Anyone for Tea?

It is said that bantering between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor was rife and quite often amusing. The infamous quote where Lady Astor said, “Winston if you were my husband, I would poison your tea.” and, Winston in reply said, “Madam if you were my wife, I would drink it.” is quite amusing but, in fact very close to home. When I think of the male role models I have had over the years, two of the three, remind me of the desperation and confusion that must have gone through their minds as to whether to drink the potion, or not! To say this confusion played a big part in their lives is an understatement. 

Two vibrant, articulate, handsome men caught in a web of a very evil, conniving, self-centered, ogre of a woman. Two self-reliant men, capable of anything yet, vulnerable to their own detriment.  Two men who nursed, cared for, and loved their first wives to the end. Two strong men , both fragile enough to fall prey to a spider so calculating, able to draw them into her web of deceit and lies.  Two men, who did nothing, to deserve this fate.   Two men, whose only thoughts were to love, and to be loved in return.

The first of these three men escaped from the web but, not without battle fatigue or, without the sting that she would inflict on him.  Yes indeed he escaped her clutches, but to do so he suffered dearly, but he kept strong with the love that he had to offer. Even she could not take that love that was in his heart. Yes, he was younger, stronger and found someone that would love him and be with him to this day.  However, the love that he found, created a stronger deadlier venom in the evil spider from whom he escaped - a venom that one can only fear.  Fear and stay clear of her webs. 

From the very day he left her life, her rampage of terror gained momentum.  From that very day she gathered allies. She gathered them to connect by a mutual relationship, a resemblance to friendship, and once she had gained their strength she would devour their very being, and cast them from her side forever.

She developed a very cunning persona. Outwardly she was the pillar of society, the pillar of the church, the pillar of compassion and caring, but her victims fell into her poisonous web.  The victims, or people she cared for, would be stripped of their nearest and dearest, stripped of their possessions and totally dependent on the spider.  Then, as sure as the sun rises, they would be stripped of their lives. 

The two men had no chance.  They could not see nor foretell their fate.  This black widow spider was about to serve them tea and they had no choice but to drink it.  When each of the two men entered  into her life, she devoured their prior existence, she excluded friends, family, and the very things that indeed gave them pleasure, their sport, their books, their computers, their love for others.  She possessed their minds and in so doing convinced those around them that she was indeed the carer, the lover, the wife. 

Both of these two men both begged to know why they were in this situation.  Alas the convincing spider gained control of their medications, their activities and their bank balances.  After all it was not difficult at this point to convince them that their only activity was to visit another doctor, to find yet another disability that drew them closer to their death.

So convincing is she, that right to the end, she would strip them of their minds, their sight and their hearing, all in order to keep her web intact.  At the end she would draw on her rent a crowd of friends (all of whom were as deceitful as she) to cover her tracks so as not to lose traction to her lies and deceit. In doing so, would leave a path of broken friends and family to wonder how anyone could act with such evil in her heart. (A heart made of stone)

These two men died in a delirium of wonder, both suffering more than during their time in military service, both wondering what they had done to deserve this in their final days.  Both begged to drink that tea and go over the mountain to a new life.  The third man is bruised and frail now, but knows that he will pass in the arms of a woman who is the love of his life, a woman that has given him his heart back and a woman who returns his love, a woman who cares deeply. 

To all three men I offer you peace.  To the two men already gone, I pray you will find your friends and family in the next life.  I pray that those friends and family will take you in their arms and give you comfort as has the thirds man’s wife.  I pray that you will wake from your slumber of pain and find wings of angels and fly.  As for me, I miss you all dearly. And as I sort my way through this seemingly drunken debacle, if I was ever to see this woman again, I know as Bessie Braddock said to Winston, the scene would be set for her from me.  This spider’s words would be those of Bessie Braddock and they would be “Winston you are Drunk” and I would say to her as Winston said “Yes, madam I am drunk, but tomorrow you will still be ugly, very ugly and evil.”

Despicable #elderabuse #rights

To say I am am angry is an understatement. This cold arsed Queen is so outraged with the lack of support that was given from my last blog, my tweets, my Facebook. I sent it to counsellors to politicians, lawyers, police, other gay people. Did anyone respond even with a like (maybe 3).  What was more disturbing is that, not one person, who may have been able to help or offer some advice, even bothered to comment, tweet or inbox me.

We as the LGBTQI community, ask for us gays to be equally accepted in the eyes of the law.  We ask, quite rightfully, to be equally accepted in the world in general.  However, do we think of anyone beyond our genitals, in regards to others, and their plight for equality? Do those who have suffered under inequality think of anyone beyond our own cause?  I not really think so.  We tend to be as narrow minded, and as selfish, as those that we accuse of bigotry toward us - only thinking self, and nothing of others that are suffering. Yes, marriage equality is important and I cannot wait to get married. But at this minute it is the farthest thing from my mind as I battle for recognition for the rights of the elderly to be safe from abuse and suffering.

I spoke last week of the fears I have for an older gentleman who is in the hands of a woman who could no less be described as a person with Munchausens by Proxy.  Sadly, if her victim was a child we would rally for the support of the victim.  However, her victim is an elderly gentleman and as such, he of course does not count.  It is fine to isolate, to mentally abuse, and to lead this man to his maker, in an act that is nothing short of murder. But, suspect the predator of abusing a child and, every law enforcement officer will be keen to look into the case confidentially and with haste. 

Not so for this gentleman! We need cold hard facts to even get past first base. This is a load of crock.  If I was to tell the police I suspected someone of trafficking drugs they would look at this case immediately and, if in so finding my suspicions were unwarranted, there would be no repercussions but a thanks and you are looking out for your country. 

But, try to look out for someone who has been trodden to his death bed and fears for his safety! Try to change that he will accept the outcomes of the murderer because that is all he has at this final hour! I defy you to get past first base. You are stonewalled at every turn. There are people in the medical industry who will give you advice, but they too are hamstrung in how much they are actually able to do. There are government agencies aplenty that supposedly support the elderly, report on nursing home abuses, give advocacy to those unable to speak for themselves. However, there is one hitch, the elderly person has to be declared ‘not to have capacity’! That is they are unable to take responsibility for themselves. Whilst they have all their faculties, even though they are trapped in an abusive situation there is nothing that can be done without their consent.   

I cry that we that have fought our case of equality for all these years and really do not give a damn for anyone but ourselves. Are we really that shallow that we can pass on this? 

Are our legal people and counsellors that weak that they cannot even offer a little concern, let alone grab it and run for legislation to be passed on something so despicable?

This guy, family and friends contacted everyone available to help on websites.  Police, elder abuse agencies, public guardian, psychologists at our own expense, doctors, public forums, medical facilities, the director of nursing where the patient resides, only to be cut down, to be treated without confidentiality, not even a reply in many instances. 

And in turn, the predator is advised of our concerns, blocking every avenue by virtue of being this old lady who has her husband’s best interests at heart.  Should I say his heart coz she is the one, that is not only breaking his heart, but tampering with it through medication - ooooops pandadol.  This woman who has done it all before and will in fact continue doing it till the day she dies. I cannot understand how everyone says there is a case to answer and yet, because the victim is old, he somehow does not count any more. He is somehow less equal under the law.

We like, comment on  and discuss a little puppy with a bent tail. We discuss of the brutality of the Asians cooking live fish at the table of restaurants but when it comes down to elder abuse, do we really care?  Do we forget that one day (and it will move on us fast) that day will come to us. We even tweet to everyone of our latest novel of fiction and/or fantasy but  this to be real and happening, and no-one cares!!! God forbid us to share this real live case for others to contemplate! God forbid we actually do something about it. We hashtag #comeridewith me and feel like we have single handedly saved the world. But, that is simply a feel good tick. This case is no less real than any of the other atrocities and social issues that everyone hashtags but because this is about the elderly who cares? #no-one

This case is fact so let us get behind our elderly. Let us make sure that they are cared for in the manner they deserve. Let us make sure they live out their twilight years in happiness and with dignity. Let us not leave them to be abused and discarded on the scrap heap of humanity. So as you fight your fight for LGBTQI equality, spare a thought for an elderly learned gentleman, who earned not one, but two Victoria Crosses, in World War 2. As you worry about your next broken fingernail. I will worry that this old fellow will breathe his last as the world really does not give a damn.

 Hello in There - Bette Midler

Injustice #elderabuse #dignity #victim

To the Politicians, to the Legislators, to the Health Care Professionals, to those who intend to get old, and to those who give a damn for the aged!

The efforts, in the safeguarding of children against abuse today are well documented and the commitment to the abolition of child abuse is long overdue. However, the inadequacy of protection for another vulnerable group in our society, and that is the elderly, requires effective protective legislation be put in place urgently! This should be similar to that which now affords protection for our children.

To commence my discussion I would like to share my experience of someone who was a victim of institutional abuse as a child and will end his life as a victim of elder abuse. This makes me fear that while they appear to rise above their experiences, and go on to live what appears to be full and rich lives, are these people conditioned at an early age to be victims their whole lives?

To say we come into this world naked, and leave this world the same way, is beautiful thought of how we are equal from day one till our death. We are as equal as the beauty that nature wanted for us. 

However, to be stripped bare for an entire life, is a total injustice that no one should ever experience. I sit and watch as a man of greatness is breathing his last breaths in the hands of injustice again. I sit watching, as our laws do not allow this man the dignity of passing in God’s own time, but passing in the hands of yet another abuser. 

This man born in 1925, in Scotland, survived being abused as a child to his early teens, in and out of institutional care in the Great Depression. He was devoted till the day his mother and grandmother died, despite their inability to allow him the privilege of a proper home life.  But in his words, ‘These were hard times!’ Yes indeed, they were hard times but, why did hard times have to be such a hard and damaging time for a child simply being afforded  what we see today as basic necessities? 

This man joined the military at a very early age, became a war hero at 17 years of age honoured by the King. He lost his hearing in the right side from this battle and carries the shrapnel to this very day, to remind him why he fought for freedom in World War II.   A freedom that he, and so many others, fought so we may have freedom today - freedom to live; freedom to speak out on injustice; freedom to champion the rights of the oppressed. 

The very freedom that this man fought for has been stripped from him yet again, left him naked and vulnerable. But this is not a beauty of nature. This is one of greed, manipulation, isolation and deceit, dressed in the clothes of an old woman who has the heart of a devil.  The very same Hitlertarianism that he battled so hard against has made him a Jew of the Holocaust in his death bed.

At a time when this man should be enjoying his milestone of 90 years in health, he fears that his dignity in death has slipped into the hands of yet another predator, a predator that is only interested in yet another kill. Yes this woman has killed before, another veteran freedom fighter of the military in Japan. 

Like her victim before, she has isolated him from the very things he loved and nurtured.  Single handedly she has stripped him bare of his family, his friends, his love of reading, his love of art, and now is stripping him from his clever and witty mind.  So persuasive is this devil that she has her manipulated throngs to aid her into his demise. 

The very friends, and relatives, that are able to see through this evil, and pray and speak against this terrorization, are stifled by our justice systems. Our hands are tied in our attempts to save this victim.  We are told by the World Health Organisation to speak out if we fear for our fellow man is a victim of Elder Abuse. But, instead we are hushed into submission as our legislation does not quantify this isolation, and deception, as criminal without what they deem to be ‘solid’ evidence.  Without the blood and the bullet there is no inquiry. There is no mediation, there is no moral obligation to a victim of Elder Abuse.  Instead health professionals warn the predator of our worries and concerns, in so doing, isolating the abused further from a dignified life and death. 

This man, who has cried to us (not in the presence of the devil), “Why is this happening, why am I in this position, how can she do this?” is so fearful, that instead of being able to fight again,for HIS freedom, is nobbled by the devil and made to fear, and feel, that it is best if he just gives up and dies. To die from illnesses that have never been even told to him, (does he really suffer from any of these) and to be relieved of his so-called pain, by end of life medication, so cunningly explained away by the Devil as Panadol via a cannular, is not just tragic, it is criminal.  But of course these deceptions, and lack of proof for “what is he dying from” are, in fact, not evidence but simply a caring woman sharing her husband’s death????  This is a cold, calculating woman who cannot even share in song, ‘Happy Birthday’ with those who have rallied to come to his aid.  Instead she drives the wedge of deception further so he is more and more isolated and dependant on this grim reaper of death - his ‘wife’. 

In Australia we have adopted laws and legislation for child abuse.  We have legislated that these atrocities shall be quashed in the name of the law.  However these legislations have not been adopted for our ever increasing aged. 

Instead our politicians and lobbyists do not fight for the legislation that will assist the Elderly.  Yes we set up advocacy groups for the abused elder, the public guardian to assist but, unless these elderly are of ‘impaired capacity’ there is no system for reporting of such abuse without cold hard facts.  Do the legislators not understand that these elderly are victims who already live in fear?  And, in speaking out for themselves, will only further their existing isolation and abuse, because their very predator, is often the one that is acting in their ‘best ‘interests. 

In our legislated laws against child abuse, our schools, our community groups, our medical practitioners, and indeed, normal people have the opportunity to speak out about any suspicion of child abuse confidentially and, with confidence that our children will be safe and that something will be done to support these children. Reporting is mandatory, and though there may be some suspicions of over zealous people, we can feel secure that our young will have a safe environment free from perpetrators of crime. 

However, our elderly do not have the protection afforded to the children. We, as caring citizens, are not afforded the ability to report on Elder Abuse without hard fact to support our claims. Somehow in my mind, this is blatant discrimination against the aged. 

We, Australian citizens, are told of our responsibilities in the reporting of child abuse, to report breeches of border protection, report drug trafficking and impending crime.  However, our elderly are not afforded the same protection status of those aforementioned. 

In conclusion, I am begging that our Elderly are given the same right of passage as our children. Give them dignity to live without fear. Give them the dignity to live without isolation.  Give them the dignity to feel safe, and that our laws will include them until their God given time has arrived.   

There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares.     -- Richelle E. Goodrich

Giving Thanks! #manners #respect #leadingbyexample

Firstly, thanks for all the correspondence I have had for my last couple of blog posts. I usually leave the more controversial robust posts for my partner but this time they are mine. Blame the rain! 

 
Whilst on the subject of rain, the other day - and I must point out this was not my local shopping centre, which is rather friendly, rather urbane, and rather pleasant - I was visiting a shopping centre and, in front of me at the check out was this lady and her child. As you are aware, I wait so patiently and observe the goings on he he!  Back on track! The lady was being served at the checkout and she pulled a biscuit out of her handbag and to give to the child.  While the service attendant was waiting to receive her credit card, and I waiting in line so patiently, the woman was teasing the child with the biscuit, like a dog obedience trainer is to a Labrador puppy teaching it to sit and heel. However, the mother and the child became less than playful with the training technique, with the child screaming for the biscuit and the mother screaming for a thank you. Eventually, after what seemed the lifespan of the Queen Mother, both achieved their reward. However, the child received a very sore bottom (which I do not agree with by the way) and the mother got the 'Thank you', she so desired.  The lady snatched her credit card and receipt from the service attendant, stuffed the child into the trolley with another smack and scream. Then my turn came to be served with the checkout girl and myself just staring at each other, like two lost souls on a ship going to nowhere.

Not wishing to follow the woman, nor stalk her, I had three other shops that I needed to go to and, sure enough, there she was in front of the queue in two of the shops.  For my third errand I decided to hop in the car and go back to Pleasantville to finish my last one.

The point that I am making here is - this "woman of the demanding thank you", not once thanked the servers who proffered their services to her.  Not once, did she teach by example to her child, the courtesies which she so rigorously required.  Is it so hard to simply say, 'Thank you' to people?  Is it easier to demand, 'Thanks' than give it yourself.  I think not!  Yes the lady may have been having a tough day but is it necessary to use force for thanks?  What is this teaching the child?  Does this behaviour show them bullying is ok or, does it show that they can be bullied.  Either way, its  not the way I want my world to be.  

Surely, all of us must agree, that a simple thanks does not take much energy from our tanks. But, that simple thanks may encourage others to return it in kind, as well.  God knows the checkout operator may be having a tough day one day, jump the counter, and smack us for our lack of manners.  How would we handle that one?  Not well, I am prepared to swear on.   
Ok, we all get absentminded at times and forget manners. But, don't you agree that the simplicities of life can be as rewarding as ticker tape parade down your Main Street. I know at home for instance, just a snatch and snarl may not comfort me sleeping on the couch. Each and everyone of us deserve the right of thanks when it is due. So let's just show it more often and not beat it into someone who forgets, or is learning life's complexities.

These are my thoughts!  I hope you will keep writing in with your's and until next time take care! Always love each other, share a smile, share a shoulder, and share a kind thought for others.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

One Voice! #catholicchurch #pedophilepriests #abuse

Firstly, I would like to thank all the people who emailed me and messaged me on Twitter supporting me with my last article.  I feel humbled that there are so many people who care for those like me, who have opened wounds, that for most, have been hidden for many years.  For many however, these wounds (and I cannot soften this term)  have taken them to sadder places.  Many have struggled in silence and will never have closure to their pain.  Many have borne a shame that was not of their doing, but the doing of those that are the weakest form of life - those that have been able to hide their sin behind closed doors of churches.  Those that sadly, to this day, are hidden, and lost in seas of red tape, by old men who would rather punish the victim than the criminal. 

These old men are no better than those that have perpetrated the crimes upon innocents.  These old men who only have faith in the money and power of churches.  These men who forget that the people are the Church, and without them, they will have no churches to govern, no money to live the lives to which they have become so accustomed.  These men who stand in their pulpits and preach the love of God and yet fail to show one glimmer of love and compassion for the ones who have suffered.  These old men who do not realize that the victims would, for the most, be happy with an apology. To have the guarantee that these crimes will never happen again, and if they do, these clergy should face the law as any other man or woman on Earth.  That these matters are of a civil nature, and not one, to be examined by men whose authority only acts to hide, and victimize, the truth of the innocent who already, for most, are God fearing people.

Why can't these old men see the suffering that the Catholic Church, itself, went through for decades before signing the Lateran Treaty in 1929.  These men of faith who were feared by people like Mussolini because he was afraid of the strength and power of a Church, back then, of 400 million people. Imagine, if Mussolini (whose own father loathed the Church) felt weak without the Catholic Church, how victims feel when they are confronted by teams of lawyers who support this Church.  Yet, these old men who know the strength of the Catholic Church, feel no compassion for their own who are already battle worn by criminals of the cloth. Yes, Pius XI signed that treaty with the fascists, and kept these men in the power positions that they still hold today.

I know for me, all I wanted was the apology and the blame being placed on the perpetrator not on me. I asked back then could he get help.  That help appeared to have been given in the form of a promotion. Help that kept him very comfortable till his death. Yes, you may say I am a little bitter. My retort to that is, 'I am' but, that in itself may have been smoothed many years ago with a little compassion and respect for me as the victim.

For most of us, we ask nothing but understanding, for what we went through.  We do not want to destroy the Church. However, we want the Catholic Church to know that it is made up of humans who are not without sin.  We acknowledge that, so why is it so hard for these old men to just admit that they, and the clergy, are not born of the Virgin Mary but human like the rest of us. We just want these old men to believe their own preaching that the Church is of love, compassion, and healing.

So today, I just ask the Church to believe in their healing. However, firstly they must examine the wounds of the past, apply compassion, offer comfort, and maybe add some additional bandages (for those who seek compensation) but above all share the love, that Christ himself died for on the cross. Don't turn your anger on the victims! In return, you will gain a very mighty Church that is made up of people, of  'One Voice', in an unending hymn of love and faith.

Keep the emails rolling in and I hope that everyone stays safe until next time we talk.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

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