Firstly, thanks for all the correspondence I have had for my last couple of blog posts. I usually leave the more controversial robust posts for my partner but this time they are mine. Blame the rain!
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Whilst
on the subject of rain, the other day - and I must point out this was not my
local shopping centre, which is rather friendly, rather urbane, and rather
pleasant - I was visiting a shopping centre and, in front of me
at the check out was this lady and her child. As you are aware, I wait
so patiently and observe the goings on he he! Back on track! The lady
was being served at the checkout and she pulled a biscuit out of her
handbag and to give to the child. While the service attendant was waiting
to receive her credit card, and I waiting in line so patiently, the woman
was teasing the child with the biscuit, like a dog obedience trainer is
to a Labrador puppy teaching it to sit and heel. However, the mother and
the child became less than playful with the training technique, with the
child screaming for the biscuit and the mother screaming for a thank
you. Eventually, after what seemed the lifespan of the Queen Mother, both
achieved their reward. However, the child received a very sore bottom
(which I do not agree with by the way) and the mother got the 'Thank you', she so desired. The lady snatched her credit card and
receipt from the service attendant, stuffed the child into the
trolley with another smack and scream. Then my turn came to be served with the checkout girl and myself just staring at each other, like two lost
souls on a ship going to nowhere.
Not
wishing to follow the woman, nor stalk her, I had three other shops that
I needed to go to and, sure enough, there she was in front of the queue in two
of the shops. For my third errand I decided to hop in the car and
go back to Pleasantville to finish my last one.
The
point that I am making here is - this "woman of the demanding thank you",
not once thanked the servers who proffered their services to her.
Not once, did she teach by example to her child, the courtesies which
she so rigorously required. Is it so
hard to simply say, 'Thank you' to people? Is it easier to demand, 'Thanks'
than give it yourself. I think not! Yes the lady may have been having a
tough day but is it necessary to use force for thanks? What is this
teaching the child? Does this behaviour show them bullying is ok or,
does it show that they can be bullied. Either way, its not the way I
want my world to be.
Surely, all of
us must agree, that a simple thanks does not take much energy from our
tanks. But, that simple thanks may encourage others to return it in kind,
as well. God knows the checkout operator may be having a tough day one
day, jump the counter, and smack us for our lack of manners. How
would we handle that one? Not well, I am prepared to swear on.
Ok,
we all get absentminded at times and forget manners. But, don't you
agree that the simplicities of life can be as rewarding as ticker tape
parade down your Main Street. I know at home for instance, just a
snatch and snarl may not comfort me sleeping on the couch. Each
and everyone of us deserve the right of thanks when it is due. So let's
just show it more often and not beat it into someone who forgets, or is
learning life's complexities.
These
are my thoughts! I hope you will keep writing in with your's
and until next time take care! Always love each other, share a smile,
share a shoulder, and share a kind thought for others.
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
We all use philosophical riddles like 'How long is a piece of
string?' And others such as 'How deep is the ocean?" They are riddles that do not have an answer and, when you think about it, one can't add a
quantity or length to it. This is the same for love really! How do we quantify love?
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| irisclasson.com |
Each and every one of us is different.
We have our own likes and dislikes. Quite often it is these differences or
similarities that create great relationships, be it as friends or lovers.
The depth of love varies depending on the type and the person. If it is a friendship love you
bounce your differences off each other and there is acceptance of
that. But, the beauty of a friendship love is you are not in a 24/7
situation often. This is the case for my Bestie and I, though we have managed some very heated exchanges via text message. Boy, I am glad I am not the screen on her phone as she thumps her messages out when we are in full flight. I am sure the satellite has smoke pouring out of it as our texts fly back and forth. However, our differences soon pass and then, past is past!
In a family love it
is much the same, you all have differences, interests, and preferences. 'Blood is thicker than water.' they say, referring to families 'sticking together through thick and thin'.
However, the old saying 'You can choose your friends but you cannot choose your relatives' is probably more accurate as sibling rivalry, old squabbles, and new beginnings strain relationships. Though mostly, you respect the blood tie and your love again is a riddle
that only you and the other party can quantify.
A love/partner relationship, is ongoing, learning, growing together. It is experiencing life's joys, and trials and tribulations scenario. This
is a more in your face, in your bed, situation. This relationship needs a
lot of attention from both parties to keep the zing, the romance, and
the passion for togetherness alive. Just because you share a house, you share a bed, does not mean that both
of you are exactly the same. The love that we as partners have,
varies from relationship to relationship. Each and every one of us have
our own hidden, or open rules. God, I know we do, even though I am
perfect :) There can still be differences from time to time.
Each
type of love is a philosophical riddle in itself. The depth, strength,
and longevity is determined by what we put into it. As
none of us are privy to when we close our eyes for the last time, we
should be open to learning, to growing, to nurturing any love that is
before us. Our circle of friends love may vary or grow. But, how open we are to others determines how, why and when!
The
love we have for each other is not determined by our bank balance. It
should not be based on 'My love is better than your love' owing to what
you have done for someone. Love should be a gift with no expectations
placed on it. A free merging of spirit and acceptance. A generosity of
heart. We as adults should not accept that love can be directed by, and dictated, as to
who we love by ancient teachings or politics.
In
other words love has no limits, just the extremities of how great each,
and everyone of us, can make it. Sure, there will be dark and difficult
days! But, knowing that someone is there with you, be it friend, family, or
lover, the philosophical statement "the sky is the limit" is yours for
the asking.
These are my thoughts and I would love to hear from you again on email. I love the discussions.
Till next time crank up the volume of Diana Ross and sing along with me 'Ain't no mountain high enough.'
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
Today, I was actually going to publish a totally different post, but this is a continuation of my last post really so here goes! Tonite, on Channel 10, Michael Parkinson interviews Ian Thorpe and asks him the big question about his sexuality. I know there have been questions about Ian Thorpe's sexuality since day dot, but hey, is this really any body's business but his own? Why is there this need for anyone to know? Since, the previews of this interview have hit the airways, it is all over the news - Ian Thorpe is gay! I wonder if he came out in the interview and said he was going to be a Dad and getting married would the news headlines have said - Ian Thorpe is straight. I do not think so!!!
I have nothing but admiration for Ian Thorpe and his coming out. He has battled with mental health issues in the last few years and hopefully he will now find peace. What is a sad reflection on our society, is that there is any need at all for him to even feel the need to publicly declare his sexuality. Why can't he simply be seen in public with his partner and everyone just accept that is his choice. Does this make him a different person to the one previous to the interview? Absolutely not! The fact that there is even this need to come out publicly simply reinforces my previous article where there seems to be this need to put us in a box. Hello, boxes do not interest us at all :)
We just want to be seen as people, cos after all, that is simply what we are. When they asked people on the street what they thought of Ian Thorpe's coming out, the answers were quite heartwarming. They ranged from -'This is 2014, why is this even an issue?' to 'Good on him, he is an amazing athlete!' There are messages of encouragement from our own Magda, and Rodney Croombe from Marriage Equality Australia commended him saying it would make life easier for others coming out and even prevent some from taking their own life.
How sad is it that there is still such angst in expressing our sexuality, that there is such a need to hide behind the facade of heterosexuality. This is what the gay movement is all about. It is about being ourselves without shame or favour. It is about being ourselves, being free to hold hands in public, to steal that little kiss or secret look without someone screaming that we are rubbing our sexuality in their face. At this point in time, we tend to hang out with our gay brothers and sisters in gay clubs and bars. But, we also risking gay apartheid, where we totally segregate ourselves from the straight community. This would be a shame as our fight to be equal really fails. The only way we are really equal is if we mix freely and equally on all levels of society,and that includes our feeling comfortable socializing with everyone and them feeling comfortable socializing with us. One day there will be no them and us.
Ian Thorpe is/was an amazing athlete. He has every right to be proud of his achievements because he has achieved at a level that only few can aspire to. Australia should be proud of Ian Thorpe because we basked in his glory and took credit when he stood on that podium and collected gold. Now we should be doubly proud. We wish him well in his future life! May he find true happiness with the man of his dreams. May society leave him to enjoy his peaceful existence and Australia should remember him for the truly amazing athlete that he was. His sexuality, while defining who he is on a personal level, should not and does not define who he is on a public level. We do not judge those who heal us who are gay, we do not judge those that teach who are gay, we do not judge those who entertain us who are gay and the list goes on.
So, Ian Thorpe, Australia does not judge you. We applaud you!
Cheers!
Bitchescoz!
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
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How to cope with Procrastination!
Today,
I want to talk about coping with procrastination. You know, I get
anxious just spelling it, cause it takes to long. And, from that remark
you might be aware I am not, dare I spell it again, the procrastinator. I
seem to be surrounded with them. My partner, my bestie and quite a few
others exist in my inner circle. Mind you, sometimes, I feel that I am a
catalyst for their behaviour. That they somehow take pleasure in making
this 'want it now', dreamer' Aquarian wait, and sweat out their
decisions.
I swear, at University, I
must have been dreaming in a magazine when they spoke of Myers Briggs
type indicators, and how we are attracted. I think I must have been
dreaming that whole semester because I am surrounded by them! Surely
if I had paid attention, I might have avoided the penance that I have
had, for such a long time now. I love
to jump out of bed and run headlong into things! And yes, I have made
some very silly mistakes along the way, from not meditating upon the
mysteries as to how, and why, I should do something.
Yes,
it frustrates me that people aren't as quick to scathe the pinnacles of
life that I attempt. But yes, I surrender, it is also assuring that
before I climb my mount, someone is there, contemplating, planning,
thinking clearly. Despite me ready to fly without my fairy wings
attached, they are there navigating the conditions, and checking work place health and
safety regulations, before we attempt our course of action.
Yes
I long for them to just scream the adage of Nike 'Just Do It!' But I
must sometimes realize that these people are put on earth for a purpose
and, not to just sit back and watch others fall, or fail, miserably. These
people are designed by God to drive people like me crazy. No not so.
God put these forward and deep thinkers on Earth to plan for a future, a
future that is secure, a future that is not based on instinct and
dreams alone. Yes, I am sure these people engineered the journeys into
space, designed the tallest buildings so they would not topple, research
the possibilities of curing the common cold (no wonder its taking so
long). These people are organizers, implementers and visionaries.
Yes these people do infuriate people like me, but without them I would be a covered with bruises and have skinned knees. Coping
with them? We just have to draw breath, think a little before we
leap, take their feelings, and thoughts, into consideration. They must
have a valid point. We are created equal after all and I must give them
time to get used to my scatter brain, 'seat of the pants' way of life.
So
thinking these thoughts, I cope with any slow thoughts those around me
have. I thank our maker that this world is full of individuals. This
world is full of people who care, who think, who do things different
from each other but together, we can achieve goals, build dreams and
create a wonderful future.
Together we form a magical woven cloth that when milled together can make a glorious world.
Now Honey, can you just make up your mind on our new refrigerator or our perishables will be lost.
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
How easy is it to pick up your phone and text, leave a message on
someones message bank, to give others the knowledge and security that you are ok.
Yes,
we all get busy! But, being busy is a poor excuse not to just text those close
to you and let them know that you are alright. After all we live in the age of instant communication and it has never been so easy to keep in touch. Don't let loved ones
think, and stew, that you are not answering calls because you have been hit by a
bus or something. And they in turn must learn to do the same for you.
Not
all of us have logical minds and just say, 'Oh they're ok. They are just
busy!' The old adage of 'bad news travels fast' does not sit well with some of us and our overactive minds need to be set at rest so
we can go about business as usual.
As
Blondie sang - 'Call Me' - any day and any time! With silent modes on
phones, a message need not disturb and it can be picked up when they are free! Then, if they too are a bit of a worry wart, they will be assured all is well in your
neck of the woods.
How many times
have I heard mother's crying they were worried about their kids not
calling? How many times have partners been worried that their better
half has been involved in a car accident? All you need is a short
text, 'Held up, be home soon!' That is all it takes!
Simple!
I know and I have been guilty of not picking up the phone and doing the
same to my nearest and dearest. It soothes their minds and they don't
need to wonder what they are going to wear to the funeral. Should I
arrange the flowers? Should I get in more food for the mourning
visitors? These thoughts go through
our minds because we care, not because we are morbid. We just care enough
to feel deeply worried and concerned for their wellbeing. Sounds dramatic I know, but anxiety does strange things to even the calmest of people.
I
travel quite a lot and I try to let my closest know I have arrived, am
going sightseeing now or will be in a meeting for a while so they don't
worry. I drop in the time zone too so they may be aware that my
sleeping time is different to theirs.
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| counseling.ucr.edu |
To
the kids out there, let your folks know that your held up at the mall
with your friends. It puts their minds at rest that you are safe. Texts are cheap and let's face it, a few words of - 'K! Just having a bit
more time!' - can prevent a long face and having to face the tongue lashing when you get home. This applies to the big kids too. Sure
beats the hell out of being confronted with divorce proceedings when
you finally drive into the garage.
It all comes down to
respect, (no I won't go on with another song title) and caring for
those around us. It is not all about 'me'. We must consider that
others have feelings, thoughts and concerns for their loved ones.
Take a few seconds out of your time and communicate.
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
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