Road Trip #friendship

Today, tired of painters around the house, I decided to escape on a trip to nowhere in particular but, just hit the highway. I had no intention of getting out of the car. Just a round trip, to think through some things with my music playing, being alone and meditative. As it happens, my sister and I have been talking of late of the wonders of friendships. Not acquaintances, but friends that are as much to you as a relationship, and a relationship that you believe will stand tall and strong till the end of time. 

I’m not talking Facebook friends here that you can accept and reject as quickly as it is to hit a button, but friendships that are meaningful, part of your family but not blood. 

 

meme-lol.com

As in all relationships we need to be committed. (Not that ‘committed’ but committed to the relationship). We need to be there when the chips are down as well as enjoying their successes and happiness.  We need to treat with respect, with care, and to realize that they have feelings and hearts that can be broken. In a partnership, our word, our actions can hurt and  jeopardise the longevity of that commitment.  Also, we must remember that we need to work on our relationship as it will only prosper with the love and thought that we put into it. 

Driving down this highway I suddenly realize that driving is a lot like friendship itself.  We need to learn to merge, give way, move with care, cruise, brake, slow down, speed up, take care, respect other drivers abilities, be mindful, and indicate our intentions. Without all of these we are destined to end at the wreckers or worse.

As I am not on a mission and I am basically Sunday driving on a Tuesday I realize that others are thinking only of getting to their destination, meeting time limits, and some just know that they are bigger and more robust than me and can demand right of passage whether I like it or not.  Some are more showy than me and have an arrogance that tells me to get out of their way.  Their branding, their personalised plates and the size of their exhausts display their self-importance on this highway.  

The friendship highway can be much the same and, without the same courtesies as driving our friendships can end in human wreckage. 

We as drivers on the friendship highway must learn that each, and everyone, is as important as the next and that each driver of life is to be afforded that respect and courtesy. There should be no one judged by the size of their exhausts, their branding, if they are on a time limit, or if they are much more powerful than the next. 

This is something we must take into our daily lives. We may think that we are too busy or too over revved (busy with our day to day responsibilities) for our friendships.  We have to be mindful that our friends need merge as well on our highway.  If a friendship is to survive the journey we must remember that we need to give some time to the Sunday drivers.  The size of our exhausts and brands (our egos, self importance) must take a back seat and allow for our relationships to cruise rather than be rushed, and made feel uncomfortable.  So often we tend to make our friends feel inadequate, and worthless, owing to their unbranded, putt putt they call a car.  (their lives) 

Our actions must reflect our trueness, our commitment to our relationships.  Yes we all get busy but do we have to say to our friends that we are soooooooo busy, making them feel that there is no time for them.  We need to think a little too about our friends situation.  When we know that our true friends are not as financial as we are, do we need to say OH MY GOD I am spending so much on this and that and make them feel more inadequate than they already feel.  Quite often I know that those same friends put their finances further down the slope because they know that they would give their last cent to their friends if they could and give the very little that they have to show them they care and are there for them.

My sister and I had discussed recently how that friendship can be quite one sided.  We discussed how quickly some friendships disappear when your money is depleted.  Suddenly you realize that, when the well is dry, those friends become soooooo busy and have lives that do not include you.  We also discussed that sometimes you and your friends decide to take on other things like holidays, or dinners to find that at the end of it you are left holding the baby and no support has been given.  Dinners become a nightmare! One night you say ‘your shout’ and you encourage your guests to dine like kings or queens in our case.  The next time your friends say ‘their shout’ and immediately as the menu is presented say, ‘OH MY GOD! I could only have the entree size or I am not that hungry.’  This may be true but, don't say this, as your guests for the evening are wanting the queens dinner and are suddenly made to feel that they are mere servants and must eat the peasant meal.  You make them guilty and order the least inexpensive. 

We must realize that to be friends and to have friends is the most wonderful experience.  Something that you must cherish and nurture till the day you no longer have breathe.

Today I thank the painters for making me think, for making me appreciate my friends and to realize that tomorrow may never come.  So make the most of that friendship that partnership on life’s highway.  I thank them for opening my eyes to merge this highway of friendship and to make my friends realize that they are right there on my highway and that together we can create the most wonderful journey and that our road trip is not trip around the block but a journey of care, compassion and love. 

 

rollingout.com

Procrastination #patience #tolerance #love #ambition

How to cope with Procrastination! 

Today, I want to talk about coping with procrastination.  You know, I  get anxious just spelling it, cause it takes to long. And, from that remark you might be aware I am not, dare I spell it again, the procrastinator.  I seem to be surrounded with them.  My partner, my bestie and quite a few others exist in my inner circle.  Mind you, sometimes, I feel that I am a catalyst for their behaviour. That they somehow take pleasure in making this 'want it now', dreamer' Aquarian wait, and sweat out their decisions.

I swear, at University, I must have been dreaming in a magazine when they spoke of Myers Briggs type indicators, and how we are attracted.  I think I must have been dreaming that whole semester because I am surrounded by them! Surely if I  had paid attention, I might have avoided the penance that I have had, for such a long time now.  I love to jump out of bed and run headlong into things! And yes, I have made some very silly mistakes along the way, from not meditating upon the mysteries as to how, and why, I should do something.

Yes, it frustrates me that people aren't as quick to scathe the pinnacles of life that I attempt.  But yes, I surrender, it is also assuring that before I climb my mount, someone is there, contemplating, planning, thinking clearly. Despite me ready to fly without my fairy wings attached, they are there navigating the conditions, and checking work place health and safety regulations, before we attempt our course of action.

Yes I long for them to just scream the adage of Nike 'Just Do It!'  But I must sometimes realize that these people are put on earth for a purpose and, not to just sit back and watch others fall, or fail, miserably.  These people are designed by God to drive people like me crazy.  No not so.  God put these forward and deep thinkers on Earth to plan for a future, a future that is secure, a future that is not based on instinct and dreams alone. Yes, I am sure these people engineered the journeys into space, designed the tallest buildings so they would not topple, research the possibilities of curing the common cold (no wonder its taking  so long).   These people are organizers, implementers and visionaries.

Yes these people do infuriate people like me, but without them I would be a covered with bruises and have skinned knees.  Coping with them?  We just have to draw breath,  think a little before we leap, take their feelings, and thoughts, into consideration.  They must have a valid point.  We are created equal after all and I must give them time to get used to my scatter brain, 'seat of the pants' way of life.
So thinking these thoughts, I cope with any slow thoughts those around me have.  I thank our maker that this world is full of individuals. This world is full of people who care, who think, who do things different from each other but together, we can achieve goals, build dreams and create a wonderful future.

Together we form a magical woven cloth that when milled together can make a glorious world.

Now Honey, can you just make up your mind on our new refrigerator or our perishables will be lost.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
 

Grateful! #respect #gratitude #humble #thanks

Today I decided on a follow up on my last topic 'I Love you More'.  I got a heap of emails and messages thanking me for what I wrote, and to those people, I thank you and I am grateful you took the time to read.  The majority felt as I do and that we don't tell our loved one we love them enough.  And like me they will try to change our quite selfish little ways.

So to carry on with the extended topic - I was thinking how many of us, (me included), forget to give thanks, and be grateful for where we are today? Give thanks for the help we are given along the way. To give thanks and truly mean it!  It is so easy to just say thanks as we speed out the door and, not make others around us feel as special as they are to us.  

In this world, we forget we came in naked and, we will probably go out wearing an ill-fitting, tasteless outfit, chosen by someone else.  An outfit that has probably been cut down the back to fit our mortal remains before they turn to dust.  A terrible thought I know, but that's life really. When I leave here, I would like to be respected for caring and giving thanks to those who helped me.  Thanks to those who helped me on my journey, not just those who happened to be around before I finally close my eyes. My journey has not been just me. My journey thus far, has been scattered with great people. People who made me feel important! People who gave me strength. People who helped, encouraged and lifted me in my low times and, people with whom I have laughed and who made me laugh in those highs.

There are very few indeed, that need not be grateful for someone, along their journey. Everyone has needed, and needs, other people in their lives. There would be no kingdoms, no religions, no businesses, no existence, and dare I say, celebrity without people.

This thought brought me to running my fingers through the blue ticks in our Twitter accounts. You look at the great magazines, the businesses, the successful entrepreneurs - the majority of these have vast numbers of followers, and barring a few, follow others. They probably believe that these people keep them in the life to which they have become accustomed. Or maybe, they are simply grateful for those people that have enabled their careers, their magazines, their sites and businesses to be successful.

I try to avoid following celebrities, so it was a new experience to see their figures. This made me stop and think. Over the last few years I watched a guy forging a new career in singing and songwriting. I saw him ask (begging maybe harsh) for people to download his You Tube clip so that he could afford a follow up single for his loyal and faithful fans. This song made us excited and proud that we too could be out, and we all be, whatever boy he was. Yes, even Australians.  So I looked him up - he has thousands and thousands of followers, and he is following about 300!   I then randomly searched for names of 'stars' or, are they 'divas', of song and screen.  Combined they have millions and millions of followers and yet they follow very few.  The leader of one of the major churches has 4.5 million followers and yet follows 8.  Strangely the followers appear to be in the same building and a majority of them carry his name in one form or the other.

This just made me think.  Where would these people be without the followers.  Without the followers, would they be walking the red carpets of the world.  Would they be demanding a King's ransom for their next movie or recording deal?  Would they be able to holiday in their summer palaces without the followers pouring their hard earned money into the collection plates?  Not for one minute am I envious of these people nor, do I doubt the great works that some do.  Nor do I doubt, the day in day out struggle, of selling their talents to the public in their formative years.  I am simply asking the question, do these people give thanks, and follow their followers, giving them thanks for establishing their chosen journey?  Looking at those figures, I wonder! 

I just realize, though my life is filled and I have experienced plenty,  I still must give thanks, and meaningful gratitude, to those who have helped me on my journey, past and in the future.

You probably realize by now that I am truly into music. I reflect on it. It gives me joy. It lifts and makes me mellow.  Therefore, the song Grateful that I found on You Tube.  I had never heard before, I don't even know if it is affiliated with a church.  All I know is that in the credits it states that it is a love song for the world.  After hearing I truly felt like one of the world.  Listen and let me know.

Today, I conclude with I believe that we should strive to give thanks, and be grateful,  to those who follow us on our journey.  For when I close my eyes, and face my maker, I want to be welcomed in to party.  I don't want to be asked did I give thanks and follow others. The day I close my eyes, I don't want my maker to say your faithful followers are inside, but unfortunately, there is no room in the Inn for you.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

 Grateful - Nimo Patel & Daniel Nahmod

Everything Old is New Again #family #nurturing #grandparents

A couple of days ago, I was talking to friends of mine who are having troubles financially, and physically, balancing their schedules, finances, and family, with their heavy work loads. They are above the income threshold for childcare assistance.

They are indeed fortunate that their earning capacity is high. However, they still find it difficult to save, to spend time with their immediate family, and their extended family of parents.  They juggle their work commitments so they can pick up, and drop off, kids to

daycare.  When they are finally home, they run out of steam!  The projects at home are influenced by money, and commitments to both their children, and their respective parents.  Quite often, leaving them the drudgery of the general running of the household and day to day maintenance ie. cooking, cleaning, mowing, ironing etc.  All these things need to be done but, there is very little time spent doing things that give them pleasure as a family and indeed, as a couple.  

Firstly, I asked of them were their parents active? Do they get along well with their parents? Do the children enjoy the grandparent's company?  Do the grandparents live within close proximity to work or home?  The above boxes were ticked with a favourable- Yes!

Ok, I am gay and have no children to pick up and drop off and I realize that not all families do have all boxes ticked, like this couple.  But, to me an obvious question is, 'Why don't they utilize at least one of the problems they are having trouble to organize?'  The problem that is giving their parents quality time with the grandchildren and, indeed allowing themselves time that is not so rushed with their own parents.  

I think from time to time, we think that parents are beyond their use by dates! Maybe, we think that they deserve their time alone - this is their time!  So, why do you hear parents complaining that they never or hardly ever get to see their kids and grandkids?  It is a discussion every time you enter the waiting rooms of doctors surgeries.  Quite honestly, I feel sometimes these people go to the doctor so frequently because it is an outing.  Seems to be, there is nothing they need to be home for. Slanted and judgemental I know, but my pool man who is 75 says its like God's waiting room.  He says all he and his wife have to think of is their food and then go to the doctor to see what may affect them after eating it.  

Yes I am extreme, but, taking on board what my old friend  the pool man has said, and what this couple have discussed, I see a simple solution to their dilemma that may be rewarding both financially and physically.  

Yes children learn a lot from day care etcetera but, they will certainly learn from these elderly statesmen and women as well.  I believe the oldies have a lot to offer, and in turn, the children can teach these old dogs new tricks as well.  A learning curve that is beneficial to all concerned.  Most of these statesmen and women are conquering social media through necessity to keep in touch, and who better, than the younger generation to help them - these children who seem to have been born with a keypad in their grip. And these older citizens who were environmentally friendly before the word became a key phrase and catch cry can give some knowledge how to sew a hem; fix a button; build a kite; how to grow your own vegies; make the best God damn apple pie out of nothing!  And have never had to open Google to do so.

The children's parents benefit too, financially and physically! They don't need to run like mad hatters fitting in to schedules and closing times. They get to see their parents for longer when they pick up the kids or the grandparents drop them home. Thus leaving them more time for things they want to do on their precious weekends.

To me it is a win/win.  If you are confident with the grandparents and the grandparents are confident with the arrangements just go for it. Life will become much better, and who knows, your kids may teach you how to make the best God damn apple pie there is.

My thoughts!

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
 

Everything Old is New Again - Peter Allen

What do YOU WANT me to be when I grow up?? #dreams #nurture #aspirations #expectations

A young man performs at his school concert.  His parents had work commitments so were unable to attend.  The young man had preened his skills at home in front of the mirror had sung into anything that had resembled a microphone.  He had attended all the rehearsals, honed his skill, a skill that he believed was waiting in the wings to be discovered.  Yes, this young man was great academic student, and his parents wanted nothing, but for him to follow their footsteps into that respectable, ever secure, ever stable, professional career of medicine.

This young man is  great at his study and, is indeed gifted, but he wants something more.  He has a passion, and that passion is music.  He wants to heal people - yes! But, he wants to heal people's hearts through music, through his lyrics.  Not the traditional medicine, but prescribing love through his words and his warm tones.

I digress! Anyway, the young man performed his songs, received many accolades from his peers and teachers.  Backstage, one of the parents congratulated him for his talents and handed him his business card and said, 'Contact me, I would like to hear more from you.'  That father was a record producer. The young man did not know this man from Adam, but when home he Googled and indeed, found this man was a great producer and could maybe guide him with his passion.

When the parents arrived home from their surgeries, he was so excited! He handed them the business card and was so thrilled to have been noticed for something he wanted.  The parents shrugged and said, 'We don't know him!'  They threw the card, along with his excitement, on the bench with all the other correspondence that one day they would get around to, and said, 'Don't forget that science paper for tomorrow. Good night!' And, went to bed.

How many of us, have not taken the time, to respond positively to someone else's excitement.  How many of us shrug, and toss others dreams and desires, to the wind! Forget we once had dreams too!  How many of us remember that we were not encouraged to take a chance, a risk, a step to stray from the 'norm' ? How many of us live with the regret, that we did not receive accolades and encouragement, to pursue dreams that are hidden along with all the unanswered correspondence.

It is easier to not get involved! Easier to keep our dreams buried, and not get hurt with the lost dreams of our past.  It is easier for the nine to five to bring home the bacon, when only few achieve the whole pig on the spit.

This is where we as parents, as partners, as lovers, as friends and  past dreamers need to nurture to encourage talents of those around us.

Yes, we need to care!  We need to take part in the joys and hopes that others have.  God knows, we too may enjoy their journey as well.  Help them discover and to conquer doubt.  Sometimes, our job must be to help ground them a little on their journey, but never discourage their abilities to achieve their life  goals.  For none of us, is it too late to change course! To re-visit our dreams and start afresh! 

Don't let this young man's dreams, be extinguished. Who knows you may need a doctor one day! You may get the most highly qualified doctor who has no passion nor compassion and no caring and encouraging  beside manner.
 
Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

 You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban

Heading in the Right Direction #love #inspiration #appreciation

Keeping up appearances is something we all do.  When we are going for the big night out - the dinner; the job interview to impress; the power meeting to sell our wares; the school and University reunions - we want to look our best.  For these times we preen, fluff, change our clothes a million times, (ok that maybe a gay thing) check the mirror to see if we will impress.

When we are at home or among friends, family and loved ones, we tend to let our guard down, chill a little, let them see us warts and all.  We tend to blend in with the furniture and our loved ones tend to be as comfy as the warm throw on the couch.  We use this comfort to keep us warm and snuggly, and feel safe, knowing that it's always there when we need it.
 

The lyricist and jazz great, Renee Geyer, wrote and sang 'Am I heading in the right direction for your loving  and affection?'  She also said, 'Day to day, I hope and pray, that this feeling is really going to grow!' So, I guess we do have to do a few things to keep it growing.  Like that little pot of glorious colour that we take for granted sitting by our front porch. It needs water, some added nutrient, and some gentle nurturing to keep it alive, and blooming, for years to come.  It's lovely to see it there! It's easy to take for granted that, it will always be there. However, we need to give it some attention, not just use it as a lovely background for our happy pics for our photo album.  We need to bring it inside every so often - show it off a little, not just leave it outside and walk past it.  Put it slap, right bang in the middle of our dining table! Show those around you and bring its glory into the lives of others. Talk to it, say 'God you look ravishing!' (Oh God I sound like Prince Charles talking to nature or, is that Princess Luke?)

I guess, what I am saying here is, it's nice to feel all warm, cozy and contented, knowing that our loved ones are there, and we don't need to impress.  But, just as we dress to impress for the big occasions, we have to preen ourselves a little every now and again, to let others feel that they are as high on the agenda as that big job interview. They are our life blood. They are important to us. They need to know that we care! That we will go out of our way to show them how much we love them and, appreciate them in our lives.
So, cook up a storm! Invite friends and family over, pick a few flowers from your garden, and say 'Thanks' every so often.  Rub your partner on the shoulder and say thanks and I love you.  Home make your child's birthday cake (even if it doesn't look a bit like the Jamie Oliver original).  Show them you care and that they are special in your life.  Send a few random texts to your friends and let them know you are thinking of them.

These are my thoughts and if I give of myself a little, it has a domino effect and encourages them to do the same and then we will be 'Heading in the Right Direction.'

Cheers!

Bitches Coz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com