Punishment, Cardinal Sins #abuse #pedophile #catholicchurch

As you would have read recently, my body copped some punishment from paving. You may also realize by now that I am a sunshine boy and though I appreciate the rain, it gives me a trembling of what is to come.  It gives me a damp shivers that cut deep to my heart and soul.

The last couple of days have rained continually and my sadness builds with every drop that falls. To this day, I am not a lover of sodden clothes.  Along with the sodden clothes, and the punishment that this paving has given my body over the last few days, my mind wanders back to a time where I know I should have been able to enjoy simply being me, without consequence, without fear. 

St Stephens Brisbane (en.wikipedia.org)

My mind wanders to when this young surfer boy with  blue eyes, sun bleached, blonde hair, and brown as a berry skin, was learning to accept his own sexuality and simply being me.  A young Catholic boy attending Catholic schools, attending Catholic rituals and trusting that confession was the correct, and God expected, thing to do.  So, along to the parish priest I would go, expecting forgiveness in readiness for the next sins, and so forth, as all cheeky good boys would do. The priest of the time would accept my confession and deliver my penance.  That penance was to be washing his car.  He had a penchant for shiny chromed wheels.  He would hold the hose pointing and drenching the sinner with water as he inspected his passion.  So not to go home to my parents with sodden clothes they would need to be dried in the dryer while he satisfied another penchant and served his penance.  The sins that I was developing needed to be curbed after all and who better than a man of the cloth to discourage my sins.  Each sin he would proclaim in his words 'punishment time' and my body would learn the wrath of God in a very 'hard' way.  For my initial sin, of admitting who I was, it was recommended that I speak solely to him, on a regular and confidential basis.  Of which this dumb, little surfer boy accepted.  How else without the acceptance of God was I going to exist in this world.

This 'punishment time' went for what seems to have been a life time.  My saviour for my sins was to be going away with his parents for his father to be installed as Governor of a service organization. His advice was not to confess to his replacement but, to wait till his return, for what might be a bulk confession, and forgiveness, in one go.  In his absence there was to be quite a few who would hold back their confessions until his return.  Over the next few weeks a few of us discovered that our sins were familiar and carried the same penalties. Only then did we realize that, maybe they were not the will of God, but man made. Together, with discussion, we decided to meet with the Bishop to get his view on our 'acts of confession'.  He agreed that these were not proper.  He would deal with it.  'Priests were very hard to get,' he said so he would discourage him from his penchant for shiny chrome wheels.

Back then, none of us had any idea of compensation. Not one of us wanted nor needed it. We all came from fairly influential parents so what's money.   All we needed was recognition and comfort for what we appeared to be suffering together.  Suffering from being ourselves. To this day I might add none of us have been comforted by any member of the clergy. On his return from his fathers installation, my confessor confronted me and the others that we had ruined his life.  That we would have embarrassed him to his Superintendent of Police father and Governor of this charity service organization.

His ruination existed for approximately 3 days until he was moved to the chaplain for elderly Catholic care-giving ladies.  Later to be appointed parish priest of a new parish which consisted of a primary school and a boys boarding college.  I guess a buffet of treats awaited for his ruination after all.

About two weeks ago now that same priest was buried with fanfare from the city cathedral, his parish church and a family ceremony.  I would assume that his fanfare was not, as one of the guys in my group's, whose fanfare was from the hands of 3 predators, male prostitution, drugs and AIDS. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones, who accepted my life choices, never went to confession again, believed that my God is a God of love and that these inhumane humans will one day meet a greater penance giver, in their after life.

Yes, this rain brings sadness to me. Yes, my thoughts are not nice of Cardinals, who still have the right to offer nothing, but a lousy bit of money (yes money not compassion) for those who were not as lucky as me.  Yes, my thoughts are angry as to why a man who served his church as a lay music minister in Chicago for 16 years was dismissed because he proposed to his boyfriend.  Yes, my sadness is existent because my church was built on love - not on money, my church was built on equality - not on sexuality.  Yet my church is governed by power, greed, and bigotry.  These cardinals dress in frocks that our worst dressed drag queens would never wear on a Friday or Saturday night. These men need learn that the attendance at the very church, of which they govern, is falling below their hem line rather than just accepting that we all have failings. We all have sin, and together as one, we may build a faith that is built on love and respect for each, and every, human being.  Only then will the flocks come back to the men in frocks.

So my prayer is: 
Please God may the sunshine come out tomorrow, 
May the downpour cleanse and refresh us, 
May it give us hope for a better future, a future that is fueled by love not division.   
May it give us a freedom to be who we are. 
A freedom for the churches to take responsibility for their actions of neglect.  
A freedom to say sorry for the sins of the past and never to repeat.  
And may my prayer give Freedom to forgive and accept those sins of the past. 
Amen. 

Please keep up the emails. Until next time take care, and remember, we are in this together and the sun will come out tomorrow.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

 Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Tomorrow - Annie (Movie)

commons.wikimedia.org

Let It Go! #abuse #caring #love #compassion

A little while back, I wrote of a friend of mine and his stressful relationship with his mother.  I asked if anyone could give advice of how to help him with his dilemma. I passed the advice and information from your emails on to him. Thank you! 

After discussions with his new found helpers, they established that he should distance his contact with her.  For the most part, all was going well apart from her abusive texts, and her usual undermining of him to family and friends, but he rose above it all and was going along quite well. 

Inevitably a family function had to be attended. He hummed and haa'd as to whether he should go, or not ,but decided he had nothing to hide so he would attend. This reunion was to be difficult for him, but I know sometimes you need to bite the bullet. I advised him to play it cool and just be nice.  Hopefully the evening would go without incident and he would stay his dignity, which he has always kept, intact! 

Sure enough the woman ,in her evil plot, had readied herself for the kill.  The minute he arrived she told everyone of the prodigal sons return! Of how she had been neglected, and shunned, after everything she had ever done for him.  The 'everything' that she had done, was that of any normal parent - clothe, educate and feed him as a child.  She failed to talk of her manipulation, her torment, her unending assassination of his character over the years.  She also failed to admit that even after all of this, he stood tall and accepted her abuse publicly and personally.  Never did he once denounce her and her evil, embarrassing her like she so often did to him.  

I am proud that my friend kept his cool throughout the evening.  I am proud that my friend did not dip into the gene pool and retaliate in the matriarchal way.  I am proud that my friend left in a dignified manner! Even after she had publicly stated that his love had been payed for in full through her expenditure on him from birth.  Sometimes I feel that no matter how often you turn the cheek and turn back with love, there is a time for you to walk away.  Don't look back.  Refuse to be someone who others can wipe their feet on.  Let it Go.  

My friend and many others have endured this humiliation, this abuse. This form of abuse, though not physical, is something from which you must escape, despite the costs.  No one should endure physical or emotional beatings.  No tie, family, friend or lover should have to succumb to this.  

We intend to stand beside my friend through the emotion, the mourning of his family loss. Any member of his family that allows this to happen to a fellow human being, is not worthy to be in his presence.  We will help him through his loss. Help him to rebuild a life that is compete without the abuse that he has become so used to.  

If anyone you know is suffering abuse in any shape or form please stand by them.  Please give them support, as even if they willingly choose to leave this abusive relationship and family situation, they will indeed feel loss, and they will feel a mourning.  Please don't stand back and, say it has nothing to do with you. Abuse is something that needs to be stopped. Every person deserves the dignity of respect.  Every person deserves someone to lean on in their times of trouble.  

Unless we reach out and offer help, care, and comfort to those suffering our lives will be shallow.  If we don't offer help we will be as guilty as my friend's evil mother.  

These are my thoughts. I hope and pray that you too may feel as I do and reach out and be a shoulder for those more needy than ourselves. Till next time.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Make Em Laugh! #respect #love #condolences

Today we, the world, lost a dear friend.  Today, we lost someone who always brought a smile back to our faces.  Someone who made us feel better.  Our very own 'Patch Adams' - Mr Robin Williams. May he find the peace he craved!
 

NaNu NaNu - Rest in Peace Dear Friend

Ironic that the man who could light up the world with laughter, was indeed hiding his torment and fears behind his persona.  A successful man, a father, a husband, and one, whom we would presume was well with the world and loved by all.

This illness that took our friend is an illness that is lingering in the corridors, the streets, and indeed in our very own backyards.  An illness that has no quick fix remedy and can strike and wreak havoc on anyone. This illness is not concerned with its victim's colour, race, creed or circumstance.  When it strikes, it not only strikes the victims, but leaves a path of destruction in its wake for those around the affected person and indeed, the world.  The after shocks incurred by this illness, leave people with a loss and mourning that, quite often, is deeper than any other illness.  In most circumstances those around have not had time to prepare for the unthinkable.  This illness strikes quickly, and there can be little, or no warning, to prepare for or indeed stop, this catastrophe.

Quite often these people show no signs of their condition.  Many, many people live with the Black Dog of depression and go about their daily lives with their masks of normality hiding the sadness, the despair and the hopelessness. It appears that often these larrikins use their laughter to hide the most silent of tears behind this veneer, showing to the world, a life that looks pristine and perfect to those around them.

The research scientists for this illness are simple folk.  These scientists are "You & Me".  Each, and everyone of us, have been given the qualifications from the highest education system there is.  Each, and everyone of us, has been given the doctorate at birth of love and compassion from our own God.

We the scientists have a duty to observe, inoculate and heal those who have contracted this most silent of diseases.  Yes our Petri dishes and Beakers may break from time to time but, we cannot stop our duty to heal our fellow man.  We as partners in this fabric of life must break the cycle.  Our observatory skills must be ready at anytime.  Our humble skills need to be there in the form of a shoulder, a smile, an ear, an adviser for those who have succumb to this illness before and after they seek help.

We need this amazing man's passing to be a reminder that each, and everyone of us, has a duty to stop this illness.  We need to turn, in love, to everyone around us.  Depression is constructed in many forms, but you and I have the power to stop this senseless slaughter.  The molecules of bullying, agism, sexism, racism can be cured by the greatest scientists on earth, "You & Me.

You and I must take our oath of office today.  Together we can make a difference.  Together we can administer our prescription of love, care and compassion.

These are my thoughts and I look forward to more comments to my emails.  Until next time, take care.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Make Em Laugh - Donald O'Connor

Reach Out and Touch #caring #compassion #isolation

In the last few days we have witnessed the horror of a plane being shot down, completely destroyed, along with the lives of hundreds of great people.  To the families and friends of those lost, we hold up our prayers for you, and yours, in your time of mourning and for the beyond.Losing someone to wreckage is a very difficult time as you do not have the chance to walk with them through their journey.  You don't have time to plan beyond.  And if there was unrest between you, there is no time for a joint settlement and peace.
 

quotesvalley.com

How easy is it, to be here today and gone tomorrow?  None of us, can afford to leave the opportunity to reach out and touch the lives of others while they are still here. We must offer support and walk with them through their journey.  Not one of us is privy to the time when we will finally close our eyes. Once the window of opportunity has closed, there is no second chance, no second take. This is not a dress rehearsal. What we have, is what we've got!  It takes very little, to show someone care and compassion.  It is so easy to touch someone and show that you are there. It's easy to let others feel the warm breath of comfort.  However, once that chance has gone, there is no turning back the clock.   

Recently, I wrote a post on the blog about following someone, as they follow you, on social media.  I spoke of heads of churches, and aid organizations, having followers by the millions but, these people rarely follow back.  I have spoken of prevention and caring before so, I wrote to one of the agencies that offers help to people with emotional difficulties.  I asked why they don't follow people back.  The answer I received was, they don't have the facilities nor the manning capabilities to follow back.  A fair call I guess! But, I cannot understand why that question could be answered with such haste, while that same person could merely click the follow button on their screen for those people, who actually follow them. The number of emails I received in agreement with my question was amazing.  There were people from all walks of life and personal circumstances, most of whom never needed the services, but nonetheless agreed with what I had said.

This is where I say - that 'follow', that 'like', that 'touch' - may prevent someone from doing something from which they cannot turn back.  That 'follow', that 'like', that 'touch', allows people the thought that someone is there. It allows the people who may be contemplating something life changing, or God forbid, life threatening to realize that these organizations are made up of humans. Caring people, and not robots, who only care for numbers rather than people. People that they are espousing should care for their fellow man.

I said that there were people like myself, who would volunteer to press those 'follow' buttons, so that these people would feel that someone was there with them.  The second response to this comment was that it would be passed on to the appropriate leaders, and they would look into it.

My problem with most people who say, 'We will look into it' are quite often, only looking into a mirror at their own reflection. Obviously, never contemplating the needs of those around them and the benefits, that 'follow', that 'like', that 'touch' may bring.  Quite often these same people only care how much it may effect their work load or their lifestyle.  Yes, it is ok for these people, for when and if the time comes for one of their own, they have myriad's of helpers at their fingertips to help 'their' needy.  God help those, that may have only needed that breath of comfort of knowing, they were being 'followed'.

All I am asking that we who were born naked (not those that were born with that silver spoon) reach out and touch someone else's life, before it is indeed, too late.

Write in more and lets discuss this - maybe together we can encourage others to care more.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com 

Reach out and Touch Somebody - Diana Ross

Shaping a Future! #nurture #frailty #hope #resilience

When we are children we believe that adults are all-knowing, we think they are infallible. We trust them implicitly not knowing they too are simply human beings. It is this trust that makes us vulnerable to their weaknesses, whether their moulding of our minds is intentional or not. Being a parent is not an easy task but it is one of the most important and probably the one role in life for which we are least qualified. This is especially true today where families of one or two is the norm and children grow up isolated from extended families. In the old days just about every child carried a toddler on their hip as they played in the street and so their parenting and nurturing lessons began very early in life.

That is not to say the most nurturing of parents do not have their foibles and weaknesses. We all know fathers who work long hours and spend more time with their work colleagues than their families. There parents who have been to war and find solace in a bottle. Others trapped in very unhappy unions which have devastating consequences for all involved. It is the circumstances of our parents that make us the adult we become. Fear of stepping into the world of business as a result of a childhood of worrying if the bank would fore close on your parents financial interests, thus making you homeless. Having a house full of unfolded washing making you anal about each item of clothing having its place! Seeing your Mother parked in a corner at the rare social gathering you attended, while your father was the life and soul of the party! These may seem trivial now, but in the eyes of a child they become etched into your psyche making you the adult you are today.

Others have much bigger fish to fry! Their childhoods are one of abuse, sometimes in all forms - verbal, emotional, physical and sexual. Many (sadly not all) rise above this to become reasonably well adjusted adults. Though the scars are still there. Many times they are buried deep within, but they are definitely responsible for the adult we become. What gives these parents the right to inflict such misery on the little person in their lives. These parents actually do not have any rights. They have responsibilities in which, they are sadly lacking. But, they lost their rights as parents the minute the abuse began. The fact that these children battle through often in silence is testimony to the resilience of the human spirit. They grow into adults in spite of their parents. Some rise above their circumstances to live good lives, some are irreversibly broken, some take their own lives and others become abusers themselves.

As parents, their is no excuse for the bad treatment of our children. They did not ask to be conceived. They did not ask to be carried in the womb for nine months to be spat out into a life of hell. This life of hell has no class barriers. It is universal across all ares of society - just the rich have more means and resources at their disposal to make sure the claims of abuse never see the light of day.

The innocence of the child is such a thing of beauty that it deserves only to be nourished, to be encouraged, to be explored, to make them into the very best human being that they possibly can be. They need to be given, not only their wings, but the license to fly! They deserve to lead their life, their way. They are not creatures made in our image so we can live our own hopes and dreams through them. Why punish them because they choose a different path?

As adults we are made train for most other tasks we undertake. We are made get a license to drive a car, a qualification for our profession, permits to build houses and the list goes on. But one night of unbridled passion, one time of fumbled sex, one act of rape and a life can be conceived. A life that we as adults will shape without one ounce of experience. Considering that this is the case a lot of adults manage to become reasonable parents, some manage to be great parents and others fail miserably. Governments try their best to protect children, but the system still fails the vulnerable in many cases. A lot has been gained, but their are still many lessons to be learned.

Most importantly, we as family, as community and as a people need to recognize the need for love and nurture does not end with childhood. It is ongoing and lifelong. If we care for, nurture, and show true compassion to all men, especially the vulnerable amongst us, then we will see them heal. We will allow them to fly in the manner they were destined, when they took their first gasp as they were bundled into the world.

Look around you. Do not judge anyone until you have walked in their shoes. Take time to get to truly know your friends. Do not brush aside their vulnerabilities, care for them, nurture them! Believe me - it is one hundred percent worth it. It is definitely a 'pay it forward' situation. Everybody wins!

Cheers

Bitches Coz! 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

What a Wonderful World #gardening #flowers #joy

Being Saturday, and having had a big week, I decided it was time to do to do some of the things I like to do. My pleasures are simple but, I love music, singing and gardening.  So today, I thought was, me time! I would get into the garden and do some long overdue pruning, weeding and replanting.
 
Life can be rather hectic but, I knew it needed attention. So firstly I raced to the nursery bought some new seedlings then hurried back for some me time.  Got home, dressed in my jungle gear, grabbed my headsets, iPhone, and trusty secateurs and vigorously assaulted the wilderness, I call my garden. 

I believe that we all need, and should encourage others, to just have some down time, simply to enjoy the things that we want.  It can be vigorous or, it can simply be just reading the novel that you don't get time to read, in the hurried world.  Whatever floats your boat, go for it!
 
I find my solitude in the garden! I turn up the volume in the headset, listen to some stuff that no one else wants to hear, and transform everything back to the way I like it.  I find it a way of re-charging my batteries and by the end, I am definitely singing 'What a Wonderful World'.  And hopefully, haven't annoyed the neighbours with my rendition!
 
Whether it be gardening, playing the piano, painting or reading a book, I feel we all need down time. We race around trying to please everyone else, and it's time we please ourselves for a little while. Gardening for me gives me a little workout, a little thinking time, and a little bit of sunshine which I love. Piano and reading can float you to a world of escapism for those times where you don't want, or need, to think of the harsh realities that the world will bring, once you step from your little sanctuary of choice.
 
The old saying -'You must stop and smell the roses' - when done, really does put your life back into perspective. Even if, only for your time of the escape! 

Trust me, do it, and don't feel guilty for that little time of selfishness. We all need it!  Yes, your thoughts will go back and forth of the things that are worrying, or need your attention, but somehow time out brings it all together. It gives some grounding for what you are going back to. And, the end of the day everything will seem much clearer and give you strength.

Pre-warn your family that you are having time to yourself. Encourage them to do the same from time to time, so they too, may learn to cope with what the world serves us.  God knows they will love you more for your honesty, and that. you return to them with a renewed gusto and positive thoughts and they too may sing 'What a wonderful world.'
 
Cheers!

Bitches Coz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com