Grateful! #respect #gratitude #humble #thanks

Today I decided on a follow up on my last topic 'I Love you More'.  I got a heap of emails and messages thanking me for what I wrote, and to those people, I thank you and I am grateful you took the time to read.  The majority felt as I do and that we don't tell our loved one we love them enough.  And like me they will try to change our quite selfish little ways.

So to carry on with the extended topic - I was thinking how many of us, (me included), forget to give thanks, and be grateful for where we are today? Give thanks for the help we are given along the way. To give thanks and truly mean it!  It is so easy to just say thanks as we speed out the door and, not make others around us feel as special as they are to us.  

In this world, we forget we came in naked and, we will probably go out wearing an ill-fitting, tasteless outfit, chosen by someone else.  An outfit that has probably been cut down the back to fit our mortal remains before they turn to dust.  A terrible thought I know, but that's life really. When I leave here, I would like to be respected for caring and giving thanks to those who helped me.  Thanks to those who helped me on my journey, not just those who happened to be around before I finally close my eyes. My journey has not been just me. My journey thus far, has been scattered with great people. People who made me feel important! People who gave me strength. People who helped, encouraged and lifted me in my low times and, people with whom I have laughed and who made me laugh in those highs.

There are very few indeed, that need not be grateful for someone, along their journey. Everyone has needed, and needs, other people in their lives. There would be no kingdoms, no religions, no businesses, no existence, and dare I say, celebrity without people.

This thought brought me to running my fingers through the blue ticks in our Twitter accounts. You look at the great magazines, the businesses, the successful entrepreneurs - the majority of these have vast numbers of followers, and barring a few, follow others. They probably believe that these people keep them in the life to which they have become accustomed. Or maybe, they are simply grateful for those people that have enabled their careers, their magazines, their sites and businesses to be successful.

I try to avoid following celebrities, so it was a new experience to see their figures. This made me stop and think. Over the last few years I watched a guy forging a new career in singing and songwriting. I saw him ask (begging maybe harsh) for people to download his You Tube clip so that he could afford a follow up single for his loyal and faithful fans. This song made us excited and proud that we too could be out, and we all be, whatever boy he was. Yes, even Australians.  So I looked him up - he has thousands and thousands of followers, and he is following about 300!   I then randomly searched for names of 'stars' or, are they 'divas', of song and screen.  Combined they have millions and millions of followers and yet they follow very few.  The leader of one of the major churches has 4.5 million followers and yet follows 8.  Strangely the followers appear to be in the same building and a majority of them carry his name in one form or the other.

This just made me think.  Where would these people be without the followers.  Without the followers, would they be walking the red carpets of the world.  Would they be demanding a King's ransom for their next movie or recording deal?  Would they be able to holiday in their summer palaces without the followers pouring their hard earned money into the collection plates?  Not for one minute am I envious of these people nor, do I doubt the great works that some do.  Nor do I doubt, the day in day out struggle, of selling their talents to the public in their formative years.  I am simply asking the question, do these people give thanks, and follow their followers, giving them thanks for establishing their chosen journey?  Looking at those figures, I wonder! 

I just realize, though my life is filled and I have experienced plenty,  I still must give thanks, and meaningful gratitude, to those who have helped me on my journey, past and in the future.

You probably realize by now that I am truly into music. I reflect on it. It gives me joy. It lifts and makes me mellow.  Therefore, the song Grateful that I found on You Tube.  I had never heard before, I don't even know if it is affiliated with a church.  All I know is that in the credits it states that it is a love song for the world.  After hearing I truly felt like one of the world.  Listen and let me know.

Today, I conclude with I believe that we should strive to give thanks, and be grateful,  to those who follow us on our journey.  For when I close my eyes, and face my maker, I want to be welcomed in to party.  I don't want to be asked did I give thanks and follow others. The day I close my eyes, I don't want my maker to say your faithful followers are inside, but unfortunately, there is no room in the Inn for you.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

 Grateful - Nimo Patel & Daniel Nahmod

I Love You More! #love #passion #nurture #caring

We all get tied up with the everyday humdrum of our lives.  We have people to see, places to go, careers to build, family and friends to care for! But, do we take for granted the person we fell in love with? It is easy to take them for granted - that they know you love them, deeply, passionately and with a forever kind of love. I know I fall short in this department.  We take it for granted that they just know.

 Just as children need nurturing, a gentle touch, and encouragement to grow into a caring, loving and compassionate human beings, so does the love that we share with our partners.  Like the roses we grow, the pets we have, they all need attention to detail to make sure they develop to their greatest potential.
Even as adults, we flourish and grow with the nurturing of love. We can't just feed it once or twice and expect it to grow without some attention. We need add some fertilizer for the soul. We really do keep growing till our last breath.
 
I know I love my man. I know that when we are apart it is like walking on one foot. I am not whole when he is not around. I think of his funny little ways, his funny little lingo, our mutual funny little lingo.  I miss the looks he gives (Ok some I don't miss!) but I do miss those quirky glances, those off beat nuances, those little expressions of love. Things we take for granted until they are not there.

As Bette Midler sings, 'We all have memories of loves and lives of people' and 'things we have affection for them all' but, 'inside we love the person we are with more'.  We don't lose those memories good or bad but, this person is our constant.  Therefore, I really have to give, touch, feel and express my love more often.  Don't expect him to be a mind reader that the love is still there.

It is quite easy to assume but, sometimes we look around and wonder why that person has gone. Why that person couldn't see I was busy?  Did my lover not know I have my career? Couldn't  he/she keep up to my pace?  I am a loving caring guy and I have to spread my caring beyond our doors. I have family and friends, didn't he/she see that?

You can throw a dog a bone, but does that mean you are his best friend? No, that dog needs a gentle pat, some grooming, a walk in the park, someone to have a little play and above all acknowledge that they are there.

Yes, we all get busy with the daily grind! But, unless we take them by the hand, say, 'I love you,' thank them for being there,and enjoy some 'one on one' with them, one day we may find they have not followed.  So what we need is to do, is tell them often, that no one compares and I love you more.

Now I have to go and speak our lingo and tap him 3 times, give him a hug to remind him 'I love you'.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz  

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

  In My Life - Bette Midler

Call Me! #manners #communication #phone

How easy is it to pick up your phone and text, leave a message on someones message bank, to give others the knowledge and security that you are ok.  

Yes, we all get busy! But, being busy is a poor excuse not to just text those close to you and let them know that you are alright. After all we live in the age of instant communication and it has never been so easy to keep in touch. Don't let loved ones think, and stew, that you are not answering calls because you have been hit by a bus or something. And they in turn must learn to do the same for you.  
Not all of us have logical minds and just say, 'Oh they're ok. They are just busy!' The old adage of 'bad news travels fast' does not sit well with some of us and our overactive minds need to be set at rest so we can go about business as usual.  

As Blondie sang - 'Call Me' - any day and any time!  With silent modes on phones, a message need not disturb and it can be picked up when they are free! Then, if they too are a bit of a worry wart, they will be assured all is well in your neck of the woods.

How many times have I heard mother's crying they were worried about their kids not calling?  How many times have partners been worried that their better half has been involved in a car accident? All you need is a short text, 'Held up, be home soon!'  That is all it takes! 

Simple! I know and I have been guilty of not picking up the phone and doing the same to my nearest and dearest. It soothes their minds and they don't need to wonder what they are going to wear to the funeral. Should I arrange the flowers? Should I get in more food for the mourning visitors? These thoughts go through our minds because we care, not because we are morbid. We just care enough to feel deeply worried and concerned for their wellbeing. Sounds dramatic I know, but anxiety does strange things to even the calmest of people.

I travel quite a lot and I try to let my closest know I have arrived, am going sightseeing now or will be in a meeting for a while so they don't worry. I drop in the time zone too so they may be aware that my sleeping time is different to theirs.

counseling.ucr.edu

To the kids out there, let your folks know that your held up at the mall with your friends. It puts their minds at rest that you are safe. Texts are cheap and let's face it, a few words of - 'K! Just having a bit more time!' - can prevent a long face and having to face the tongue lashing when you get home. This applies to the big kids too. Sure beats the hell out of being confronted with divorce proceedings when you finally drive into the garage.  

It all comes down to respect, (no I won't go on with another song title) and caring for those around us.  It is not all about 'me'.  We must consider that others have feelings, thoughts and concerns for their  loved ones.  

Take a few seconds out of your time and communicate.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

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Everything Old is New Again #family #nurturing #grandparents

A couple of days ago, I was talking to friends of mine who are having troubles financially, and physically, balancing their schedules, finances, and family, with their heavy work loads. They are above the income threshold for childcare assistance.

They are indeed fortunate that their earning capacity is high. However, they still find it difficult to save, to spend time with their immediate family, and their extended family of parents.  They juggle their work commitments so they can pick up, and drop off, kids to

daycare.  When they are finally home, they run out of steam!  The projects at home are influenced by money, and commitments to both their children, and their respective parents.  Quite often, leaving them the drudgery of the general running of the household and day to day maintenance ie. cooking, cleaning, mowing, ironing etc.  All these things need to be done but, there is very little time spent doing things that give them pleasure as a family and indeed, as a couple.  

Firstly, I asked of them were their parents active? Do they get along well with their parents? Do the children enjoy the grandparent's company?  Do the grandparents live within close proximity to work or home?  The above boxes were ticked with a favourable- Yes!

Ok, I am gay and have no children to pick up and drop off and I realize that not all families do have all boxes ticked, like this couple.  But, to me an obvious question is, 'Why don't they utilize at least one of the problems they are having trouble to organize?'  The problem that is giving their parents quality time with the grandchildren and, indeed allowing themselves time that is not so rushed with their own parents.  

I think from time to time, we think that parents are beyond their use by dates! Maybe, we think that they deserve their time alone - this is their time!  So, why do you hear parents complaining that they never or hardly ever get to see their kids and grandkids?  It is a discussion every time you enter the waiting rooms of doctors surgeries.  Quite honestly, I feel sometimes these people go to the doctor so frequently because it is an outing.  Seems to be, there is nothing they need to be home for. Slanted and judgemental I know, but my pool man who is 75 says its like God's waiting room.  He says all he and his wife have to think of is their food and then go to the doctor to see what may affect them after eating it.  

Yes I am extreme, but, taking on board what my old friend  the pool man has said, and what this couple have discussed, I see a simple solution to their dilemma that may be rewarding both financially and physically.  

Yes children learn a lot from day care etcetera but, they will certainly learn from these elderly statesmen and women as well.  I believe the oldies have a lot to offer, and in turn, the children can teach these old dogs new tricks as well.  A learning curve that is beneficial to all concerned.  Most of these statesmen and women are conquering social media through necessity to keep in touch, and who better, than the younger generation to help them - these children who seem to have been born with a keypad in their grip. And these older citizens who were environmentally friendly before the word became a key phrase and catch cry can give some knowledge how to sew a hem; fix a button; build a kite; how to grow your own vegies; make the best God damn apple pie out of nothing!  And have never had to open Google to do so.

The children's parents benefit too, financially and physically! They don't need to run like mad hatters fitting in to schedules and closing times. They get to see their parents for longer when they pick up the kids or the grandparents drop them home. Thus leaving them more time for things they want to do on their precious weekends.

To me it is a win/win.  If you are confident with the grandparents and the grandparents are confident with the arrangements just go for it. Life will become much better, and who knows, your kids may teach you how to make the best God damn apple pie there is.

My thoughts!

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
 

Everything Old is New Again - Peter Allen

I Honestly Love You! #love #samesexlove #relationships

You know we see these texts from time to time and they make us feel all gooey and romantic inside. We read them and feel that love is alive and well. 

Two people madly in love with each other that they can't wait to be back in each others arms.  I have read, that some miss their partner so much. that they can't  even sleep in the bed while their loved one is away.  They want to spend that forever with their partner and, being without them for even the shortest of times, can be their loneliest. Also, some who lose their partner through death, go through months, and sometimes their life, not sleeping in the bed they shared.  Extreme maybe, but all of us cope with grief and separation in different ways.  But we mourne our loss, our separations the best way we can.

Love is very powerful. Yes we all vow the eternal, forever, kind of love.  But in the present, we need our partner, our source of strength with us.  Not many of us can deny the tears we shed at airports when someone close is leaving us.

Love is an extreme gift.  No one can quantify it, fully describe it, but nearly all find it.  When we do there are no barriers for our love.  The bond and the individualised feeling, are shared by two. Yes sometimes, there can be complications for the love we share. But those barriers are not from within our hearts. Those barriers are from those that maybe, do not understand the depths that love brings.

Maybe, those people have not felt a love, that has no barriers.  Maybe, those people need a book of guide lines as to how to love.  Maybe, those people believe that each person's love is the same as the next and copied.  Maybe, those people have that book at hand and can wipe their loss, their separation their anxiety to cope, because after all to them, love is something taught, and is not, something that comes from within.

Yes, I believe that love is as individual as the morning sun.  It filters in different ways and each of us see that sun from different angles, from different perspectives.  But, sure as the sun rises, we all feel that glow, but each and everyone of us will describe it in a different way.  Yes, we may say it as it has been written before, but we feel, we experience, we need that warmth.

That warmth is felt by everyone on this planet and unless we block that warmth, and that glow, we of all nations, religion, colour and sexuality can and should have the right to experience the warmth the individualised pleasure that warms our hearts and our souls.

Feelings and love are not things that can be learned.  They come from within.  We can take advice and solace in how others have felt from the past by books of wisdom but this love, this sun is internal and only we know how that it affects us.

The text message at the beginning was from two guys who have been parted for whatever reason. But that love, that feeling of love can not, and should not, be seen as exclusive for people of the opposite sex.  Each love is as different as we feel the sun rising.

Don't let the rose die on the vine because of what has been written in the past.  Create your future.  To say I honestly love you is your feeling, your life blood.  Don't let gender, race, or colour, slant yours or anyone elses true love.

As the song goes, 'I'm a man like any other man, Unlike any other man.' 

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

 I Honestly Love You - The Boy from Oz - Hugh Jackman & Jarrod Emick

Gay Male or Mere Male???? #gay #domesticgoddess #helpinghand

Today I am asking, 'Are some of the ridiculously dumb things we do inherent because we are gay,  because we are male, or are they not particularly gender related and just plain silly?'

In the advent of friends and relations dropping in this week due to a family gathering for a celebration of a life well lived, my dear partner decided to get out of the kitchen for a while.  And, assume my position as vacuum maid.

He was doing really well for someone without the experience I possess.  Despite the subtle hints of 'Did you move the couch?'  'Did you dust before you did the floor?'  'Don't bump our treasures on the stairs!'  He had seemed to have acquired my skills simply through observation, and I was impressed!  Especially impressed that he did not back chat me with my questions.  Having seen his mastering of such a riveting and very prestigious position in the House of Lords, I was contemplating upping his rank to Domestic Welfare Minister.

This all took a very sour turn for the worse!  Again, I was so impressed that he passed me with the dust canister to dispose of the sins of a few days grime to the refuse. That he cleaned the filter - I had not even known he had observed that skill ever!   This is when I walked to the garden to see my beloved, hosing the life out of my trusted steed named Hoover.  Before I could say 'What the?' he had immersed motor and all in a bucket, and was cleaning madly to make it look brand spanking new. You see, I have learned that yelling is of no consequence to a deaf man, and worse, when he removes his cochlear when playing in water.  However he has learned the facial expressions of the Ice Queen, and immediately looked me in the eye for a compliment of how great of a job he had done.  He knows that if he plays the innocent hand, he may win the trick.

So after a few 'How could you?  'Why did you?'  'Whenever did you see me do?' You figure as you throw trusted hoover in the bin, and you explain the consequences of water and electricity, that sometimes explanations and  job descriptions should be initiated before you hand the reins over.

Are these things avoidable?  Are they a gay thing?  Are they merely a male thing where we assume we know everything?

In my venting to my best friend of today's occurrences, she reminded me of my romantic night where I lit candles too close to an electrical cable.  She reminded me of the time when a cyclone was approaching with huge force. She had said, 'Immerse some of your outside stuff that could take flight into the pool.'  I did of course, do what she had advised! But did she explain to me what stuff?  No!!!! She assumed I knew what went in and what did not! Not once did she believe I would submerge the BBQ and my potted plants.  Of which, the BBQ and the plants died a death owing to it being a salt water pool.  Rust and a salt bath do not bring joy to foliage nor wrought iron, nor I may add to my pool man's face when he rocks up on his weekly visit to clean the pool.

No, I don't believe it is just a gay or male thing.  Come on fess up!  We all do silly things from time to time.  It is not a male nor gay thing.  It is not a female thing.  It is not a thing of children.

It is that, we often take others for granted, that they have followed our lead.  It is that, often we don't ask the experienced of what to do next.  It is often that children do what their parents have done in the past and not realized the times, nor the situation, that they were in at the time. For example the child grows up, sets up house, invites the parents over for dinner.  The mother sees the child prepare the lamb roast.  Having watched the mother for years the new adult cuts the hock from the lamb throws it out to the dog.  The mother onlooking, says to the child, 'Why did you cut off the hock and throw to the dog? It is the best meat.'  The child turns to the mother and says, 'I have watched you do that all my life, so I did what you did.'  The mother replied. 'I only did that because my baking dish was to small to fit it all in!'

This is where, none of us, do silly things because of a gender nor age.  We simply do it, because we lack the knowledge.  We don't ask questions.  We assume too much.  We don't open ourselves, to show others, that we need support.  We don't take time to explain fully to others that are learning.  Put simply, we need to communicate! 

Therefore we all must learn to communicate, offer help, accept constructive advice, and return it with a thank-you, you saved my life.

Now we are off to the electrical store to purchase a water-proof vacuum cleaner.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

techno.com.my

What do YOU WANT me to be when I grow up?? #dreams #nurture #aspirations #expectations

A young man performs at his school concert.  His parents had work commitments so were unable to attend.  The young man had preened his skills at home in front of the mirror had sung into anything that had resembled a microphone.  He had attended all the rehearsals, honed his skill, a skill that he believed was waiting in the wings to be discovered.  Yes, this young man was great academic student, and his parents wanted nothing, but for him to follow their footsteps into that respectable, ever secure, ever stable, professional career of medicine.

This young man is  great at his study and, is indeed gifted, but he wants something more.  He has a passion, and that passion is music.  He wants to heal people - yes! But, he wants to heal people's hearts through music, through his lyrics.  Not the traditional medicine, but prescribing love through his words and his warm tones.

I digress! Anyway, the young man performed his songs, received many accolades from his peers and teachers.  Backstage, one of the parents congratulated him for his talents and handed him his business card and said, 'Contact me, I would like to hear more from you.'  That father was a record producer. The young man did not know this man from Adam, but when home he Googled and indeed, found this man was a great producer and could maybe guide him with his passion.

When the parents arrived home from their surgeries, he was so excited! He handed them the business card and was so thrilled to have been noticed for something he wanted.  The parents shrugged and said, 'We don't know him!'  They threw the card, along with his excitement, on the bench with all the other correspondence that one day they would get around to, and said, 'Don't forget that science paper for tomorrow. Good night!' And, went to bed.

How many of us, have not taken the time, to respond positively to someone else's excitement.  How many of us shrug, and toss others dreams and desires, to the wind! Forget we once had dreams too!  How many of us remember that we were not encouraged to take a chance, a risk, a step to stray from the 'norm' ? How many of us live with the regret, that we did not receive accolades and encouragement, to pursue dreams that are hidden along with all the unanswered correspondence.

It is easier to not get involved! Easier to keep our dreams buried, and not get hurt with the lost dreams of our past.  It is easier for the nine to five to bring home the bacon, when only few achieve the whole pig on the spit.

This is where we as parents, as partners, as lovers, as friends and  past dreamers need to nurture to encourage talents of those around us.

Yes, we need to care!  We need to take part in the joys and hopes that others have.  God knows, we too may enjoy their journey as well.  Help them discover and to conquer doubt.  Sometimes, our job must be to help ground them a little on their journey, but never discourage their abilities to achieve their life  goals.  For none of us, is it too late to change course! To re-visit our dreams and start afresh! 

Don't let this young man's dreams, be extinguished. Who knows you may need a doctor one day! You may get the most highly qualified doctor who has no passion nor compassion and no caring and encouraging  beside manner.
 
Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

 You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban

You and Me against the World #acceptance #celebration #living

By the end of this you may think that it is an infomercial for Paul Williams, Joe Raposo and the Muppets. Their lyrics help me to reflect, to draw strength, to inspire and to believe.

In the next few days we, my partner and myself, will join the celebration of life for my great uncle.
A man who was loved, and cherished, by anyone who had the pleasure of meeting him.

In readiness for the celebration you recall his goodness and, as with all such occasions, many tears of joy and sadness emerge.  These are times when you draw on the people especially your partner to be big and 'strong and looking out for you'.  A time when you can simply feel the touch, draw strength from that arm around you.  Above all, not feel it is 'you and me against the world'.

You want to be 'green' and blend in with the establishment. Know that no one sees you as anything but the 'evergreen' tributes that sit before the alter.

On these occasions and many other occasions you don't necessarily want to be seen as the 'rainbow connection' to this great man.  You want to be seen as his family someone who is seen by your character not by your sexuality.  Someone who has depth, someone who cares, someone who has a love and is as committed to that love, as the ones around you.

We all draw strength from those around us. We all say how wonderful that husband was holding his wife's hand through the eulogy.  We see that as normal as the sun to our lives.  We see that sun peeking out of the clouds, gives us strength on those  'rainy days and Mondays'. Gives us warmth to 'see it through.'

As gay guys we need to be seen as normal human beings just like the rest of the world.  We long for our 'voice be one and the same'.  We long to be seen as 'something that we are supposed to be.' We long that we are 'more than visions not only illusions and have nothing to hide.'

For most of us, I believe, we want to be seen as equal as those that have fought the civil rites, and the women's rites movements before us.  We want to be seen as a huge melting pot of ideas, ideals with unity, and be the colour of Spring , a new beginning, a landscape of combined beauty.

This day is coming closer, but till then I ask, that all think how they would feel if they were in our shoes.  Do we need others to 'turn their back and walk away' and when your frightened by the clown need someone lookin' out for you.'

Of course we do!   I believe that 'SOONDAY we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers the dreamers and me.'

God bless you Uncle Lance, and may we someday meet again in Paradise.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

You And Me Against The World - Helen Reddy & Kermit - Muppet Show

What a Wonderful World #gardening #flowers #joy

Being Saturday, and having had a big week, I decided it was time to do to do some of the things I like to do. My pleasures are simple but, I love music, singing and gardening.  So today, I thought was, me time! I would get into the garden and do some long overdue pruning, weeding and replanting.
 
Life can be rather hectic but, I knew it needed attention. So firstly I raced to the nursery bought some new seedlings then hurried back for some me time.  Got home, dressed in my jungle gear, grabbed my headsets, iPhone, and trusty secateurs and vigorously assaulted the wilderness, I call my garden. 

I believe that we all need, and should encourage others, to just have some down time, simply to enjoy the things that we want.  It can be vigorous or, it can simply be just reading the novel that you don't get time to read, in the hurried world.  Whatever floats your boat, go for it!
 
I find my solitude in the garden! I turn up the volume in the headset, listen to some stuff that no one else wants to hear, and transform everything back to the way I like it.  I find it a way of re-charging my batteries and by the end, I am definitely singing 'What a Wonderful World'.  And hopefully, haven't annoyed the neighbours with my rendition!
 
Whether it be gardening, playing the piano, painting or reading a book, I feel we all need down time. We race around trying to please everyone else, and it's time we please ourselves for a little while. Gardening for me gives me a little workout, a little thinking time, and a little bit of sunshine which I love. Piano and reading can float you to a world of escapism for those times where you don't want, or need, to think of the harsh realities that the world will bring, once you step from your little sanctuary of choice.
 
The old saying -'You must stop and smell the roses' - when done, really does put your life back into perspective. Even if, only for your time of the escape! 

Trust me, do it, and don't feel guilty for that little time of selfishness. We all need it!  Yes, your thoughts will go back and forth of the things that are worrying, or need your attention, but somehow time out brings it all together. It gives some grounding for what you are going back to. And, the end of the day everything will seem much clearer and give you strength.

Pre-warn your family that you are having time to yourself. Encourage them to do the same from time to time, so they too, may learn to cope with what the world serves us.  God knows they will love you more for your honesty, and that. you return to them with a renewed gusto and positive thoughts and they too may sing 'What a wonderful world.'
 
Cheers!

Bitches Coz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
 

Rainy Days and Mondays #ambition #drive #foundations #dreams

Anyone for a ride?

It seems as if it was in the dark ages now, but Richard Carpenter wrote 'Rainy Days and Mondays'.  Today with the rain, and things not happening at the rate that this impatient Aquarian likes, it was one of those days indeed.

Rain bucketing, and fueling my already morbid and miserable day, I decided not to let this weather coax me into a state of impatience and negative thoughts. So, I decided to forge my way, gung-ho into a positive plan.

This plan of action, quite honestly, can be a tad annoying for those around me as I channel my negatives, to an irritating (ok bloody annoying) attempt to achieve my life time goals in one day.  I research, I Google thoughts. I annoy my partner with seemingly endless articles of how to achieve goals, and spread them around the normally very tidy abode.  I call friends (one in particular) to discuss my goals, to gather their/her thoughts as to how I can have it all done in one day and meanwhile, set up house in the castle of my dreams in Venice.  TODAY - NOW.

After their  soothing thoughts, of less exuberance, such as 'Rome wasn't built in a day' and, 'Baby steps Honey', I decide to reject these offers of suggestion and carry through my dreams alone.

However, despite all my attempts to channel my thoughts alone, I  kept hitting a brick wall.  Building Rome in one day was fast becoming  a delusion, as was getting my laundry dry on the outside clothesline in the rain.  My dream castle was fast crumbling into the Grand Canal in Venice.

Before the tide covers the roof of my castle,  I must change course.  I must change gears and go for plan B.  I must achieve the goals I can for this day, not change the course of my life in one swoop!  Firstly, I must remove the sodden clothes from the line,  throw them in the dryer or my partner won't have ironing to do tonight.  God forbid, I may have to do it when he is occupied with other things of his own,  rather than tidying the hoards of paper I have set out everywhere.

I have to look at what I have achieved so far.  I have to look at the things I can achieve today before the sun sets (or is that rain sets). In looking at what I can do today, I can see because of the rain, that it will surely be better to pour the foundation for my dreams in better weather. Rather than setting them on the  wet and soggy soil of Rome, only to have them collapse in the few short years to come.  No, I am not going to take baby steps but, I will make sure I take footed steps today to achieve my goals.

Yes, we all have dreams we would love to achieve in a short time, but maybe my advice givers were right?  Count our blessings!  Move  sure footed!  Yes, the rains will come to halt our progress, but they make us think more.  They make us think, 'Do we want our dreams to be short lived?'  Of course not!  We want our dreams to stand proud and tall for years to come like the grandeur of Rome.  We need our castles in Venice to withstand the tides and the rising damp.

Yes, we must have dreams but we must not beat ourselves (he he and others) up when we have a deluge of inclement weather.

When the rain clears we will notice that indeed those 'Rainy days and Mondays'  will bring growth and a  bounty that has vigorous and long lasting wonder.

Now, I must go apologise to my partner and my friends,

Cheers!

Bitchescoz 

 Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

My Castle in Venice

Are Caregivers Harmful? #frailty #disability #relationships

Today, I ask you - have you ever asked for some advice how to do something, and suddenly found that the whole thing has been taken over, as if you are a complete moron.

For me it's like asking someone with greater knowledge than me, how to open an application on the computer with which I am having difficulty.  Yes, I know my way around the keyboard. (I have been doing it forever it seems.) Yes, I can touch type with my eyes closed.  All I am asking for, is to be shown how to do it.  Next thing,  I am off making a cup of tea for them - pouring myself a strong drink while they browse my server with such ease. And yes, they have opened the application and downloaded the data that I wanted. Then, before I have time to take in the knowledge that they have never let me learn hands on, I find, times up! They have drunk their tea, and exited the door before I get to know how to do it, for the next time.  They leave happy with themselves that they have helped this wretched feeble person with such an easy to do, task.  (This care giver, gave this help before his tea got cold and, my drink was barely to my mouth - all with two finger typing.) Now that, is caring!  

communities.acs.org

My question here is, 'How often do we take on the role of care giver to our parents, the elderly, the children, our partners, and the disabled without acknowledging their dignity, their prior skills, or their learning capacity.  I know I have been guilty. (Guess my computer carer, helped me to open the 'karma' app to my soul.)  We have all given our time to others but, have we really helped? Or, have we simply shown them, that they are totally inadequate, that they are the feeble moron of which I spoke earlier. Well, we have achieved what they wanted and exited, feeling proud of a job well done.

This is where we should think before we leap.  Is the person we are helping, asking for you to take over? Or, are they merely asking for a little help, a little of your experience, a little wisdom to make their job easier or some reassurance that they can do it?

How often are we asked by the aged to show them where they sign a form?  How many times are we asked to explain a question on a child's homework?  How many times does our partner ask us show them where the TV remote is?  How many times has a disabled person asked you to simplify their situation?  

I know what my answer is owing to having the patience of bull.  My parents will ask me where to sign the form. Next thing,I am filling the whole thing out.  My partner has asked where the remote is and, instead of saying behind the books on the coffee table, I have raced over, grabbed it, asked him what station he wants to watch and, changed the channel.  My partner, who is also deaf and Chinese will have asked me to simplify the English of a manual, that was originally written in Chinese, and subsequently translated to English. Then, there I am, operating the implement I never even wanted to use in the first place.  Am I the carer?  No, I have simply taken their dignity away from them.  I have tried to be time efficient.  All this caring, and trying to simplify their life, but I have not allowed them take control of their own lives.  

These people, I might add, have raised children, worked for a million years, have found their way in their quiet world in the streets of Penang and Hong Kong. They have learned to deal with life's journey and still had time to pat themselves on the back for a job well done. I have done nothing but exaggerate their shortcomings by my sense of caring.  

Put simply, I say to you, 'When someone asks for help, examine what they really need. Don't give them a sense of their frailty. Yes, do it all for them, if they give you permission to do so.  But, remember like me and the computer carer, they need to retain their dignity and their sense of achievement.  

Think first then offer.

kidsmatter.edu.au

Cheers

Bitchescoz 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

A Life Well Lived #abuse #bullying #discrimination

Today, in Australia, they handed out the Queen's Birthday honours. The recipients of such honours have served their communities, their country, their cause with great dedication and diligence.And, in no way do I mean to detract from the good works that these people do.  But, there are many people in all walks of life that dedicate themselves just as diligently to their jobs, their communities and causes. They do not do this because they want accolades. They simply do it because they want to. Maybe, it is time that we give these everyday Joe's some recognition. After all, many of those who appear in these Honours Lists are already handsomely rewarded for  the work they do. So what is it that makes them more qualified than the average citizen? Do these people live a life well lived? They certainly do!

However, to live a life well lived, we do not have to spend our life doing good deeds. There are billions of people world wide who live good lives, caring for their families and friends. They are good world citizens making sure they do the right thing by the environment and the world in general. They are made up of people of all colour and creed. They are made up of single people, couples- heterosexual and homosexual, the disabled, the young and the old. There is no discrimination in those who live a life well lived.

But discrimination is alive and well, as some sectors of society, and members of family, choose to bully, vilify and victimize those who a deemed as 'different'. Rather than value them for their uniqueness and contribution, they choose to try to make them conform. Just because they live differently, or have different needs and wants, does not mean they do not live, a life well lived - that they do not make very valuable contributions to the richness of the family structure and society in general. What is it that makes society so fearful of 'different'? Why is it that even today, there is still a fear (very real I might add) of rejection when a person chooses to 'come out' and tell their family of their sexual orientation. What makes a family reject their beloved son or daughter simply because of their sexuality? They are not a different person to the one they were, before they 'came out'. They still do all the same things as everyone else. They still study. They still go to work. They still fall in love. They still want a family. The very essence of these wants and needs, mean that they live a life, well lived.

If we are going to judge how to define a life well lived, we would do well to look past the veneer that these 'respectable' citizens of the world present to society. We should look past the power, the trappings of wealth, and the apparent perfect family, to see if these people really do qualify for the honour of a life well lived. I believe, that those they choose to denigrate, deserve the honour far more. Simply because they live their lives true to themselves, and treat others with the utmost respect, all the while dealing with the bigotry, manipulation, and animosity that is dished their way each day.

Worldwide, things are slowly changing for the LGBTI community. After all, there is a transexual playing in the Brazilian soccer team, fully supported by his team mates. However, the very fact that he has made headlines worldwide means he isn't considered as simply a person by at least the media of the world. I am sure he lives a life well lived! But, those who think they are the pillars of society choose to comment on this man as if he is a freak show. He is the same as you and me - he is a person. A talented one, I grant you that! Maybe, if he lived in Australia, he might get to receive a Queen's Birthday Honour for his services to sport. But I doubt it! Those in power would make sure that he was buried in some back office while they take all of the glory for his deeds.

Those who choose to manipulate, and bully, those who are 'different' certainly do not qualify for a life lived well. It is far more important to treat those around you with comfort and kindness, whatever their 'difference'. Maybe, we should start a National Bully Register!!! That way those who perpetrate such acts could be punished by making sure they NEVER receive such accolades.That they are unable to hide behind the veneer of society. I would love to scream to the world - these people are dysfunctional parents. Please do not give them credit for a life well lived because on that score they fail.

So how do we define "a life well lived"? Is it a definition owned by the elderly? I think not! Just because someone is old does not mean they necessarily qualify. Is it a definition owned by the rich? Certainly not! Oh yes, they try to buy it, but actions speak louder than words and the result is Epic Fail. Is it a definition owned by community? Maybe! At least community means there is a generosity of spirit as those who are self centered simply do not involve themselves. Is it a definition owned by individuals? Most definitely! At least that way we can weed out those who do not live a life well lived even though they pretend too!

So whether you are a member of the pack, or an individual that is different, try to truly live a life well lived. Be generous of spirit, leave your judgemental gene in your jeans and treat others the way you think you deserve to be treated.

Just then you might qualify for a life well lived!

Cheers!

Bitches Coz!

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Heading in the Right Direction #love #inspiration #appreciation

Keeping up appearances is something we all do.  When we are going for the big night out - the dinner; the job interview to impress; the power meeting to sell our wares; the school and University reunions - we want to look our best.  For these times we preen, fluff, change our clothes a million times, (ok that maybe a gay thing) check the mirror to see if we will impress.

When we are at home or among friends, family and loved ones, we tend to let our guard down, chill a little, let them see us warts and all.  We tend to blend in with the furniture and our loved ones tend to be as comfy as the warm throw on the couch.  We use this comfort to keep us warm and snuggly, and feel safe, knowing that it's always there when we need it.
 

The lyricist and jazz great, Renee Geyer, wrote and sang 'Am I heading in the right direction for your loving  and affection?'  She also said, 'Day to day, I hope and pray, that this feeling is really going to grow!' So, I guess we do have to do a few things to keep it growing.  Like that little pot of glorious colour that we take for granted sitting by our front porch. It needs water, some added nutrient, and some gentle nurturing to keep it alive, and blooming, for years to come.  It's lovely to see it there! It's easy to take for granted that, it will always be there. However, we need to give it some attention, not just use it as a lovely background for our happy pics for our photo album.  We need to bring it inside every so often - show it off a little, not just leave it outside and walk past it.  Put it slap, right bang in the middle of our dining table! Show those around you and bring its glory into the lives of others. Talk to it, say 'God you look ravishing!' (Oh God I sound like Prince Charles talking to nature or, is that Princess Luke?)

I guess, what I am saying here is, it's nice to feel all warm, cozy and contented, knowing that our loved ones are there, and we don't need to impress.  But, just as we dress to impress for the big occasions, we have to preen ourselves a little every now and again, to let others feel that they are as high on the agenda as that big job interview. They are our life blood. They are important to us. They need to know that we care! That we will go out of our way to show them how much we love them and, appreciate them in our lives.
So, cook up a storm! Invite friends and family over, pick a few flowers from your garden, and say 'Thanks' every so often.  Rub your partner on the shoulder and say thanks and I love you.  Home make your child's birthday cake (even if it doesn't look a bit like the Jamie Oliver original).  Show them you care and that they are special in your life.  Send a few random texts to your friends and let them know you are thinking of them.

These are my thoughts and if I give of myself a little, it has a domino effect and encourages them to do the same and then we will be 'Heading in the Right Direction.'

Cheers!

Bitches Coz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com