Sitting on the Fence #courage

How often do we want something, believe in something? Whether it be a simple want or justice, or equality, or clarification to a situation, quite often we all are guilty of sitting back and watching others do the hard yards. Then, when all the work is done, we reap the benefits or, if the outcome is not successful we can honestly say we were not involved in the exercise.  We sit on the fence and bask in the glory of success and not ruffle a feather, and appear neutral if the outcome goes the other way. 

Quite often, even family loyalty is something we sit on the fence with too. We appear to be behind and trust someone 100% but, in fact we have placed our bets fifty/fifty so we,ourselves, don’t get hurt when the race is run. We simply say we do not want to be involved!  It’s so much easier to let others sort it out, to believe in someone and let them take the fall.  Believe me I have been there.  I have watched someone make the point, backed them from the fence and then, when the outcome is sorted, I can go either side of the fence depending on the outcome and, I have not lifted a finger, or broken a nail, so I look like the nice guy.  

 

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Sitting on the fence and being the nice guy is safe, it’s convenient, and it’s less time consuming.  But to be a nice guy on the ground pursuing equality, fairness, justice, and resolution is a much harder option.

 

Where would we fence sitters be today without  the on the ground nice guys such as Martin Luther King Jnr, Mahatma Gandhi, Helen Keller, Aung Suu Kyi, Nelson Mandela, Coretta Scott King, John F. Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mother Teresa, Harvey Milk, and the list goes on?  You’ve got it, without these nice guys, we would probably not even have a fence let alone a world. 

These nice guys fought for our very liberty, justice, equality and peace. They believed in something, stood their ground and battled head on, not a wishy washy one among them. They felt strongly for and stood unabashed to defend truth and justice. Some of whom suffered persecution, imprisonment and even death for the very rights and benefits we so luckily have today. 

So where do we go from here? Do we sit on the fence and watch injustice?  Do we sit and watch as others fight our battle?  Do we sit on the fence and say we don’t want to get involved? If we continue on this path, we have no conscience, we have no credibility, we have no compassion. If we continue on this path we do not even have the true ability to love or to care.  We are just empty shells, hollow and emotionless. 

I know what sort of nice guy, I want to be.  I want to stand for justice, for truth and, for equality for all and I will not sit on the fence and take the safe option. When the day comes to close my eyes for the final time, I want to be proud to say ‘I tried’, ‘I cared,’ and ‘I loved’.

It won’t happen overnight but wouldn’t it be nice for everyone to stand their ground proudly and get involved - to make a difference and to promote truth and justice for every man, woman and child. 

Just my thoughts!

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The Life Beyond and The Life Left Behind

I sit and contemplate Alec’s entrance into the after life.  I see how he farewelled this life with hesitation (90 odd years)  but, I am sure he has entered the next, with music in his heart and at his fingertips.  This man will be tinkling the ivories with the best of them that are in that concert hall.  He will be sharing with his new found friends, and family, the wonderful memories of his life with Mary and the girls.  He will have already mapped the quickest ways to get around this great space and no GPS required.  This man was the master of transport and music.  His dry wit will have each, and everyone, in stitches and his loveable and jovial nature will bring all to sit beside him to hear of his life and love of a great woman.  

As we sit here thinking of how to carry on now that he is gone, we can only think of the void that is left with his absence.  Instead, we should think of this no fuss man who would not want us sitting around moping his leaving the building.  He would want everyone to carry on as before without the troubles of the last few years.  He would want the world to go back to normal and, for everyone, especially his beloved Mary to start living again.  He would want for all to remember the fun that they had experienced.  He would want everyone to rejoice, that the time spent was an adventure, and that the next adventure is just around the corner waiting.  And indeed, when our time comes we will all find that adventure with him at the helm no doubt. 

Death is very hard for us to bear but, if we think beyond ourselves for a moment, we will see the only people suffering are those that are left behind.  The departed are already planning the banquet, and the music, for our entrance to that great concert hall of our afterlife.  All they want, is for us to enjoy and make a better life for those that we will leave behind.  We have to make a difference, a contribution, so that when we leave our mortal coil, someone will be at least a little happier for knowing us. 

In dying, the challenge that Alec and many before him have set for us, is to do exactly that, to make a difference, to reach out and touch someones life.  To create memories, to encourage others to dream, to leave a footprint on this earth that others may follow. 

Life is going to be tough for a while, while we are looking around to see if our loved one is there.  However, if we think outside the square, and look to our side, that loved one is right beside us forever.  No, not in the physical sense, but their love is so strong that we will feel true love whether it is visible or not.  That love has been bequeathed to us, so that we may pass it on to those that we will leave behind someday. 

If we have truly been loved, and we have truly loved, that love can never die.  That love will simply ignite from us to others around us, if we only pass that love forward.  We owe it to our departed to keep their love alive and to pay it forward, to nurture love and kindness and make this a better world for when our time comes to finally close our eyes. 

So now Alec has left us, we owe it to him to not weep and mourn because he has left us but to be positive, to be out there and rejoice his life, and share the happiness that he so wanted and gave to those around him. 

We look forward to one day catching up with him. But for the next while we must carry on and build memories and love for those that we intern will leave one day. 

Take care, be strong and spread the love!

Always - Ella Fitzgerald 

Fuzzy Balls #sharing #community #cooperation

As you may have figured by now, I am quite into fashion and trying to look my best. My partner, however, is not!  Though he does like to wear my clothes and save his own money. However, he could dress in a horse blanket and still look great. Oh, the perils of a clothes horse.

In our relationship we share most things.  Somethings we do well together as a team. Others we are capable of, but better at, or more experienced to do alone.  This is common within any household. General cleaning etc we share.  Cooking he mainly attends, I do on occasions but, I don't have the savoir-faire that he does. So, I tend to limit my dining experiences to the decoration of the table, the ambient music (that he can't hear owing to being deaf) and the eating. Oh and lets not forget, the toasting of his culinary successes with the glasses of champagne. (Ooops did I pluralize that?)

Anyway I deviate from our Fuzzy Balls.  Despite our differences in clothing, one thing we really share is the preening that goes into cleanliness and hygiene. Our hot water bills will attest to that. Neither of us like things out of place, both body and home. One of us, not saying which, jumps faster than me as soon as he sees things getting a little messy.  This jumping can sometimes carry a downside to his obsession for his saving money, not wasting time, and environmental efficiency.

To elaborate, I tend to throw things in the washer to sort later. He, on the other hand, sees the opportunity to save time and just throw anything in on top without sorting.  Yes, it gets clean but those fuzzy balls that appear on my beautiful sweaters when they emerge from the wash just drive me balmy.  This is  one of the said jobs that I am happier to do.  Yes, I am happy to do this, peg our socks in rows on the line, to pick after dry and, allow him to iron later.  But, please don't touch the washer and give us fuzzy balls over our smooth attachments. Yes I realize that you see it and want everything ship shape, but leave it to the expert!

Having said all of this, each and everyone of us has something to contribute to each other's lives. Something,s we shine at and somethings, others shine at.  This being said, if we just pool our shining attributes, we can work together to make things better.  All of us are different, but if we share our talents, the whole world may benefit.  It is far more beneficial to pool our resources and work together than it is to stand and watch from the sideline.  I am sure most of us have the goal of getting along and making everyone else's, and our own lives, less complicated, less alone, less fragmented.Yes there will be fuzzy ball days but, if we share, take responsibility, and give a little, those days will surely become less frequent.

If we learn to share those frustrating days with others, we can learn to experience others strengths and weaknesses.  Offer our strengths to the pool of life and work together for a common goal and that is compassion, love and acceptance.

These are my thoughts, I hope that you will give me your thoughts about my fuzzy balls.  Until next time, take care!

Cheers

Bitchescoz

People - Barbra Streisand