Anyone for Tea?

It is said that bantering between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor was rife and quite often amusing. The infamous quote where Lady Astor said, “Winston if you were my husband, I would poison your tea.” and, Winston in reply said, “Madam if you were my wife, I would drink it.” is quite amusing but, in fact very close to home. When I think of the male role models I have had over the years, two of the three, remind me of the desperation and confusion that must have gone through their minds as to whether to drink the potion, or not! To say this confusion played a big part in their lives is an understatement. 

Two vibrant, articulate, handsome men caught in a web of a very evil, conniving, self-centered, ogre of a woman. Two self-reliant men, capable of anything yet, vulnerable to their own detriment.  Two men who nursed, cared for, and loved their first wives to the end. Two strong men , both fragile enough to fall prey to a spider so calculating, able to draw them into her web of deceit and lies.  Two men, who did nothing, to deserve this fate.   Two men, whose only thoughts were to love, and to be loved in return.

The first of these three men escaped from the web but, not without battle fatigue or, without the sting that she would inflict on him.  Yes indeed he escaped her clutches, but to do so he suffered dearly, but he kept strong with the love that he had to offer. Even she could not take that love that was in his heart. Yes, he was younger, stronger and found someone that would love him and be with him to this day.  However, the love that he found, created a stronger deadlier venom in the evil spider from whom he escaped - a venom that one can only fear.  Fear and stay clear of her webs. 

From the very day he left her life, her rampage of terror gained momentum.  From that very day she gathered allies. She gathered them to connect by a mutual relationship, a resemblance to friendship, and once she had gained their strength she would devour their very being, and cast them from her side forever.

She developed a very cunning persona. Outwardly she was the pillar of society, the pillar of the church, the pillar of compassion and caring, but her victims fell into her poisonous web.  The victims, or people she cared for, would be stripped of their nearest and dearest, stripped of their possessions and totally dependent on the spider.  Then, as sure as the sun rises, they would be stripped of their lives. 

The two men had no chance.  They could not see nor foretell their fate.  This black widow spider was about to serve them tea and they had no choice but to drink it.  When each of the two men entered  into her life, she devoured their prior existence, she excluded friends, family, and the very things that indeed gave them pleasure, their sport, their books, their computers, their love for others.  She possessed their minds and in so doing convinced those around them that she was indeed the carer, the lover, the wife. 

Both of these two men both begged to know why they were in this situation.  Alas the convincing spider gained control of their medications, their activities and their bank balances.  After all it was not difficult at this point to convince them that their only activity was to visit another doctor, to find yet another disability that drew them closer to their death.

So convincing is she, that right to the end, she would strip them of their minds, their sight and their hearing, all in order to keep her web intact.  At the end she would draw on her rent a crowd of friends (all of whom were as deceitful as she) to cover her tracks so as not to lose traction to her lies and deceit. In doing so, would leave a path of broken friends and family to wonder how anyone could act with such evil in her heart. (A heart made of stone)

These two men died in a delirium of wonder, both suffering more than during their time in military service, both wondering what they had done to deserve this in their final days.  Both begged to drink that tea and go over the mountain to a new life.  The third man is bruised and frail now, but knows that he will pass in the arms of a woman who is the love of his life, a woman that has given him his heart back and a woman who returns his love, a woman who cares deeply. 

To all three men I offer you peace.  To the two men already gone, I pray you will find your friends and family in the next life.  I pray that those friends and family will take you in their arms and give you comfort as has the thirds man’s wife.  I pray that you will wake from your slumber of pain and find wings of angels and fly.  As for me, I miss you all dearly. And as I sort my way through this seemingly drunken debacle, if I was ever to see this woman again, I know as Bessie Braddock said to Winston, the scene would be set for her from me.  This spider’s words would be those of Bessie Braddock and they would be “Winston you are Drunk” and I would say to her as Winston said “Yes, madam I am drunk, but tomorrow you will still be ugly, very ugly and evil.”

Jenny Craig and the Bulimic Diet Plan

Strangely enough, for my whole life most people have chosen to never tell me the truth and  inevitably the truth always comes out at some stage. No matter how simple the question, they simply cannot give me a straight answer. Funny really, a gay guy wanting a straight answer.  Though in my heart I know that the lie is there, and the more I search for the truth, the deeper they build or extend the lie. And sure enough when the truth is out I work myself up to such a state that  I’m projectile puking like a Jenny Craig bulimia diet plan. Sadly, I am not skinny and I do apologize to those that suffer from the disease. 

I am seriously wondering why people can’t be open?  Yes, the truth may hurt sometimes but, at least it is the truth, and there is no white washing it.  In my heart of hearts I know that the deception is there and the more I delve the deeper the wound, the more fabricated the lie becomes.  For instance a couple of years ago we were organizing our trip to Europe and I was discussing my thoughts of the plans to my friend to discuss with her husband.  I would ask her to run my thoughts past her husband. She was convincing in the beginning that she would discuss when he got home from work.  Days would go by and I would repeat my questions and either she would avoid (pretend she never read my messages) or tell me he had to race out early for work, or would return from work tired and go straight to bed or golf days were on etc etc.  The little fibs kept building and my curiosity and wanting an answer was wearing thin. It came to the Friday and she avoided the topic by saying she would speak with him on the weekend. Sure, I thought (NOT)!  She is avoiding, fibbing, hiding something, or was too embarrassed to tell me she was a tight ass (which I already had known so no need hide). That very last night after finishing my talks with her and her telling me she would ask him on the weekend, I was running down my newsfeed on FB to see her husband say “Enjoying Turkey”  and photos to match.  The next day I thought, ‘I won’t let on.’ So, when I spoke to her asking how she was going explaining my thoughts to her husband, she said she would ask as soon as he got home from his golf.  I let her run with her deception until a day or two later I ask if his game was in Turkey?   Turkey she proclaimed, with a dash of guilt.  Yes, I said I saw him on FB.  The excuses came left right and centre as to why she had not told me.  None of which would have taken precedence over truth, but hey she promised never to lie again, we went on our holiday of Europe and the Turkey saga is behind us. 

salon.com

Having given an example of a simple lie, I wonder why do people have to do it?  Why can’t they be open?  They can be forthright in business dealings.  Forthright in their political and religious beliefs but when asked some simple question from a friend or relative does it need the deceit?  Please, don’t tell me they didn’t want to hurt my feelings!  That’s what it does big time with the barrage of cover-ups and avoidance of topic because the truth comes out in the smallest of ways, and cuts like a surgeon’s scalpel.  

 

Is it that some people are more prone to being lied to than others?  Do they expect me to be like a policeman and search for the truth?  Or do they really think I am a fool who is gullible enough to let it go without question?  Why is it that those who have been hurt badly must be subjected to more deceit from their closest and dearest? 

Simply I put I to my jury of readers - why is it so? 

Until next time cheers, care for yourselves and those around you. 

One Voice! #catholicchurch #pedophilepriests #abuse

Firstly, I would like to thank all the people who emailed me and messaged me on Twitter supporting me with my last article.  I feel humbled that there are so many people who care for those like me, who have opened wounds, that for most, have been hidden for many years.  For many however, these wounds (and I cannot soften this term)  have taken them to sadder places.  Many have struggled in silence and will never have closure to their pain.  Many have borne a shame that was not of their doing, but the doing of those that are the weakest form of life - those that have been able to hide their sin behind closed doors of churches.  Those that sadly, to this day, are hidden, and lost in seas of red tape, by old men who would rather punish the victim than the criminal. 

These old men are no better than those that have perpetrated the crimes upon innocents.  These old men who only have faith in the money and power of churches.  These men who forget that the people are the Church, and without them, they will have no churches to govern, no money to live the lives to which they have become so accustomed.  These men who stand in their pulpits and preach the love of God and yet fail to show one glimmer of love and compassion for the ones who have suffered.  These old men who do not realize that the victims would, for the most, be happy with an apology. To have the guarantee that these crimes will never happen again, and if they do, these clergy should face the law as any other man or woman on Earth.  That these matters are of a civil nature, and not one, to be examined by men whose authority only acts to hide, and victimize, the truth of the innocent who already, for most, are God fearing people.

Why can't these old men see the suffering that the Catholic Church, itself, went through for decades before signing the Lateran Treaty in 1929.  These men of faith who were feared by people like Mussolini because he was afraid of the strength and power of a Church, back then, of 400 million people. Imagine, if Mussolini (whose own father loathed the Church) felt weak without the Catholic Church, how victims feel when they are confronted by teams of lawyers who support this Church.  Yet, these old men who know the strength of the Catholic Church, feel no compassion for their own who are already battle worn by criminals of the cloth. Yes, Pius XI signed that treaty with the fascists, and kept these men in the power positions that they still hold today.

I know for me, all I wanted was the apology and the blame being placed on the perpetrator not on me. I asked back then could he get help.  That help appeared to have been given in the form of a promotion. Help that kept him very comfortable till his death. Yes, you may say I am a little bitter. My retort to that is, 'I am' but, that in itself may have been smoothed many years ago with a little compassion and respect for me as the victim.

For most of us, we ask nothing but understanding, for what we went through.  We do not want to destroy the Church. However, we want the Catholic Church to know that it is made up of humans who are not without sin.  We acknowledge that, so why is it so hard for these old men to just admit that they, and the clergy, are not born of the Virgin Mary but human like the rest of us. We just want these old men to believe their own preaching that the Church is of love, compassion, and healing.

So today, I just ask the Church to believe in their healing. However, firstly they must examine the wounds of the past, apply compassion, offer comfort, and maybe add some additional bandages (for those who seek compensation) but above all share the love, that Christ himself died for on the cross. Don't turn your anger on the victims! In return, you will gain a very mighty Church that is made up of people, of  'One Voice', in an unending hymn of love and faith.

Keep the emails rolling in and I hope that everyone stays safe until next time we talk.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

thepoliticalcarnival.net

 

Let It Go! #abuse #caring #love #compassion

A little while back, I wrote of a friend of mine and his stressful relationship with his mother.  I asked if anyone could give advice of how to help him with his dilemma. I passed the advice and information from your emails on to him. Thank you! 

After discussions with his new found helpers, they established that he should distance his contact with her.  For the most part, all was going well apart from her abusive texts, and her usual undermining of him to family and friends, but he rose above it all and was going along quite well. 

Inevitably a family function had to be attended. He hummed and haa'd as to whether he should go, or not ,but decided he had nothing to hide so he would attend. This reunion was to be difficult for him, but I know sometimes you need to bite the bullet. I advised him to play it cool and just be nice.  Hopefully the evening would go without incident and he would stay his dignity, which he has always kept, intact! 

Sure enough the woman ,in her evil plot, had readied herself for the kill.  The minute he arrived she told everyone of the prodigal sons return! Of how she had been neglected, and shunned, after everything she had ever done for him.  The 'everything' that she had done, was that of any normal parent - clothe, educate and feed him as a child.  She failed to talk of her manipulation, her torment, her unending assassination of his character over the years.  She also failed to admit that even after all of this, he stood tall and accepted her abuse publicly and personally.  Never did he once denounce her and her evil, embarrassing her like she so often did to him.  

I am proud that my friend kept his cool throughout the evening.  I am proud that my friend did not dip into the gene pool and retaliate in the matriarchal way.  I am proud that my friend left in a dignified manner! Even after she had publicly stated that his love had been payed for in full through her expenditure on him from birth.  Sometimes I feel that no matter how often you turn the cheek and turn back with love, there is a time for you to walk away.  Don't look back.  Refuse to be someone who others can wipe their feet on.  Let it Go.  

My friend and many others have endured this humiliation, this abuse. This form of abuse, though not physical, is something from which you must escape, despite the costs.  No one should endure physical or emotional beatings.  No tie, family, friend or lover should have to succumb to this.  

We intend to stand beside my friend through the emotion, the mourning of his family loss. Any member of his family that allows this to happen to a fellow human being, is not worthy to be in his presence.  We will help him through his loss. Help him to rebuild a life that is compete without the abuse that he has become so used to.  

If anyone you know is suffering abuse in any shape or form please stand by them.  Please give them support, as even if they willingly choose to leave this abusive relationship and family situation, they will indeed feel loss, and they will feel a mourning.  Please don't stand back and, say it has nothing to do with you. Abuse is something that needs to be stopped. Every person deserves the dignity of respect.  Every person deserves someone to lean on in their times of trouble.  

Unless we reach out and offer help, care, and comfort to those suffering our lives will be shallow.  If we don't offer help we will be as guilty as my friend's evil mother.  

These are my thoughts. I hope and pray that you too may feel as I do and reach out and be a shoulder for those more needy than ourselves. Till next time.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com