Is Patience a Virtue

 
Today at the office we were discussing the virtues of patience, and I got to wondering how many of us actually do have patience.

We all like to think, and tell everyone, that we are patient but, I think it is great to acknowledge that some of us are in denial.  I for one trust my instinct that, along with my other intolerances of intolerance to gluten, intolerance to seafood, I also believe (self diagnosed of course) I have an intolerance to queuing. I also believe, or is that hope, a change in diet and a little detox may cleanse my liver of the shit that has built up on it. Therefore I wait 'patiently' for  the remedy to cure my ailment that I think may have come from birth.

I guess even back then I was suffering from this intolerance - you see I was to be born in the February but no - I decided 'no waiting' - I'm coming out on the 22 January! And, while I'm at it I'm not coming out the normal pathway - I'm not going through 'that'! So, I decided to never allow myself entry to those areas, and came  'out' via Caesarean Section. A path fit for Kings (or is that Queens)!

 Yes, I believe that some of us have a greater tolerance for patience than I, and believe with a little encouragement and reassurance from my friends and partner that I too, may achieve that feeling of euphoria they have, when they  wait in line at the supermarket, or hang on the phone waiting to be fast tracked because you are a valued customer.

Ok! Having established that I do in fact, lack the ability of 'patience' what do I do about it? Do I stand in the supermarket queue and smile sweetly at the 15 people in front of me with more than 10 items in their basket in the express lane?  Do I simply take a novel to the phone while waiting for the bank to tell me I have moved up in the queue? Should I encourage the other shoppers to join me in song '100 green bottles' while the checkout operator has called for a price check from a staff member who has obviously gone on long service leave? Should, when I get to my turn on the bank queue forget that there are 120 others waiting after me and discuss my retirement package, coz when I ring and get on queue the next time, retirement may have happened upon me while waiting?

Having let my partner read what I have written thus far, he slaps me and says, I have to breath deeply and think happy thoughts and that good things come to those who wait.  My immediate thought is have I changed gender and I am in a birthing suite delivering his child naturally?  And if so, I want him here experiencing my pain, slap him up on the gurney and give him a full body wax while I think happy thoughts.

Back into thoughts on patience! Yes, I accept his and my friends thoughts on the euphoria one should achieve in these times. Yes, I accept that I was wrong in thinking of throttling the customers in front of me and that I should offer to push there overladen trolleys to their cars (while I wait) and that I will achieve great abundance of good things happening to me for waiting so long. I should also believe that I should apply more tact and diplomacy to each situation.

Now having gained this knowledge of how to reach a plateau of peace and tranquility, I pour myself a nice glass of wine, sit patiently, write my shopping list, pass it to my partner lovingly and say, "This is what I need from the market Honey, the frequent shoppers card is in my wallet - don't forget it. Oh and it might be best to ring the bank and see if you have enough money in the account to pay for your purchases!"

Cheers

Bitchescoz