Forbidden Fruit Revisited

This may set the theologian's hearts into a spin.  This may even give the fundamentalists a tremor in their pants but it has to be said.  Maybe the good book was intended to be different if dear little Eve wasn't so impatient? 

I pre-empt, as a gay guy knowing that guys to guys understand our bodies, more so than woman do.  We know what the pieces do and how far they can be stretched so to speak.  It is the same for women! My lesbian friends say that it is their knowing each others bodies that make it tick or do the trick. 

So having said that, could that be why God got a little tetchy when Eve jumped the gun or got a tad excited over Adam’s Guns?  After all he was created in God’s image, and that, apparently is perfect.  I am having visions of trying to hold myself back from Michelangelo’s David or Adonis.  I am pretty sure if he said hands off while I rest, I would be having troubles with the apple and my serpent as well, so Eve must be forgiven for her indiscretions.

Ok, God told them not to touch the tree of knowledge. Maybe, just maybe, God wasn't finished creating quite yet, and needed a little nanny nap to figure out reproductive organs etcetera. Maybe, just maybe, he told these two to wait until the jobs were finished.  Maybe, he was contemplating another Adam to fit in with Adam and another Eve to compliment Eve.  Just maybe, being gay was the way it was to be, and because Eve jumped Adam and got her leaf off, we have suffered since. 

Maybe,just maybe, we were set for a life of gay abandon till she stewed her apple! And, that is why God said, that in punishment, Adam was to make and collect food and Eve was to bear children with pain. 

God, if she had not interrupted the plan, the straights may be seeking equal rights today and not us. 

But seriously, both are great stories! However, no one is totally satisfied.  Both stories have merit but by all accounts God told them to hold back.  Not once did he say go for it while I sleep.  Maybe, just maybe, he only wanted to people on Earth that never gave him grand-kids. Maybe, he wanted to see them grow only as friends and not experience the problems of divorce, of sexuality, of raring kids, of growing old, and still needing to bonk.  Maybe, just maybe, he wanted his world to be two friends knowing true friendship and sharing life in general. God knows. 

Maybe God had no intention to have either of them looking over their shoulder to see who or what was judging them. After all, you can’t be persecuted for being just you and there is no one to judge but God himself!

I know if I was God, (a bit late now after going off about blowing my cherry over David and Adonis) no matter who I put on earth in my image, I would want for them to be free to be who they are.  Free, as long as they do not physically or mentally hurt anyone. And, never having to prove themselves to anyone but their God.  I know that I would want them to love genuinely and deeply.  I would want for them to know friendship, to know compassion, to know true acceptance and caring, and to give till the only pain was that of giving. 

This is how I would want my creation story to be passed down through the generations.  I would want for my religious interpreters, and leaders, to read my gospels filled with love, sharing and compassion.
These are my thoughts .

Cheers until next time 

Nothing's Gonna Harm You #love #samesexmarriage #lgbti

You know, loving someone to me, is as individual as your personal view of the sunset or the rising sun.  We look at something, and others see a totally different slant, than we do.  Not one of our views is incorrect, as it comes from within.

Views on loving someone is as individual as our DNA. So how can love be compartmentalized? How can any love be wrong?  How can a love between two consenting adults be discouraged?  How can churches dictate how not to love, when their whole philosophy (apparently) is based on love?  Why does politics, stick its ugly head in there and follow churches, when you only have to look at Parliamentary sittings and know there is not a lot of love happening in our houses of government. Surely if church philosophy governs governments, then they should cast out politicians daily for their lack of love and support for each other. 

When a mother loves a child, does she not see that her child is the most glorious, beautiful creature. No matter how others see that child, that love is as individual as that sunrise viewed by millions.  But her love does not lesson as the sun sets on that child's years.  The same can be said for the love that most of us feel for our partners.  Admittedly, the love is not of blood, but our love for that person is as unique as our fingerprints.

Is this love based on sex, I don't think so.  Yes it does play a part as an expression of that love, but for most of us I guess, as the sun goes down on our years and we just sit, and hold the hand of the one we love, sex will not play a big part.  The big part will be the constancy, the impact of the sharing of ourselves for the long haul.  The reflectiveness, the joy, that our  love has brought to our lives.

Over the years inter-racial unions have formed, and luckily for most, seeing people of different colours walking hand in hand has been exorcised from the bigoted minds. (Which was brought on mainly by religions I feel.)  For most of us we don't even look at the colour. What we do look at however is the love that is present in that union, that joy and respect for each other.  I personally cannot see the problem with unions of any kind.  Yes, you may say because I am gay is why I feel that same sex unions should be accepted without discrimination.  Not so! It is because I believe we have the fundamental right to choose who we wish to spend our lives with, and no one, should be frowned upon because of that love.  We are consenting adults with our own minds and hearts.

Personally I feel if you are not harming anyone else then your love should be accepted, encouraged and respected.  No Church, no government, should have the right to change our hearts and God given makeup.  Not once do we see churches or governments frown upon the union of a man or a woman who is unionized, so to speak, with someone much younger than themselves.  For most, they simply say, 'Good on them!' and not give it a second thought.  Never once do we see the church frown on the union of a man and a woman who are past procreational years.  However, procreation is one of the platforms they stand on, to exempt same sex marriages. What does the actual, physical, sexual act have anything to do with people who have chosen to stay pure, which again, is their their right.

We also see churches refuse membership to those who have divorced without the written annulment of their marriage vows.  I just want to know how the church proclaims an annulment between a member of the clergy who is married to the Son of God etc.  I sure as hell would not be saying that one of those parties has fallen out of love with the other, hence giving them approval to move on and take the sacraments.  No, my signature would not be going on that piece of parchment, that's for sure! 

Moving on, I believe that each of us has the right to love and be in love with whoever we wish.  In my childlike mind I just pray that the world will move faster on equality of love.  I want each and every one in the world to be able to love who they want without judgement. Like the mother looking into the crib of her child, look in our partner's eyes and make the same vow as the mother makes to her child, 'Nothings gonna Harm you! Not while I'm around'.

These are  my thoughts,

Cheers!

Bitchescoz   

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Not While I'm Around - Barbra Streisand

Gay Male or Mere Male???? #gay #domesticgoddess #helpinghand

Today I am asking, 'Are some of the ridiculously dumb things we do inherent because we are gay,  because we are male, or are they not particularly gender related and just plain silly?'

In the advent of friends and relations dropping in this week due to a family gathering for a celebration of a life well lived, my dear partner decided to get out of the kitchen for a while.  And, assume my position as vacuum maid.

He was doing really well for someone without the experience I possess.  Despite the subtle hints of 'Did you move the couch?'  'Did you dust before you did the floor?'  'Don't bump our treasures on the stairs!'  He had seemed to have acquired my skills simply through observation, and I was impressed!  Especially impressed that he did not back chat me with my questions.  Having seen his mastering of such a riveting and very prestigious position in the House of Lords, I was contemplating upping his rank to Domestic Welfare Minister.

This all took a very sour turn for the worse!  Again, I was so impressed that he passed me with the dust canister to dispose of the sins of a few days grime to the refuse. That he cleaned the filter - I had not even known he had observed that skill ever!   This is when I walked to the garden to see my beloved, hosing the life out of my trusted steed named Hoover.  Before I could say 'What the?' he had immersed motor and all in a bucket, and was cleaning madly to make it look brand spanking new. You see, I have learned that yelling is of no consequence to a deaf man, and worse, when he removes his cochlear when playing in water.  However he has learned the facial expressions of the Ice Queen, and immediately looked me in the eye for a compliment of how great of a job he had done.  He knows that if he plays the innocent hand, he may win the trick.

So after a few 'How could you?  'Why did you?'  'Whenever did you see me do?' You figure as you throw trusted hoover in the bin, and you explain the consequences of water and electricity, that sometimes explanations and  job descriptions should be initiated before you hand the reins over.

Are these things avoidable?  Are they a gay thing?  Are they merely a male thing where we assume we know everything?

In my venting to my best friend of today's occurrences, she reminded me of my romantic night where I lit candles too close to an electrical cable.  She reminded me of the time when a cyclone was approaching with huge force. She had said, 'Immerse some of your outside stuff that could take flight into the pool.'  I did of course, do what she had advised! But did she explain to me what stuff?  No!!!! She assumed I knew what went in and what did not! Not once did she believe I would submerge the BBQ and my potted plants.  Of which, the BBQ and the plants died a death owing to it being a salt water pool.  Rust and a salt bath do not bring joy to foliage nor wrought iron, nor I may add to my pool man's face when he rocks up on his weekly visit to clean the pool.

No, I don't believe it is just a gay or male thing.  Come on fess up!  We all do silly things from time to time.  It is not a male nor gay thing.  It is not a female thing.  It is not a thing of children.

It is that, we often take others for granted, that they have followed our lead.  It is that, often we don't ask the experienced of what to do next.  It is often that children do what their parents have done in the past and not realized the times, nor the situation, that they were in at the time. For example the child grows up, sets up house, invites the parents over for dinner.  The mother sees the child prepare the lamb roast.  Having watched the mother for years the new adult cuts the hock from the lamb throws it out to the dog.  The mother onlooking, says to the child, 'Why did you cut off the hock and throw to the dog? It is the best meat.'  The child turns to the mother and says, 'I have watched you do that all my life, so I did what you did.'  The mother replied. 'I only did that because my baking dish was to small to fit it all in!'

This is where, none of us, do silly things because of a gender nor age.  We simply do it, because we lack the knowledge.  We don't ask questions.  We assume too much.  We don't open ourselves, to show others, that we need support.  We don't take time to explain fully to others that are learning.  Put simply, we need to communicate! 

Therefore we all must learn to communicate, offer help, accept constructive advice, and return it with a thank-you, you saved my life.

Now we are off to the electrical store to purchase a water-proof vacuum cleaner.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

techno.com.my

A Life Well Lived #abuse #bullying #discrimination

Today, in Australia, they handed out the Queen's Birthday honours. The recipients of such honours have served their communities, their country, their cause with great dedication and diligence.And, in no way do I mean to detract from the good works that these people do.  But, there are many people in all walks of life that dedicate themselves just as diligently to their jobs, their communities and causes. They do not do this because they want accolades. They simply do it because they want to. Maybe, it is time that we give these everyday Joe's some recognition. After all, many of those who appear in these Honours Lists are already handsomely rewarded for  the work they do. So what is it that makes them more qualified than the average citizen? Do these people live a life well lived? They certainly do!

However, to live a life well lived, we do not have to spend our life doing good deeds. There are billions of people world wide who live good lives, caring for their families and friends. They are good world citizens making sure they do the right thing by the environment and the world in general. They are made up of people of all colour and creed. They are made up of single people, couples- heterosexual and homosexual, the disabled, the young and the old. There is no discrimination in those who live a life well lived.

But discrimination is alive and well, as some sectors of society, and members of family, choose to bully, vilify and victimize those who a deemed as 'different'. Rather than value them for their uniqueness and contribution, they choose to try to make them conform. Just because they live differently, or have different needs and wants, does not mean they do not live, a life well lived - that they do not make very valuable contributions to the richness of the family structure and society in general. What is it that makes society so fearful of 'different'? Why is it that even today, there is still a fear (very real I might add) of rejection when a person chooses to 'come out' and tell their family of their sexual orientation. What makes a family reject their beloved son or daughter simply because of their sexuality? They are not a different person to the one they were, before they 'came out'. They still do all the same things as everyone else. They still study. They still go to work. They still fall in love. They still want a family. The very essence of these wants and needs, mean that they live a life, well lived.

If we are going to judge how to define a life well lived, we would do well to look past the veneer that these 'respectable' citizens of the world present to society. We should look past the power, the trappings of wealth, and the apparent perfect family, to see if these people really do qualify for the honour of a life well lived. I believe, that those they choose to denigrate, deserve the honour far more. Simply because they live their lives true to themselves, and treat others with the utmost respect, all the while dealing with the bigotry, manipulation, and animosity that is dished their way each day.

Worldwide, things are slowly changing for the LGBTI community. After all, there is a transexual playing in the Brazilian soccer team, fully supported by his team mates. However, the very fact that he has made headlines worldwide means he isn't considered as simply a person by at least the media of the world. I am sure he lives a life well lived! But, those who think they are the pillars of society choose to comment on this man as if he is a freak show. He is the same as you and me - he is a person. A talented one, I grant you that! Maybe, if he lived in Australia, he might get to receive a Queen's Birthday Honour for his services to sport. But I doubt it! Those in power would make sure that he was buried in some back office while they take all of the glory for his deeds.

Those who choose to manipulate, and bully, those who are 'different' certainly do not qualify for a life lived well. It is far more important to treat those around you with comfort and kindness, whatever their 'difference'. Maybe, we should start a National Bully Register!!! That way those who perpetrate such acts could be punished by making sure they NEVER receive such accolades.That they are unable to hide behind the veneer of society. I would love to scream to the world - these people are dysfunctional parents. Please do not give them credit for a life well lived because on that score they fail.

So how do we define "a life well lived"? Is it a definition owned by the elderly? I think not! Just because someone is old does not mean they necessarily qualify. Is it a definition owned by the rich? Certainly not! Oh yes, they try to buy it, but actions speak louder than words and the result is Epic Fail. Is it a definition owned by community? Maybe! At least community means there is a generosity of spirit as those who are self centered simply do not involve themselves. Is it a definition owned by individuals? Most definitely! At least that way we can weed out those who do not live a life well lived even though they pretend too!

So whether you are a member of the pack, or an individual that is different, try to truly live a life well lived. Be generous of spirit, leave your judgemental gene in your jeans and treat others the way you think you deserve to be treated.

Just then you might qualify for a life well lived!

Cheers!

Bitches Coz!

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Miserable, Bemused and Fucking Angry #LGBTI #transgender #homophobia

Today, I am a little miserable; ok bemused; ok fucking angry!!!!  As you read yesterday, I was concerned about the misuse of power by the media, played out against a minority.  I was reflecting on how we ride the curl to achieve acceptance, and how a few words can set a movement, that has fought long and hard to achieve equality, back with some snide and stupid remarks, all for the benefits of the ratings game.

I am miserable because I believe that that trio should have at least apologized for their misuse of power and that the management of the station should have acted responsibly, with haste, to rectify the situation.  I believe those individuals, undergoing gender transition, should be admired for having the strength of character to proceed. Having the strength to endure the hardships they are facing, not only on a personal level but, the hardship of acceptance and adjustment in the wider community.  This transition cannot be a simple nip and tuck or, adding a digit to ones life surely? (The extensive counseling before gender reassignment is proof of this!)  Therefore, I believe that no one has the right to slight someone regarding their rights and human dignity.

Let it be said, that myself, and other friends of mine (straight and gay) tweeted and Facebooked to try to achieve a response, and Heaven forbid, an apology from this station. We called to others that they take responsibility, that we are in this race together.  How simple could it have been, for these 3 bandits, to recognize their insensitive, disrespectful, and arrogant comments.

Bemused that at the end of the day, if I should think that these people (if I can use that word) are so opinionated and have no respect for others! Or do they just lack class and are simply worth nothing but their ratings?

Fucking Angry?  Yes I am, that the LGBTI community did not stand to be counted in this pursuit for an apology.  Yes, a few retweeted!  Yes a few wrote to me and cheered me on but, did they actually stand for the cause that we have have been struggling with for centuries or, since the beginning of time? The answer is a resounding -NO!!!!!!!!!! 

It is all well and good, to stand offshore and watch and feel the wind blowing in our beautifully sun bleached hair. To listen to, through our earbuds, the revamped version of Gloria Gaynor singing 'We will Survive!'  We can all airbrush our boards to make them look awesome. Make them appear that we are great surfers. We can be amped up and prepared for the waves. We can all dream of the backdoor of the pipeline, which is a deep wave of movement, that we want to get amongst.  But, do we get to the outside where the waves are furtherest from the shore?  Do we meet those set waves and feel the rail grab? Do we throw ourselves in to catch that wave and feel those deepwater breaks? Or, do we simply want to do flat water surf, or ankle slop in the mush? While the real surfers are stoked for their wave because, they believe that this, is where the reason for their passion takes breath. They are prepared to be hammered! To aim to be the Hellman of the great wave of life, that they are in. Yes, I want to ride that wave! I am not prepared to sit and watch the waves from the shore, without getting into the surf.

Yes our ride is on a peak and can be gnarly! Yes, we are in an impact zone but, before we can face the glassy pristine waters without waves, and enjoy the sun, we must remember - that together we can be assured our cord is attached to our community for safety. That we do have the guns to face the greatest waves and challenges of our lives.

Don't sit back, enjoy the surf.  It can be exhilarating, mind blowing and life changing.  Hang ten on your board and enjoy the curl.
 
Cheers

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Courier Mail

Till Hell Freezes Over! #lgbti, #gayboys #gayfun

Every now and again, we all wake on the wrong side of the bed (not for the reasons you are thinking) and a little grumpy. (Not me of course!  Coz - I may have emitted in previous writings that I am perfect, he he.)  Yes, we all have emotions that come and go and, sometimes it is best to be left alone for a while, while you get over it.  However, I feel it is better to slap up the 'do not disturb' sign to give yourself time to sort through it, rather than not telling those around you, you want 'me' time.  Not everyone is a mind reader! (Again, one of my forte's best not mentioned is that I may have a bent for reading too much into it.) But let's talk about someone else for a while.  Let's talk about those who aren't as gifted as moi.

Having established that you want to be alone for a while, allows others to get their thought processes in swing.  It allows them to know that it will pass. It is just a process you need to go through at your own pace.  It allows them, if they are spirited thinkers, to develop strategies as to why you got into that space in the first place. If they realize they were the catapult for your 'me' time, they can get their excuses and defense ready, before you fire the first shot as to why they got you there in the first place.

If you are not following me at the moment, this is how my partner and I were this morning. Simply by communicating our feelings we could have avoided an afternoon of our game of 'guilt ball'.  For those who don't know, 'guilt ball' is a game where the Ice Princess defends her castle from any intrusion. Prince Grumpy may have avoided this game, if only he had erected the 'do not disturb' sign before he tried to enter her realm.  Sort of like a game of ice hockey but (after his quiet treatment without explanation) his puck would be battled and never enter the goal posts until he developed a better game plan.

Therefore, for those who do not  want a game of 'guilt ball'  communicate your feelings to those you love. Get your game plan into action.  Advise the other team of your delay of game, don't risk a face-off, don't risk the penalty of game misconduct.  If your plan is not to communicate your game plan, then place your jock firmly in place. Know that your biscuit may never enter the breezers and you may face a penalty that is butt ending, forfeiting your game for a very long cold season.

Life is a game we all play, despite my attempt to block  the other players goal, we all must play a part in the game.  A game of ice solitaire can be a rather useless, time wasting sport.  In my way of thinking a team of either two or more can give you more satisfaction if the game is played with great sportsman etiquette and  camaraderie.

Not for one minute am I saying that communication solves all problems quickly.  It can be a very long game.  But until it is solved a little frost bite doesn't hurt anyone, as long as when the game is played you unite as one in the club room and supply some warming cream and a tip or two for the next game.

Cheers

Bitchescoz

Regret

Recently on Facebook there was, in a Nurse's newsfeed, a post about the dying and regret! In amongst the regrets of the dying listed, was the regret of not living a life true to oneself. It was in their final days, when the dying had made peace with their lot and awaited their Maker with the resignation of acceptance, that they confided in those who were blessed with helping these people through their final days and hours. These angels in the guise of nurses have made public this list in hope of making a difference in people's lives before it is too late.

When all is said and done, how many of us actually lead a life true to ourselves? How many actually pursue a life of happiness and true self fulfillment? And, when we do how many are judged as selfish and self absorbed? Very early in our lives we are taught that 'happiness' is irrevocably entwined in the happiness of others. Thus, the stage is set from infancy, that for those around us to be happy we must act in a way that pleases others. This conditioning is reinforced throughout our various stages of life. Firstly, we crave the happiness and acceptance of our parents. We move though our childhood pleasing our siblings, our friends, and our teachers. And when adulthood looms, we conform to please society, marrying as expected, producing children as expected and thus creating a whole new set of people that require pleasing.  This need to please continues our entire lives as we move through the various stages. And, the realization has just dawned, that the very fabric of society is built on approval, and the behaviour, that results from the craving for this.

In our quest for acceptance, we wear ridiculous fashion, we follow the latest fads and, the more we try to be different to fit into our peer group, the more we become the same. The competitiveness between individuals drives us to strive for bigger and better possessions, flashier cars, cuter children, smarter children, and the list goes on. At what stage of our life do we say 'I don't give a flying fuck what you think, I am going to please myself!' For some of us that day will never come. We stay in unhappy marriages, conforming to the wants of our partners.We allow our children  to dictate the terms and bully us. Our families boss us around telling us how to live our lives, when they are flat out living their own.  We vote in governments that decide their policy on their ideals and not what is best for the people and country. I am surprised that anyone has enough capacity for 'self' to be able to even recognize, let alone regret, not living a life true to oneself.

If this is life for the Mr and Mrs Average who go through life with the boring mediocrity expected of them, how the hell does the average gay guy manage to avoid this regret. The pressure of family, of society, of government means it is sometimes difficult for homosexual people to even acknowledge their sexuality, let alone be loud and proud. We are not openly demonstrative of our love in the company of family and friends, let alone in public. It is slowly improving and I believe it will be easier for the young gay guys coming through, but hell, it is not that long ago that it was actually illegal for two males to have sex with each other. Is society ready for us to live our lives the way we need to so we dodge the bullet of this particular regret? I do not think so!

The only consolation here is that the LGBTI population does not have a mortgage on this. This is a regret that is universal. Whilst it means different things to different people depending on the shackle they wish to cast off , I do not think the world is ready for gay abandonment (sorry guys for pinching your saying for everyone). Can you imagine a world where we all pleased ourselves? Oh God, how absolutely divine would that be. I don't know about you but I have often dreamed of a time where I could simply sail off into the sunset and tell everyone to 'Fuck off!'

I have made some huge steps in my personal life to living my life the way I want to. This has come at a cost but, it is one I am prepared to pay cos I simply am not prepared to live my life as one huge regret. When the time comes for me to look back over my life and reflect what has been, I do not want to say I have lived my whole life according to others.  Sure, there will be regrets and I do not know if they are accumulative, but now I intend to try to stay true to my wants and needs. With minor deviations due to outside pressure, with the help of my partner I/we will live a life true to myself/ourselves.

So take stock of your life, look to yourself to make a difference in your life. After all there is really only one person who is master of your destiny - and that is yourself!

Have strength!

Bitches Coz

Isolation

Isolation has many guises and I can only talk to you of the isolation that I feel, and have felt, as a gay guy.  Isolation doesn't necessarily mean living as Greta Garbo (I want to be alone). It is easy to be surrounded by people, but still be isolated. Quite often, people in general, isolate you from their lives. Most times - and I guess unintentionally - even though they see you as 'out' and, are fine with that, socially you are placed in the too hard basket (no pun intended). You are accepted as their gay son, gay brother, gay friend but, that is just on a one on one basis.  Quite often you are in their presence but not in their circle.

Speaking from my own experience and not blowing my own horn, (again no pun intended) on a one on one basis you are seen as fun to be around. Someone to listen to their stories, care for their well-being, and make their homes look more elegant. You take them to their doctors, lawyers and Indian Chiefs (but never to be introduced). You show them the latest fads in cooking, be the shoulder  they cry on, fix their social media problems - dare invite them as friends and its broke again. You  take the women in your life shopping for shoes, clothing, and tell them they look fab in what they are trying on because their male partners are only interested how much it costs and if their cleavage will show enough. The guys don't care you are there, because they know your not ogling their bounty and, they can stay home watching the TV, or catching up on the hardware catalogues with the latest in power screwdrivers or whackapackers. Don't get me wrong it is great to be needed but, in a full on socialising situation with these people, you are isolated!

Yes you are loved and needed! But, to interact with you in numbers is a totally different ball game. When there are family functions you are gladly accepted for your cooking and entertainment abilities but that's where it stops.  You can feel it once you sit down at the table and you enter the conversations of politics, religion and equal rights.  Immediately, your dear ones start cringing that you may bring up Gay Rights as being part of these topics of discussion.  Of course Gay Rights are, but, you know where this will go. So you zip your lip, pay lip service, and nod appropriately to the initiators of the conversations.  At the end of the gathering everyone rises, says 'Thank you for the delightful food.' A few say, 'We must swap recipes.' God forbid it to be on Facebook or you end on their 'friends' list! You send them off with their little bundles of leftovers (that they tell their straight friends they cooked). They hop in their conservative little cars and drive off into the distance. You close your door and think to yourself  - 'They never got to know me any better than they did before!'  Then you wait for the next big event for which your services will be called on again.

This is part of the isolation that I live with and for the most I accept. But yes ,it does wear you down occasionally.  When you discuss this siuation (one on one) with your dear ones, the comments come flowing  - 'Honey, you know it's because you are gay that you are emotional!  No one means any harm and they enjoy your company.' Yea right! Again the too hard basket and you are no closer to being accepted than you were before! And, then and there from their lips they follow it up with such deep and meaning powers of consolation with, 'Now, how did you do that ham?' And, 'Those stuffed eggplant were  delicious - write down your recipe.' How can you top that, but to say 'Thanks Mum!' and start writing the recipe.

Yes, having said all this, I must say I am in a relationship with a lovely guy who is caring, family oriented, loving, giving and selfless.  He has the ability, because of his origins, to see total good in everyone. That we must respect, accept and never show our feelings of hurt to those that we love. Never to hear, nor read into, the snide remarks that are made of our sexual orientation  (sometimes I think it would be easier to be deaf like he is). But, in his eyes these people are to be respected for their statesmanship of age and wisdom.  Yes, this is a quality I would love to possess. However, I feel we have the right to be accepted as who we are! I long for the day that we can go to these celebrations hand in hand. Reach over and touch your partner on the hand and say thanks, or, give you some support over a comment you have made.  Yes, I long for the day that speaking out of gay rights is no longer necessary.  Therein lies another isolation! For those of you reading this that are straight, how would it feel if you were unable to easily show something as simple as holding hands or a gentle kiss on the cheek to your partner?

You ask how do I conquer this fear of isolation?  Let me say its not easy, but just allow yourself to be open to a friendship that literally can come out of the blue. I am not talking of a lover here, or a partner, but a true friendship - believe me there is one out there (and you only need one).  One that you can be yourself with!  One that you can share your inner most feelings with!  And you know in turn, I believe and know, that they too have inner most feelings to share as well.  I met this friend quite a few years ago. She has been my lifeline really, and yes, I think we have helped each other in many ways. Together we have surged a friendship that is truly blessed, a friendship that our respective partners see as beneficial as water to our daily diets. Our partners are not threatened nor anxious of our friendship - guess it helps them too as we don't nag their ears off he he. You know a great friendship when your server is down and you can't share your craziness of the day.

You have heard my rantings! My advice for those out there who are feeling isolated (gay or straight) is to be open. Let your guard down a bit, don't think everyone out there is the enemy. Because deep down, we all can be isolated in our own way.  And, for those out there who see straights as the enemy, or straights that see gays as the enemy, each and everyone of us needs a friend. We don't need an army to do coffee with, we simply need one friend that can share, advise, care, love and listen to
us. 

Oh Sooo Many Shoes!!

When did my penchant for nice things begin?? OMG! That is like asking me when I realized I liked boys? Don't the two things go hand in hand! My very first love affair was with shoes.  I have loved them for as long as I can remember, along with watches, bracelets, rings and all jewellery in general. I think it comes with the territory.  No, I KNOW it comes with the territory. Besides you can never have too many shoes.

After all you need a suitable shoe for every occasion - in every colour, style, shape and material possible. I have joggers, loafers, sneakers, boots, lace-ups and, slip-ons. I have thongs, sandals, crocs, and scuffs. They come in suede, leather, canvas, mesh, and composite with colours ranging from the fluorescents, beige, orange, grape, yellow and just about every colour in between. After all you cannot afford to have your shoes clashing with your outfit. I have new shoes, old shoes and everything in between shoes. Some are actually haddit but I cannot bear to part with them as they really become an extension of yourself. Come to think of it, no wonder I have soo many shoes as it is vitally important to have a pair of shoes to match every outfit. After all, where would I wear my Aubergine Suede Boots with yellow soles if I did not own canary yellow pants?

Sooo Many Shoes

My shoes are stored in my garage - they outgrew my wardrobe quite a few years ago!!! Whenever people spot them (which is not difficult) they are like, 'Does a fucking centipede live here?' If I was not such a tough nut, I could take offence at such remarks. There is one drawback with shoes tho and that is you can only wear one pair at a time. There is no such restriction on jewellery, thank God! I can accessorize my favourite watch with as many leather bands as I like. Oooops, sometimes though, when my watch is the size of an alarm clock it does get a little difficult. Now add a handful of rings  and a couple of chains and any outfit is complete. I still have a chuckle when I think of a friend of mine who took simply ages to work out I was gay. Hellooo! I would have thought the accessorizing was a dead givaway!

Why is it that our gayness gives us a yearning for nice things? What is it about our gayness that makes us creative? Is it our feminine side that brings out this trait? Or is it our queer, bent persona that gives us our unique flair for being the best dressed at many occasions. It allows us to push the boundaries and be bold and outrageous, sometimes to the dismay of our conservative rellies. But hey, we do not tell them how to dress! Though I think a few of them could do with a gay boys makeover. After all darlings, we are the style queens of the universe. 

Our penchant for nice things is not restricted to our own person. We are the interior designers of the world, we decorate the sets of films, we are the wedding planners with flair and pizzazz! Oh, how I yearn to be the wedding planner for gay weddings!!!! The gifts we give are the most gorgeous under the tree or on the birthday table. Our gifts are the most elegant, the most outrageous, or the most fun. 

This quirky, bent, flair is simply part of us. Our gayness is the essence of who we are, and having 160 pairs of shoes, 35 watches, and too many wristbands to count, is part of that. Let us be true to our sexuality and be loud and proud of who we are and embrace our flamboyance and flair!

Be Proud to be Pink

Bitches Coz

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International Day against Homophobia

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Friday is IDAHO –International Day Against Homophobia.  How sad is it that we can have International Women’s Day to celebrate the place that women now enjoy in society, Harmony Day to celebrate cultural diversity in our country, International or Universal Children’s Day to promote the well-being of children worldwide, and yet, we cannot simply celebrate LGBTI day to celebrate sexual diversity and harmony within society. We have to have a day against homophobia! I know the gay movement has made huge inroads into society’s perception and acceptance of LGBTI people, but there are still huge changes that need to come about before the straight and gay community can live as one without fear or prejudice. 

I was watching ‘A Place to call Home’ last nite and a poor man in that, is undergoing the horrendous shock treatment of the 1950’s to cure him of his ‘ unnatural and perverted urges.’ Thank God those days are behind us in many parts of the world but, in others, young men are still hanged for being openly gay.  Yet in the same countries, those metering out justice think it is perfectly fine to have brides as young as 12 and sodomize young boys on a whim. While the USA is making huge inroads into approving and legalizing same sex marriage, there are some sections of the population that still force their sons into therapy to 'cure' them from this illness. I wonder at which point, some sections of society, actually realize that we did not suddenly wake up one day and decide to be gay. With the bigotry that still exists I really doubt that anyone would choose their sexuality. 

To be gay is not an easy life. Yes, it is becoming easier, and there is greater acceptance of who we are. Thank goodness the days of forced marriages to make us appear 'normal ' to the rest of society, are disappearing. I do not understand why it is acceptable to society for a gay man to be in an unhappy marriage (which was blessed in a Church) with a woman with whom he has no intimate relationship, and yet he cannot legitimize a loving relationship with another man that is his soul mate and life long partner. How many same sex couples are able to openly hold hands whenever and wherever they are. We are always aware of our surroundings and become very good at gauging where our little acts of loving and intimacy could result in our being abused or bashed. How many straight couples would fear being bashed for simply holding hands. How many straight couples have to put up with idiots driving past in cars and screaming out 'Fucking Poofters' or similar abuse? Not many I daresay. As for the Bogans who think that we are somehow a threat to them and will hit on them or something  - sorry fellas we are not interested in you!

I for one am tired of being told that my life circumstances are my own fault for my lifestyle choices. This in itself confuses me, as I sure as hell did not choose to be gay. I was born this way, just the same as every other person is born with their sexuality. I do not know any other way and, in reality, I love my sexuality and myself. I do not know any other way. This is me!!  However, I cannot say the same for all of those close to me. Many have been very keen for me to conform to 'normal' whatever the hell that is. If we cannot have our families accept us unconditionally, the way we are, what hope do we have that the rest of society will? Gay people are simply people! Yes, we tend to seek our own kind but that is simply because we feel comfortable with others of similar ilk. Contrary to popular opinion, it is not all about the pick-up. We understand each other! We have the same needs and wants as the straight community even if we are drama queens at times :)

We go to school the same as everyone else. We nurse you when you are sick. We make you laugh and cry when you watch us in movies and on television. We design your buildings and decorate your houses. We fix your teeth and broken bodies. We defend your country. We cut your hair. We cook your meals. We do the same things as everyone else and everyone is happy to take credit for, and make use of, our talents and creativity. But they still will not allow us to have the same rights as every other person - black, white or brindle!

While in Australia, the LGBTI community enjoy greater freedoms than ever before, we still lag behind other developed countries with our discriminatory practices against the LGBTI community. Why are some sections of society so fearful of allowing same sex marriage? The sun will still rise tomorrow, Armageddon will not arrive, and really it affects no-one else except the couple tying the knot. Yet, we need to have a movement that actively agitates and campaigns for same sex marriage. When I see some of the homophobic comments placed on social media, I despair and cringe that some sections of society can be so fearful and bigoted. Secretly, I think that some of these homophobes would covet a same sex relationship.Are they motivated by jealousy? Methinks they are!

I believe those that can help the LGBTI community break down the barriers and bigotry are mothers.  We should love our children unconditionally and when mothers get together to protect their children they are a formidable force with which to be reckoned. So when we look to celebrate International Day Against Homophobia, all mothers should join with their LGBTI children and go into battle for them. Let us celebrate who we are and actively work towards a world where we are not seen as gay or any other label that someone wishes to bestow. We will simply be valued and loved as us. We will celebrate our difference as we are embraced for our sameness, acknowledged for out uniqueness, and loved for ourself!

Let us know of your experience - good and bad!

Bitches Coz