Everything Old is New Again #family #nurturing #grandparents

A couple of days ago, I was talking to friends of mine who are having troubles financially, and physically, balancing their schedules, finances, and family, with their heavy work loads. They are above the income threshold for childcare assistance.

They are indeed fortunate that their earning capacity is high. However, they still find it difficult to save, to spend time with their immediate family, and their extended family of parents.  They juggle their work commitments so they can pick up, and drop off, kids to

daycare.  When they are finally home, they run out of steam!  The projects at home are influenced by money, and commitments to both their children, and their respective parents.  Quite often, leaving them the drudgery of the general running of the household and day to day maintenance ie. cooking, cleaning, mowing, ironing etc.  All these things need to be done but, there is very little time spent doing things that give them pleasure as a family and indeed, as a couple.  

Firstly, I asked of them were their parents active? Do they get along well with their parents? Do the children enjoy the grandparent's company?  Do the grandparents live within close proximity to work or home?  The above boxes were ticked with a favourable- Yes!

Ok, I am gay and have no children to pick up and drop off and I realize that not all families do have all boxes ticked, like this couple.  But, to me an obvious question is, 'Why don't they utilize at least one of the problems they are having trouble to organize?'  The problem that is giving their parents quality time with the grandchildren and, indeed allowing themselves time that is not so rushed with their own parents.  

I think from time to time, we think that parents are beyond their use by dates! Maybe, we think that they deserve their time alone - this is their time!  So, why do you hear parents complaining that they never or hardly ever get to see their kids and grandkids?  It is a discussion every time you enter the waiting rooms of doctors surgeries.  Quite honestly, I feel sometimes these people go to the doctor so frequently because it is an outing.  Seems to be, there is nothing they need to be home for. Slanted and judgemental I know, but my pool man who is 75 says its like God's waiting room.  He says all he and his wife have to think of is their food and then go to the doctor to see what may affect them after eating it.  

Yes I am extreme, but, taking on board what my old friend  the pool man has said, and what this couple have discussed, I see a simple solution to their dilemma that may be rewarding both financially and physically.  

Yes children learn a lot from day care etcetera but, they will certainly learn from these elderly statesmen and women as well.  I believe the oldies have a lot to offer, and in turn, the children can teach these old dogs new tricks as well.  A learning curve that is beneficial to all concerned.  Most of these statesmen and women are conquering social media through necessity to keep in touch, and who better, than the younger generation to help them - these children who seem to have been born with a keypad in their grip. And these older citizens who were environmentally friendly before the word became a key phrase and catch cry can give some knowledge how to sew a hem; fix a button; build a kite; how to grow your own vegies; make the best God damn apple pie out of nothing!  And have never had to open Google to do so.

The children's parents benefit too, financially and physically! They don't need to run like mad hatters fitting in to schedules and closing times. They get to see their parents for longer when they pick up the kids or the grandparents drop them home. Thus leaving them more time for things they want to do on their precious weekends.

To me it is a win/win.  If you are confident with the grandparents and the grandparents are confident with the arrangements just go for it. Life will become much better, and who knows, your kids may teach you how to make the best God damn apple pie there is.

My thoughts!

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
 

Everything Old is New Again - Peter Allen

Gay Male or Mere Male???? #gay #domesticgoddess #helpinghand

Today I am asking, 'Are some of the ridiculously dumb things we do inherent because we are gay,  because we are male, or are they not particularly gender related and just plain silly?'

In the advent of friends and relations dropping in this week due to a family gathering for a celebration of a life well lived, my dear partner decided to get out of the kitchen for a while.  And, assume my position as vacuum maid.

He was doing really well for someone without the experience I possess.  Despite the subtle hints of 'Did you move the couch?'  'Did you dust before you did the floor?'  'Don't bump our treasures on the stairs!'  He had seemed to have acquired my skills simply through observation, and I was impressed!  Especially impressed that he did not back chat me with my questions.  Having seen his mastering of such a riveting and very prestigious position in the House of Lords, I was contemplating upping his rank to Domestic Welfare Minister.

This all took a very sour turn for the worse!  Again, I was so impressed that he passed me with the dust canister to dispose of the sins of a few days grime to the refuse. That he cleaned the filter - I had not even known he had observed that skill ever!   This is when I walked to the garden to see my beloved, hosing the life out of my trusted steed named Hoover.  Before I could say 'What the?' he had immersed motor and all in a bucket, and was cleaning madly to make it look brand spanking new. You see, I have learned that yelling is of no consequence to a deaf man, and worse, when he removes his cochlear when playing in water.  However he has learned the facial expressions of the Ice Queen, and immediately looked me in the eye for a compliment of how great of a job he had done.  He knows that if he plays the innocent hand, he may win the trick.

So after a few 'How could you?  'Why did you?'  'Whenever did you see me do?' You figure as you throw trusted hoover in the bin, and you explain the consequences of water and electricity, that sometimes explanations and  job descriptions should be initiated before you hand the reins over.

Are these things avoidable?  Are they a gay thing?  Are they merely a male thing where we assume we know everything?

In my venting to my best friend of today's occurrences, she reminded me of my romantic night where I lit candles too close to an electrical cable.  She reminded me of the time when a cyclone was approaching with huge force. She had said, 'Immerse some of your outside stuff that could take flight into the pool.'  I did of course, do what she had advised! But did she explain to me what stuff?  No!!!! She assumed I knew what went in and what did not! Not once did she believe I would submerge the BBQ and my potted plants.  Of which, the BBQ and the plants died a death owing to it being a salt water pool.  Rust and a salt bath do not bring joy to foliage nor wrought iron, nor I may add to my pool man's face when he rocks up on his weekly visit to clean the pool.

No, I don't believe it is just a gay or male thing.  Come on fess up!  We all do silly things from time to time.  It is not a male nor gay thing.  It is not a female thing.  It is not a thing of children.

It is that, we often take others for granted, that they have followed our lead.  It is that, often we don't ask the experienced of what to do next.  It is often that children do what their parents have done in the past and not realized the times, nor the situation, that they were in at the time. For example the child grows up, sets up house, invites the parents over for dinner.  The mother sees the child prepare the lamb roast.  Having watched the mother for years the new adult cuts the hock from the lamb throws it out to the dog.  The mother onlooking, says to the child, 'Why did you cut off the hock and throw to the dog? It is the best meat.'  The child turns to the mother and says, 'I have watched you do that all my life, so I did what you did.'  The mother replied. 'I only did that because my baking dish was to small to fit it all in!'

This is where, none of us, do silly things because of a gender nor age.  We simply do it, because we lack the knowledge.  We don't ask questions.  We assume too much.  We don't open ourselves, to show others, that we need support.  We don't take time to explain fully to others that are learning.  Put simply, we need to communicate! 

Therefore we all must learn to communicate, offer help, accept constructive advice, and return it with a thank-you, you saved my life.

Now we are off to the electrical store to purchase a water-proof vacuum cleaner.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

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