up and safe. The iconic campaign - ‘Drink and drive, and you’re a bloody idiot’ has been a major success, with drink driving now being socially unacceptable, and truly changing the behavior of a nation.   

 

The government has targeted many areas over the years, from obesity, lifestyle, alcohol, drugs, etc etc.  Cigarette advertising has ceased.  In shops tobacco products are now stored behind closed doors so they are not visible or attractive to the young.  No-one under eighteen is able to buy tobacco or alcohol products. All of these campaigns are valid and, even though tobacco is still glorified along with alcohol in Hollywood movies, the use of tobacco products has certainly declined majorly in recent years. I am not so sure the alcohol consumption message is getting through yet! As people seem to think that someone else is responsible for our behavior these days, these government campaigns will become more intense and attempt to change the way we live our lives. The government will attempt to become our moral compass and change our behavior through media campaigns, rules and regulations, and fees and fines. Is this a good thing? I do not know and I will let you be the judge.

 

However, if you doubt the effectiveness of advertising campaigns, just drive your modest little sedan between the hours of 7 and 9 in the mornings and, again in the hours of 2 and 4 in the afternoon and you will find the media campaigns for 4WDriving has encouraged these drivers to believe that they can do anything. These drivers know all the conditions of the road, whether its flooding or fine weather.  One could say they are bullet proof, and their 4WD’s are designed for the rough conditions that we call school zones. The lady that whips off her belt and beats the snake to death is alive and well, with the 4x4’s, butt whipping those in smaller cars in the school zones. 

Quite often you see them mounting curbs, nosing their way in to lanes, parking wherever they want, intimidating the small cars, and why?  Because the advertising campaigns that the major car manufacturers run, show the captive audience, that these creatures of the off road can do anything. They are big and robus,t and appear to be able to go anywhere. Do we see those manufacturers tagged with the slogan ‘Drive moderately’ as you do with liquor shop advertising.  I don't think so! 

 

How many times do you have to hear your rear cameras going off  to tell you that this off road creature is up your tail and they mean business with that 10 tonne bull bar. I am sure the beeps of the camera are sounding out a warning that I am about to be violated in my derriere. Or, is it screaming, ‘Get over! This bull bar means business!’ After all it can climb mountains, drive through rivers, run along our sandy beaches, and my car is a mere pebble in its way.  

 

Yes, advertising is a great tool and it shows us to be aware, to take care, but it also works on the other side of the pendulum building up an image of self importance and invincibility. God knows how many of these drivers believe these campaigns that they can do anything and don't have to think. This vehicle climbs cliffs, crawls across boulders and flies across the outback so my anxiety level has increased. The tools I have taken from those campaigns shows me there are a few tools behind the giant wheels around me.  

 

I am not jealous of these creatures of the outback but, while in the cities, do they think that they own the roads as well.  Do you see people like me driving across the great outback in my sedan or driving along our pristine beaches?  The answer is, ‘No’. Because the manufacturer of my car did not advertise my car was bullet proof.  Even my parking assist tells me to proceed with care.  When I start it, an ‘accept ‘ sign makes me press, to say I am aware of the navigation system.  Maybe the 4WD’s should have an ‘accept’ that they share  the road with others that are smaller than they are and proceed with care. 

 

These two sides of the pendulum demonstrate just how effective advertising is! Maybe it is time the invincibility of the tool behind the wheel of the 4 wheel drive was tempered, and a few responsibilities of courteous and safe driving practices were highlighted for the owners of these vehicles. The present media representation is delivering the wrong message. I’m sure that if I owned a vehicle like this, treated it the way the advertisements say, my insurance company may have something to say or not pay out. If the manufacturers of these vehicles are not prepared to temper the invincibility of the owners, maybe the government should help to take these fuel guzzling monsters off off the road by taxing them out of existence. Exempt our farmers, mining, and true campers and off roaders but the suburban terrorists need to some incentive to change their behaviour. It has worked with smokers!!!!!!

 

These are my thoughts and I would sure like to have your views on the matter so drop me a line.  Another campaign that is dear to my heart is stopping bullying. However bullying takes on a whole new meaning in school time driving. 

Cheers.

Forbidden Fruit Revisited

This may set the theologian's hearts into a spin.  This may even give the fundamentalists a tremor in their pants but it has to be said.  Maybe the good book was intended to be different if dear little Eve wasn't so impatient? 

I pre-empt, as a gay guy knowing that guys to guys understand our bodies, more so than woman do.  We know what the pieces do and how far they can be stretched so to speak.  It is the same for women! My lesbian friends say that it is their knowing each others bodies that make it tick or do the trick. 

So having said that, could that be why God got a little tetchy when Eve jumped the gun or got a tad excited over Adam’s Guns?  After all he was created in God’s image, and that, apparently is perfect.  I am having visions of trying to hold myself back from Michelangelo’s David or Adonis.  I am pretty sure if he said hands off while I rest, I would be having troubles with the apple and my serpent as well, so Eve must be forgiven for her indiscretions.

Ok, God told them not to touch the tree of knowledge. Maybe, just maybe, God wasn't finished creating quite yet, and needed a little nanny nap to figure out reproductive organs etcetera. Maybe, just maybe, he told these two to wait until the jobs were finished.  Maybe, he was contemplating another Adam to fit in with Adam and another Eve to compliment Eve.  Just maybe, being gay was the way it was to be, and because Eve jumped Adam and got her leaf off, we have suffered since. 

Maybe,just maybe, we were set for a life of gay abandon till she stewed her apple! And, that is why God said, that in punishment, Adam was to make and collect food and Eve was to bear children with pain. 

God, if she had not interrupted the plan, the straights may be seeking equal rights today and not us. 

But seriously, both are great stories! However, no one is totally satisfied.  Both stories have merit but by all accounts God told them to hold back.  Not once did he say go for it while I sleep.  Maybe, just maybe, he only wanted to people on Earth that never gave him grand-kids. Maybe, he wanted to see them grow only as friends and not experience the problems of divorce, of sexuality, of raring kids, of growing old, and still needing to bonk.  Maybe, just maybe, he wanted his world to be two friends knowing true friendship and sharing life in general. God knows. 

Maybe God had no intention to have either of them looking over their shoulder to see who or what was judging them. After all, you can’t be persecuted for being just you and there is no one to judge but God himself!

I know if I was God, (a bit late now after going off about blowing my cherry over David and Adonis) no matter who I put on earth in my image, I would want for them to be free to be who they are.  Free, as long as they do not physically or mentally hurt anyone. And, never having to prove themselves to anyone but their God.  I know that I would want them to love genuinely and deeply.  I would want for them to know friendship, to know compassion, to know true acceptance and caring, and to give till the only pain was that of giving. 

This is how I would want my creation story to be passed down through the generations.  I would want for my religious interpreters, and leaders, to read my gospels filled with love, sharing and compassion.
These are my thoughts .

Cheers until next time