You know,
loving someone to me, is as individual as your personal view of the
sunset or the rising sun. We look at something, and others see a totally
different slant, than we do. Not one of our views is incorrect, as
it comes from within.
Views on
loving someone is as individual as our DNA. So how can love be
compartmentalized? How can any love be wrong? How can a love between
two consenting adults be discouraged? How can churches dictate how not
to love, when their whole philosophy (apparently) is based on love? Why
does politics, stick its ugly head in there and follow churches, when you
only have to look at Parliamentary sittings and know there is not a lot of
love happening in our houses of government. Surely if church philosophy governs governments, then they should
cast out politicians daily for their lack of love and support for each
other.
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When a mother loves a child,
does she not see that her child is the most glorious, beautiful
creature. No matter how others see that child, that love is as
individual as that sunrise viewed by millions. But her love does not
lesson as the sun sets on that child's years. The
same can be said for the love that most of us feel for our partners.
Admittedly, the love is not of blood, but our love for that person is as unique as
our fingerprints.
Is this love based
on sex, I don't think so. Yes it does play a part as an expression of that love, but for most of us I guess, as the sun goes down on our years and we just sit, and hold
the hand of the one we love, sex will not play a big part. The big part
will be the constancy, the impact of the sharing of ourselves for the
long haul. The reflectiveness, the joy, that our love has brought to
our lives.
Over the years inter-racial
unions have formed, and luckily for most, seeing people of different
colours walking hand in hand has been exorcised from the bigoted minds.
(Which was brought on mainly by religions I feel.) For most of us we
don't even look at the colour. What we do look at however is the love
that is present in that union, that joy and respect for each other. I
personally cannot see the problem with unions of any kind. Yes, you may
say because I am gay is why I feel that same sex unions should be
accepted without discrimination. Not so! It is because I believe we have
the fundamental right to choose who we wish to spend our lives with, and no one, should be frowned upon because of that love. We are
consenting adults with our own minds and hearts.
Personally
I feel if you are not harming anyone else then your love should be
accepted, encouraged and respected. No Church, no government, should
have the right to change our hearts and God given makeup. Not once do
we see churches or governments frown upon the union of a man or a woman
who is unionized, so to speak, with someone much younger than themselves.
For most, they simply say, 'Good on them!' and not give it a second thought.
Never once do we see the church frown on the union of a man and a woman
who are past procreational years. However, procreation is one of the platforms
they stand on, to exempt same sex marriages. What does the actual,
physical, sexual act have anything to do with people who have
chosen to stay pure, which again, is their their right.
We also see churches refuse membership to those who have divorced without
the written annulment of their marriage vows. I just want to know how
the church proclaims an annulment between a member of the clergy who is married to
the Son of God etc. I sure as hell would not be saying that one of
those parties has fallen out of love with the other, hence giving them
approval to move on and take the sacraments. No, my signature would not
be going on that piece of parchment, that's for sure!
Moving
on, I believe that each of us has the right to love and be in love with
whoever we wish. In my childlike mind I just pray that the world will
move faster on equality of love. I want each and every one in the world to be able to love
who they want without judgement. Like the mother looking into the
crib of her child, look in our partner's eyes and make the same vow as the mother makes
to her child, 'Nothings gonna Harm you! Not while I'm around'.
These are my thoughts,
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
Today, I was actually going to publish a totally different post, but this is a continuation of my last post really so here goes! Tonite, on Channel 10, Michael Parkinson interviews Ian Thorpe and asks him the big question about his sexuality. I know there have been questions about Ian Thorpe's sexuality since day dot, but hey, is this really any body's business but his own? Why is there this need for anyone to know? Since, the previews of this interview have hit the airways, it is all over the news - Ian Thorpe is gay! I wonder if he came out in the interview and said he was going to be a Dad and getting married would the news headlines have said - Ian Thorpe is straight. I do not think so!!!
I have nothing but admiration for Ian Thorpe and his coming out. He has battled with mental health issues in the last few years and hopefully he will now find peace. What is a sad reflection on our society, is that there is any need at all for him to even feel the need to publicly declare his sexuality. Why can't he simply be seen in public with his partner and everyone just accept that is his choice. Does this make him a different person to the one previous to the interview? Absolutely not! The fact that there is even this need to come out publicly simply reinforces my previous article where there seems to be this need to put us in a box. Hello, boxes do not interest us at all :)
We just want to be seen as people, cos after all, that is simply what we are. When they asked people on the street what they thought of Ian Thorpe's coming out, the answers were quite heartwarming. They ranged from -'This is 2014, why is this even an issue?' to 'Good on him, he is an amazing athlete!' There are messages of encouragement from our own Magda, and Rodney Croombe from Marriage Equality Australia commended him saying it would make life easier for others coming out and even prevent some from taking their own life.
How sad is it that there is still such angst in expressing our sexuality, that there is such a need to hide behind the facade of heterosexuality. This is what the gay movement is all about. It is about being ourselves without shame or favour. It is about being ourselves, being free to hold hands in public, to steal that little kiss or secret look without someone screaming that we are rubbing our sexuality in their face. At this point in time, we tend to hang out with our gay brothers and sisters in gay clubs and bars. But, we also risking gay apartheid, where we totally segregate ourselves from the straight community. This would be a shame as our fight to be equal really fails. The only way we are really equal is if we mix freely and equally on all levels of society,and that includes our feeling comfortable socializing with everyone and them feeling comfortable socializing with us. One day there will be no them and us.
Ian Thorpe is/was an amazing athlete. He has every right to be proud of his achievements because he has achieved at a level that only few can aspire to. Australia should be proud of Ian Thorpe because we basked in his glory and took credit when he stood on that podium and collected gold. Now we should be doubly proud. We wish him well in his future life! May he find true happiness with the man of his dreams. May society leave him to enjoy his peaceful existence and Australia should remember him for the truly amazing athlete that he was. His sexuality, while defining who he is on a personal level, should not and does not define who he is on a public level. We do not judge those who heal us who are gay, we do not judge those that teach who are gay, we do not judge those who entertain us who are gay and the list goes on.
So, Ian Thorpe, Australia does not judge you. We applaud you!
Cheers!
Bitchescoz!
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
It is no secret that my partner is deaf! When we are in a new surrounding,
like a shop or meeting people for the first time, he says "I am deaf." For no other reason, than to bring to their attention, that there may be some
differences in communication. Never once have I heard him say "Hi,
I'm deaf and gay."
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Quite often, we the gay people of this world, confuse others as to our birth
right. Yes, we were born this way! We are not missing any parts for
our bodily functions. We are all in tact. As far as I, and many
others see it, it is just a descriptive adjective to our human status. It
is like we are people who happen to be gay. Like women, who are people,
happen to be women. Like my partner, he is a person that happens to be Asian. We are all humans with the different description to our make up.
Each and every person on this earth has a description as to who we are.
We just want to be equal on the playing field of life. No
discrimination as to our sex, our colour or our religion. We breathe, we
have skin, we have emotions, we are all human and equal.
I believe that for most, we just want to live our lives as normally as possible.
We don't need to be living in a commune of like minded people. We
want to live in a fully integrated society that sees and has no barriers. As for our descriptions, that is just a cover page to our life, and their are many
varied and different novels in the world libraries. Each book brings a
different hue to the delicate weave of the fabric of society. It just
happens that our thread is the colour of the rainbow. The rich threads
of each and every one of us when interwoven can make the most glorious of fabrics.
There will always be writers clubs, artist gatherings, ethnic clubs, gay bars,
women's and men's clubs, tennis clubs, bear clubs. These clubs are there
for those who have common interests so they can enjoy like minded activities. But when
these institutions are closed and the activities over, we should be able to go to a home that is
not segregated as to our individual lifestyles. Surely, it would be better
to look out our front doors and see that everyone is equal. That there is no
difference to any of us, at the end of the day. We don't have to
enter a room and say "Hi I'm Gay". "Hi I'm a female!". There are
very few with whom we cannot communicate. If we have to walk in and say "Hi
I am gay!", so they feel they know how to communicate with me, then I should just walk past, not even bother, because those people are the bigots of the world.
Another descriptive word for humans, and in that case, they should be
segregated like those before us.
Quite often, when we are fighting for a cause we forget that there are others who
are our allies. That we are preaching to, and sometimes alienating, the converted who believe in the same things that we strive for. They
just happen to be of a different colour thread to ours. Whether it be the Women's Movement, the Gay Movement, or an Ethnic cause we all have common beliefs and goals. If we are able to harness all of these goals and beliefs to a common cause, how powerful a force would that be and what a truly beautiful fabric would we weave?
Each and everyone of us is specially gifted. We are not disabled. We are
individual threads to the fabric of life. We are only handicapped if we
allow others, and ourselves, to believe that we are not equal.
Let our descriptive characters be only part of our overall lives. We
don't need to walk into a room and say - I am a gay human; I am a female human; I
am a coloured human; I am a artist human. Soon they will simply be descriptive
names for the various clubs that we belong to for our collective get togethers, or better still relegated to the heap if extinct society taboos and attitudes.
This is my goal anyway.
Cheers!
Bitches Coz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
By
the end of this you may think that it is an infomercial for Paul
Williams, Joe Raposo and the Muppets. Their lyrics help me to reflect,
to draw strength, to inspire and to believe.
In the next few days we, my partner and myself, will join the celebration of life for my great uncle.
A man who was loved, and cherished, by anyone who had the pleasure of meeting him.
In
readiness for the celebration you recall his goodness and, as with all
such occasions, many tears of joy and sadness emerge. These are times
when you draw on the people especially your partner to be big and
'strong and looking out for you'. A time when you can simply feel the
touch, draw strength from that arm around you. Above all, not feel it is
'you and me against the world'.
You
want to be 'green' and blend in with the establishment. Know that no
one sees you as anything but the 'evergreen' tributes that sit before the
alter.
On these occasions and many
other occasions you don't necessarily want to be seen as the 'rainbow
connection' to this great man. You want to be seen as his family
someone who is seen by your character not by your sexuality. Someone
who has depth, someone who cares, someone who has a love and is as
committed to that love, as the ones around you.
We
all draw strength from those around us. We all say how wonderful that
husband was holding his wife's hand through the eulogy. We see that as
normal as the sun to our lives. We see that sun peeking out of the
clouds, gives us strength on those 'rainy days and Mondays'. Gives us
warmth to 'see it through.'
As gay
guys we need to be seen as normal human beings just like the rest of
the world. We long for our 'voice be one and the same'. We long to be
seen as 'something that we are supposed to be.' We long that we are
'more than visions not only illusions and have nothing to hide.'
For
most of us, I believe, we want to be seen as equal as those that have
fought the civil rites, and the women's rites movements before us. We
want to be seen as a huge melting pot of ideas, ideals with unity, and
be the colour of Spring , a new beginning, a landscape of combined
beauty.
This day is coming closer,
but till then I ask, that all think how they would feel if they were in
our shoes. Do we need others to 'turn their back and walk away' and
when your frightened by the clown need someone lookin' out for you.'
Of course we do! I believe that 'SOONDAY we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers the dreamers and me.'
God bless you Uncle Lance, and may we someday meet again in Paradise.
Cheers!
Bitchescoz
Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com
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