You know,
loving someone to me, is as individual as your personal view of the
sunset or the rising sun. We look at something, and others see a totally
different slant, than we do. Not one of our views is incorrect, as
it comes from within.
Views on
loving someone is as individual as our DNA. So how can love be
compartmentalized? How can any love be wrong? How can a love between
two consenting adults be discouraged? How can churches dictate how not
to love, when their whole philosophy (apparently) is based on love? Why
does politics, stick its ugly head in there and follow churches, when you
only have to look at Parliamentary sittings and know there is not a lot of
love happening in our houses of government. Surely if church philosophy governs governments, then they should
cast out politicians daily for their lack of love and support for each
other.
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When a mother loves a child,
does she not see that her child is the most glorious, beautiful
creature. No matter how others see that child, that love is as
individual as that sunrise viewed by millions. But her love does not
lesson as the sun sets on that child's years. The
same can be said for the love that most of us feel for our partners.
Admittedly, the love is not of blood, but our love for that person is as unique as
our fingerprints.
Is this love based
on sex, I don't think so. Yes it does play a part as an expression of that love, but for most of us I guess, as the sun goes down on our years and we just sit, and hold
the hand of the one we love, sex will not play a big part. The big part
will be the constancy, the impact of the sharing of ourselves for the
long haul. The reflectiveness, the joy, that our love has brought to
our lives.
Over the years inter-racial
unions have formed, and luckily for most, seeing people of different
colours walking hand in hand has been exorcised from the bigoted minds.
(Which was brought on mainly by religions I feel.) For most of us we
don't even look at the colour. What we do look at however is the love
that is present in that union, that joy and respect for each other. I
personally cannot see the problem with unions of any kind. Yes, you may
say because I am gay is why I feel that same sex unions should be
accepted without discrimination. Not so! It is because I believe we have
the fundamental right to choose who we wish to spend our lives with, and no one, should be frowned upon because of that love. We are
consenting adults with our own minds and hearts.
Personally
I feel if you are not harming anyone else then your love should be
accepted, encouraged and respected. No Church, no government, should
have the right to change our hearts and God given makeup. Not once do
we see churches or governments frown upon the union of a man or a woman
who is unionized, so to speak, with someone much younger than themselves.
For most, they simply say, 'Good on them!' and not give it a second thought.
Never once do we see the church frown on the union of a man and a woman
who are past procreational years. However, procreation is one of the platforms
they stand on, to exempt same sex marriages. What does the actual,
physical, sexual act have anything to do with people who have
chosen to stay pure, which again, is their their right.
We also see churches refuse membership to those who have divorced without
the written annulment of their marriage vows. I just want to know how
the church proclaims an annulment between a member of the clergy who is married to
the Son of God etc. I sure as hell would not be saying that one of
those parties has fallen out of love with the other, hence giving them
approval to move on and take the sacraments. No, my signature would not
be going on that piece of parchment, that's for sure!
Moving
on, I believe that each of us has the right to love and be in love with
whoever we wish. In my childlike mind I just pray that the world will
move faster on equality of love. I want each and every one in the world to be able to love
who they want without judgement. Like the mother looking into the
crib of her child, look in our partner's eyes and make the same vow as the mother makes
to her child, 'Nothings gonna Harm you! Not while I'm around'.
These are my thoughts,
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
It is no secret that my partner is deaf! When we are in a new surrounding,
like a shop or meeting people for the first time, he says "I am deaf." For no other reason, than to bring to their attention, that there may be some
differences in communication. Never once have I heard him say "Hi,
I'm deaf and gay."
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Quite often, we the gay people of this world, confuse others as to our birth
right. Yes, we were born this way! We are not missing any parts for
our bodily functions. We are all in tact. As far as I, and many
others see it, it is just a descriptive adjective to our human status. It
is like we are people who happen to be gay. Like women, who are people,
happen to be women. Like my partner, he is a person that happens to be Asian. We are all humans with the different description to our make up.
Each and every person on this earth has a description as to who we are.
We just want to be equal on the playing field of life. No
discrimination as to our sex, our colour or our religion. We breathe, we
have skin, we have emotions, we are all human and equal.
I believe that for most, we just want to live our lives as normally as possible.
We don't need to be living in a commune of like minded people. We
want to live in a fully integrated society that sees and has no barriers. As for our descriptions, that is just a cover page to our life, and their are many
varied and different novels in the world libraries. Each book brings a
different hue to the delicate weave of the fabric of society. It just
happens that our thread is the colour of the rainbow. The rich threads
of each and every one of us when interwoven can make the most glorious of fabrics.
There will always be writers clubs, artist gatherings, ethnic clubs, gay bars,
women's and men's clubs, tennis clubs, bear clubs. These clubs are there
for those who have common interests so they can enjoy like minded activities. But when
these institutions are closed and the activities over, we should be able to go to a home that is
not segregated as to our individual lifestyles. Surely, it would be better
to look out our front doors and see that everyone is equal. That there is no
difference to any of us, at the end of the day. We don't have to
enter a room and say "Hi I'm Gay". "Hi I'm a female!". There are
very few with whom we cannot communicate. If we have to walk in and say "Hi
I am gay!", so they feel they know how to communicate with me, then I should just walk past, not even bother, because those people are the bigots of the world.
Another descriptive word for humans, and in that case, they should be
segregated like those before us.
Quite often, when we are fighting for a cause we forget that there are others who
are our allies. That we are preaching to, and sometimes alienating, the converted who believe in the same things that we strive for. They
just happen to be of a different colour thread to ours. Whether it be the Women's Movement, the Gay Movement, or an Ethnic cause we all have common beliefs and goals. If we are able to harness all of these goals and beliefs to a common cause, how powerful a force would that be and what a truly beautiful fabric would we weave?
Each and everyone of us is specially gifted. We are not disabled. We are
individual threads to the fabric of life. We are only handicapped if we
allow others, and ourselves, to believe that we are not equal.
Let our descriptive characters be only part of our overall lives. We
don't need to walk into a room and say - I am a gay human; I am a female human; I
am a coloured human; I am a artist human. Soon they will simply be descriptive
names for the various clubs that we belong to for our collective get togethers, or better still relegated to the heap if extinct society taboos and attitudes.
This is my goal anyway.
Cheers!
Bitches Coz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
By
the end of this you may think that it is an infomercial for Paul
Williams, Joe Raposo and the Muppets. Their lyrics help me to reflect,
to draw strength, to inspire and to believe.
In the next few days we, my partner and myself, will join the celebration of life for my great uncle.
A man who was loved, and cherished, by anyone who had the pleasure of meeting him.
In
readiness for the celebration you recall his goodness and, as with all
such occasions, many tears of joy and sadness emerge. These are times
when you draw on the people especially your partner to be big and
'strong and looking out for you'. A time when you can simply feel the
touch, draw strength from that arm around you. Above all, not feel it is
'you and me against the world'.
You
want to be 'green' and blend in with the establishment. Know that no
one sees you as anything but the 'evergreen' tributes that sit before the
alter.
On these occasions and many
other occasions you don't necessarily want to be seen as the 'rainbow
connection' to this great man. You want to be seen as his family
someone who is seen by your character not by your sexuality. Someone
who has depth, someone who cares, someone who has a love and is as
committed to that love, as the ones around you.
We
all draw strength from those around us. We all say how wonderful that
husband was holding his wife's hand through the eulogy. We see that as
normal as the sun to our lives. We see that sun peeking out of the
clouds, gives us strength on those 'rainy days and Mondays'. Gives us
warmth to 'see it through.'
As gay
guys we need to be seen as normal human beings just like the rest of
the world. We long for our 'voice be one and the same'. We long to be
seen as 'something that we are supposed to be.' We long that we are
'more than visions not only illusions and have nothing to hide.'
For
most of us, I believe, we want to be seen as equal as those that have
fought the civil rites, and the women's rites movements before us. We
want to be seen as a huge melting pot of ideas, ideals with unity, and
be the colour of Spring , a new beginning, a landscape of combined
beauty.
This day is coming closer,
but till then I ask, that all think how they would feel if they were in
our shoes. Do we need others to 'turn their back and walk away' and
when your frightened by the clown need someone lookin' out for you.'
Of course we do! I believe that 'SOONDAY we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers the dreamers and me.'
God bless you Uncle Lance, and may we someday meet again in Paradise.
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
Today, I am a little miserable; ok bemused; ok fucking angry!!!! As
you read yesterday, I was concerned about the misuse of power by the media, played out against a minority. I was reflecting on how we ride the curl to achieve
acceptance, and how a few words can set a movement, that has fought long
and hard to achieve equality, back with some snide and stupid remarks,
all for the benefits of the ratings game.
I am miserable because I believe that that trio should have at least apologized for their
misuse of power and that the management of the station should have acted
responsibly, with haste, to rectify the situation. I believe those individuals,
undergoing gender transition, should be admired for having the strength of
character to proceed. Having the strength to endure the hardships they are facing, not only on a personal level but, the hardship of acceptance and adjustment in the wider community. This
transition cannot be a simple nip and tuck or, adding a digit to ones
life surely? (The extensive counseling before gender reassignment is proof of this!) Therefore, I believe that no one has the right to slight
someone regarding their rights and human dignity.
Let
it be said, that myself, and other friends of mine (straight and gay)
tweeted and Facebooked to try to achieve a
response, and Heaven forbid, an apology from this station. We called to others that they take responsibility, that we are in this race together. How simple could it
have been, for these 3 bandits, to recognize their insensitive,
disrespectful, and arrogant comments.
Bemused
that at the end of the day, if I should think that these people (if I
can use that word) are so opinionated and have no respect for others! Or
do they just lack class and are simply worth nothing but their ratings?
Fucking
Angry? Yes I am, that the LGBTI community did not stand to be counted
in this pursuit for an apology. Yes, a few retweeted! Yes a few
wrote to me and cheered me on but, did they actually stand for the cause
that we have have been struggling with for centuries or, since the
beginning of time? The answer is a resounding -NO!!!!!!!!!!
It is all well and
good, to stand offshore and watch and feel the wind blowing
in our beautifully sun bleached hair. To listen to, through our earbuds, the
revamped version of Gloria Gaynor singing 'We will Survive!' We can all
airbrush our boards to make them look awesome. Make them appear that
we are great surfers. We can be amped up and prepared for the waves.
We can all dream of the backdoor of the pipeline, which is a deep wave
of movement, that we want to get amongst. But, do we get to the outside
where the waves are furtherest from the shore? Do we meet those set waves
and feel the rail grab? Do we throw ourselves in to catch that wave and
feel those deepwater breaks? Or, do we simply want to do flat water surf,
or ankle slop in the mush? While the real surfers are stoked for their
wave because, they believe that this, is where the reason for their
passion takes breath. They are prepared to be hammered! To aim to be the
Hellman of the great wave of life, that they are in. Yes, I want to ride
that wave! I am not prepared to sit and watch the waves from the
shore, without getting into the surf.
Yes
our ride is on a peak and can be gnarly! Yes, we are in an impact
zone but, before we can face the glassy pristine waters without waves, and
enjoy the sun, we must remember - that together we can be assured our cord is attached to our community for safety. That we do have the
guns to face the greatest waves and challenges of our lives.
Don't
sit back, enjoy the surf. It can be exhilarating, mind blowing and
life changing. Hang ten on your board and enjoy the curl.
Cheers
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
 |
| Courier Mail |
Tonight, I was watching Ricki Martin talk openly about his sexuality and his coming out - the freedom it has given him and peace with who he is. This honesty with our family and friends is still a struggle for some of us as we try to find a way to let those we know and love that we are gay. Funny thing is, a lot of them are aware of this long before we are. I feel sad that there is still this hesitation to publicly acknowledge our sexuality. I actually long for the day when it is no longer an issue - that we are simply people! That we are truly treated equally in every way.
However, when we are fretting about whether or not we are judged on our sexuality, walk in the shoes of someone who is not only gay but has a disability as well. This most amazing man in my life is hearing impaired if we want to be politically correct, or, as he says 'I'm deaf!' He never complains of his lot and with the innocence of a child he sees only good. He brings out the protector in me but he is the most self sufficient, diligent, generous person I know. He has worked his entire adult life, but has battled against the odds to gain employment. He has done this without government help or support. Recently, after leaving his job to relocate, he insisted that we put his disability on his Resume even though it is against the law to discriminate against somebody on such grounds. Why did he do this? Because he said when people find out he is deaf, they will not employ him. He is so honest that he would rather tell them straight up. It does not stop the discrimination, it simply short circuits the recruitment process. They simply do not even bother acknowledging his application.
It is their loss however, as this man is amazing at his job. You will not get a more conscientious, hard working. or talented worker than he! He brings amazing value to any business that he works for. However, discrimination is alive and well in this country and I am sure that many employers equate hearing impaired with stupid. Forgive me for my passion on this subject , but with glowing references, amazing talent, and the work ethic of a workaholic there is no reason that this man is not employed except for the fact he has a disability. To the employers out there smug in the ivory towers, I hope you get the quality of workers you deserve!
Sour grapes, I hear you say! I do not think so! His predicament has really brought discrimination into focus for me. At a time when the Government is doing everything possible to get the entire population into the workforce, the reality may differ greatly to the dream. There is discrimination across the entire spectrum of the population. Women are discriminated against as they may have a baby; the LGBTI Community is discriminated against because people feel threatened by us or something; the disabled are discriminated against because of their disability; older people are discriminated against as they may not be as agile; and others are discriminated against on the basis of race. The list goes on and on! While such bigotry exists how does anyone who is not Caucasian male between the age of 25 and 45 get a job. The talent in the pool of 'others' is amazing. All that is required is for the smug few who have been drinking their own bathwater for too long, to find their reality gene, and realize that all of these groups have so much to give.
At a time when we are told to embrace and celebrate the diversity of Australian Society, I think we still have a long way to go. We are told our tough budget is for the good of the country and the direction in which, we as a country have to move. However, equally as important are the humanitarian issues that actually will not cost a cent. They will actually save money and some may even help to swell the empty coffers we are always hearing about. Let us stop the blatant discrimination against the LGBTI community and allow them to marry. The sun will still rise and the world will continue to revolve on its axis. Let us have real debate about euthanasia! I for one do not want to end my days with the indignity of dementia, incontinence and human frailty! We cannot afford to keep these human shells that actually died when their memories faded and the madness of dementia crept in. I am sure if we asked them when they were competent they would agree there is no quality of life in soiled nappies and bed sores. Let us look after our mentally ill, who at this point make up a huge chunk of our prison populations and homeless. Let us make sure that our disabled are treated equally on a level playing field. We insist on ramps being installed, toileting facilities be available, access to parking and public places and yet we deny them employment.
Sometimes, I am ashamed to be Australian. While we have a lot to be thankful for, there are many gaps in the fabric of our society though which each and every one of us fall. Next time you judge the homeless man begging on the street, wonder what brought him from his home and warm bed to such circumstances. When you deny the disabled their place in society, you will do well to remember - There but for the Grace of God go I! It happens in the wink of an eye - a life irrevocably changed forever! Fear not the gay boy you scorn and yell abuse at on the street or the football field! He will not hurt you and he sure as hell will not hit on you!
This little rant only scratches the surface of discrimination that the politically correct attempt to eliminate! It just goes to show you that no amount of legislation can change attitudes! That my friends comes from within!
Yours in our Loving Country
Bitches Coz
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