A little while back, I wrote of a friend of mine and his stressful
relationship with his mother. I asked if anyone could give advice of how to
help him with his dilemma. I passed the advice and information from your emails
on to him. Thank you!
After
discussions with his new found helpers, they established that he should distance his
contact with her. For the most part, all was going well apart from her
abusive texts, and her usual undermining of him to family and friends,
but he rose above it all and was going along quite well.
Inevitably
a family function had to be attended. He hummed and haa'd as to whether he should
go, or not ,but decided he had nothing to hide so he would attend. This
reunion was to be difficult for him, but I know sometimes you need to
bite the bullet. I advised him to play it cool and just be nice. Hopefully the evening would go without incident and he would stay his
dignity, which he has always kept, intact!
Sure
enough the woman ,in her evil plot, had readied herself for the kill.
The minute he arrived she told everyone of the prodigal sons return! Of
how she had been neglected, and shunned, after everything she had ever
done for him. The 'everything' that she had done, was that of any normal
parent - clothe, educate and feed him as a child. She failed to talk of her
manipulation, her torment, her unending assassination of his character
over the years. She also failed to admit that even after all of this,
he stood tall and accepted her abuse publicly and personally. Never did
he once denounce her and her evil, embarrassing her like she so often
did to him.
I am proud that my friend
kept his cool throughout the evening. I am proud that my friend did
not dip into the gene pool and retaliate in the matriarchal way. I am
proud that my friend left in a dignified manner! Even after she had
publicly stated that his love had been payed for in full through her
expenditure on him from birth. Sometimes
I feel that no matter how often you turn the cheek and turn back with
love, there is a time for you to walk away. Don't look back. Refuse to
be someone who others can wipe their feet on. Let it Go.
My
friend and many others have endured this humiliation, this abuse. This
form of abuse, though not physical, is something from which you must escape,
despite the costs. No one should endure physical or emotional beatings.
No tie, family, friend or lover should have to succumb to this.
We
intend to stand beside my friend through the emotion, the mourning of
his family loss. Any member of his family that allows this to happen to a
fellow human being, is not worthy to be in his presence. We will help
him through his loss. Help him to rebuild a life that is compete
without the abuse that he has become so used to.
If
anyone you know is suffering abuse in any shape or form please stand by
them. Please give them support, as even if they willingly choose to leave this abusive relationship and family situation, they will indeed feel loss, and they will feel a
mourning. Please don't stand back and, say it has nothing to do with
you. Abuse is something that needs to
be stopped. Every person deserves the dignity of respect. Every person
deserves someone to lean on in their times of trouble.
Unless
we reach out and offer help, care, and comfort to those suffering our
lives will be shallow. If we don't offer help we will be as guilty
as my friend's evil mother.
These are
my thoughts. I hope and pray that you too may feel as I do and reach
out and be a shoulder for those more needy than ourselves. Till next
time.
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
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