A Spoonful of Sugar #sugarsweet

According to the dictionary the meaning for ‘Subliminal’ is: existing or operating below the threshold of consciousness; being or employing stimuli insufficiently intense to produce a discrete sensation but, often being, or designed to be, intense enough to influence the mental processes or the behaviour of the individual:

My question is ‘Can we communicate with someone despite not being together at the time?’  And ‘Can the deceased send us messages?’

I ask these questions with a desire that, the answer to my questions is ‘Yes!’ A couple of weeks ago I was sitting pondering, remembering, and agonising that for some reason someone who is close to my heart was dying.  I was also remembering another someone who had recently passed and what lovely men these two had been. At that stage one still was.  I know that one of these guys was a brilliant pianist and I thought of how he could play even close to the end, and still, the love of music was firmly embedded in his fingers and heart.  Suddenly, while thinking, a few chords of a piano next door came across my fence from a child that is learning to play.  I had not heard them play piano before. Then I drew myself out of my chair and proceeded to go to my piano which I had not played in well over 2 years.  This was as 7.20 in the evening, and as I sat down and started to play ‘A Lighter Shade of Pale’ I realised the keys were dusty and got a cloth and wiped the keys.  I then continued to play 4 songs and, as playing, my mind drifted to the man that had passed and my mind then swiftly turned to the man that was dying.  At 7.35 my sister rings, I stop playing and think as I go to the phone that this man has died.  On taking the phone call, my thoughts were affirmed that it was true.  He passed away at 7.25pm.  In my thoughts of him while I was playing, were that a new life for him would be wonderful.  He needed to find a place of peace. He needed to rekindle the spirit that he had taken from him over the past years.  

cliparts.co

I spoke to a few about this feeling that had washed over me. With my weird sense of humor, I laughed it off to friends and family that maybe, my bad playing made him leave the building and seek some refuge.  However, all actually believed in a spiritual communication of some kind and affirmed my original thoughts that it was in fact me communicating to him that it was ok for him to pass over, his farewells had been given in total.  

Speaking to another friend, she had said that when her husband had passed on, two of his closest friends had signs that had happened at the very time her husband had passed over.  She like me actually took solace  in their thoughts. 

In the final months of the latter mans life, he had cried that he does not know what is happening to him.  He asked questions but was stifled for the answers. In the years prior to his demise every time he had accepted a cup of tea (without fail) he would say, 'Don’t add sugar - I don’t like sugar.'  'She always puts sugar and I don’t like it.'  You would proceed to make his tea without sugar, he would take the first sip and say - ‘Just the way I like it’ .

In at least the last six years of his life, I could not tell you how many times I heard his plea of no sugar.  Slowly, but surely, this man was in decline of health whether he liked it or not he was slowly losing his power and health to make him become dependent on one.  His networks of friends and relatives were in decline as was his health. 

At the Christmas and New Year he traveled with his (one). He returned home, and then with rapid haste, the conditions he suffered became more intense. His networks were all but depleted. His future had become very dim indeed.  His Last Will & Testament was renewed, his enduring power of attorney was sured up to (one) his bank accounts had been lightened for faster probate costs.  His heart which had always been strong ,became weakened and his mind had become more dependent on (one).  He still cried, 'Why is this happening to me?'  He still cried, 'How can I fix this situation I have got myself into?'  But still he would cry, 'Yes, I would love a cup of tea but, don’t put sugar in like (one) does.'  And when we questioned (one), she said 'I do add some Sustagen to help him along.' In his final month the (one) had cut ties with his family and friends completely. The only ones left to stoke the (ones) ego and behaviour were those that we laughingly call ‘the rent a crowd’  These people loved her Oscar award performances.  Had she lived in Hollywood, I am sure Meryl Streep would not be the top of the academy winners list.  This (one) can move from streaming tears, to angered hate, to gentle caring old lady all within minutes and not have a tear nor red eye to be seen after the performance. 

Having set the scenario, I still ponder if from the grave can someone give a message?  Can they be telling us to check something out?  Were our suspicions of his tea worthy of our investigation? Remembering that the (one) is such a good actress, that her acting can proffer forth belief in her lies.  

funcage.com

On the day of his funeral those that were close to him had never heard a song that he had supposedly sung morning and night to the (one).  However, this song was played as they had all believed that this was his song to her. 

I leave you with this thought, tell me, do people talk from the grave? Do people give us this subliminal messages to activate our thought processes?   Now I leave you to think for yourself, was this man who loathed sugar in his tea trying to tell us something.  The song I leave you to ponder was played full length at his service. 

Think it through “Just a spoonful of sugar” 

Happy thinking 

A Spoonful of Sugar - Mary Poppins 

Reach Out and Touch #caring #compassion #isolation

In the last few days we have witnessed the horror of a plane being shot down, completely destroyed, along with the lives of hundreds of great people.  To the families and friends of those lost, we hold up our prayers for you, and yours, in your time of mourning and for the beyond.Losing someone to wreckage is a very difficult time as you do not have the chance to walk with them through their journey.  You don't have time to plan beyond.  And if there was unrest between you, there is no time for a joint settlement and peace.
 

quotesvalley.com

How easy is it, to be here today and gone tomorrow?  None of us, can afford to leave the opportunity to reach out and touch the lives of others while they are still here. We must offer support and walk with them through their journey.  Not one of us is privy to the time when we will finally close our eyes. Once the window of opportunity has closed, there is no second chance, no second take. This is not a dress rehearsal. What we have, is what we've got!  It takes very little, to show someone care and compassion.  It is so easy to touch someone and show that you are there. It's easy to let others feel the warm breath of comfort.  However, once that chance has gone, there is no turning back the clock.   

Recently, I wrote a post on the blog about following someone, as they follow you, on social media.  I spoke of heads of churches, and aid organizations, having followers by the millions but, these people rarely follow back.  I have spoken of prevention and caring before so, I wrote to one of the agencies that offers help to people with emotional difficulties.  I asked why they don't follow people back.  The answer I received was, they don't have the facilities nor the manning capabilities to follow back.  A fair call I guess! But, I cannot understand why that question could be answered with such haste, while that same person could merely click the follow button on their screen for those people, who actually follow them. The number of emails I received in agreement with my question was amazing.  There were people from all walks of life and personal circumstances, most of whom never needed the services, but nonetheless agreed with what I had said.

This is where I say - that 'follow', that 'like', that 'touch' - may prevent someone from doing something from which they cannot turn back.  That 'follow', that 'like', that 'touch', allows people the thought that someone is there. It allows the people who may be contemplating something life changing, or God forbid, life threatening to realize that these organizations are made up of humans. Caring people, and not robots, who only care for numbers rather than people. People that they are espousing should care for their fellow man.

I said that there were people like myself, who would volunteer to press those 'follow' buttons, so that these people would feel that someone was there with them.  The second response to this comment was that it would be passed on to the appropriate leaders, and they would look into it.

My problem with most people who say, 'We will look into it' are quite often, only looking into a mirror at their own reflection. Obviously, never contemplating the needs of those around them and the benefits, that 'follow', that 'like', that 'touch' may bring.  Quite often these same people only care how much it may effect their work load or their lifestyle.  Yes, it is ok for these people, for when and if the time comes for one of their own, they have myriad's of helpers at their fingertips to help 'their' needy.  God help those, that may have only needed that breath of comfort of knowing, they were being 'followed'.

All I am asking that we who were born naked (not those that were born with that silver spoon) reach out and touch someone else's life, before it is indeed, too late.

Write in more and lets discuss this - maybe together we can encourage others to care more.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com 

Reach out and Touch Somebody - Diana Ross

Shaping a Future! #nurture #frailty #hope #resilience

When we are children we believe that adults are all-knowing, we think they are infallible. We trust them implicitly not knowing they too are simply human beings. It is this trust that makes us vulnerable to their weaknesses, whether their moulding of our minds is intentional or not. Being a parent is not an easy task but it is one of the most important and probably the one role in life for which we are least qualified. This is especially true today where families of one or two is the norm and children grow up isolated from extended families. In the old days just about every child carried a toddler on their hip as they played in the street and so their parenting and nurturing lessons began very early in life.

That is not to say the most nurturing of parents do not have their foibles and weaknesses. We all know fathers who work long hours and spend more time with their work colleagues than their families. There parents who have been to war and find solace in a bottle. Others trapped in very unhappy unions which have devastating consequences for all involved. It is the circumstances of our parents that make us the adult we become. Fear of stepping into the world of business as a result of a childhood of worrying if the bank would fore close on your parents financial interests, thus making you homeless. Having a house full of unfolded washing making you anal about each item of clothing having its place! Seeing your Mother parked in a corner at the rare social gathering you attended, while your father was the life and soul of the party! These may seem trivial now, but in the eyes of a child they become etched into your psyche making you the adult you are today.

Others have much bigger fish to fry! Their childhoods are one of abuse, sometimes in all forms - verbal, emotional, physical and sexual. Many (sadly not all) rise above this to become reasonably well adjusted adults. Though the scars are still there. Many times they are buried deep within, but they are definitely responsible for the adult we become. What gives these parents the right to inflict such misery on the little person in their lives. These parents actually do not have any rights. They have responsibilities in which, they are sadly lacking. But, they lost their rights as parents the minute the abuse began. The fact that these children battle through often in silence is testimony to the resilience of the human spirit. They grow into adults in spite of their parents. Some rise above their circumstances to live good lives, some are irreversibly broken, some take their own lives and others become abusers themselves.

As parents, their is no excuse for the bad treatment of our children. They did not ask to be conceived. They did not ask to be carried in the womb for nine months to be spat out into a life of hell. This life of hell has no class barriers. It is universal across all ares of society - just the rich have more means and resources at their disposal to make sure the claims of abuse never see the light of day.

The innocence of the child is such a thing of beauty that it deserves only to be nourished, to be encouraged, to be explored, to make them into the very best human being that they possibly can be. They need to be given, not only their wings, but the license to fly! They deserve to lead their life, their way. They are not creatures made in our image so we can live our own hopes and dreams through them. Why punish them because they choose a different path?

As adults we are made train for most other tasks we undertake. We are made get a license to drive a car, a qualification for our profession, permits to build houses and the list goes on. But one night of unbridled passion, one time of fumbled sex, one act of rape and a life can be conceived. A life that we as adults will shape without one ounce of experience. Considering that this is the case a lot of adults manage to become reasonable parents, some manage to be great parents and others fail miserably. Governments try their best to protect children, but the system still fails the vulnerable in many cases. A lot has been gained, but their are still many lessons to be learned.

Most importantly, we as family, as community and as a people need to recognize the need for love and nurture does not end with childhood. It is ongoing and lifelong. If we care for, nurture, and show true compassion to all men, especially the vulnerable amongst us, then we will see them heal. We will allow them to fly in the manner they were destined, when they took their first gasp as they were bundled into the world.

Look around you. Do not judge anyone until you have walked in their shoes. Take time to get to truly know your friends. Do not brush aside their vulnerabilities, care for them, nurture them! Believe me - it is one hundred percent worth it. It is definitely a 'pay it forward' situation. Everybody wins!

Cheers

Bitches Coz! 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Are Caregivers Harmful? #frailty #disability #relationships

Today, I ask you - have you ever asked for some advice how to do something, and suddenly found that the whole thing has been taken over, as if you are a complete moron.

For me it's like asking someone with greater knowledge than me, how to open an application on the computer with which I am having difficulty.  Yes, I know my way around the keyboard. (I have been doing it forever it seems.) Yes, I can touch type with my eyes closed.  All I am asking for, is to be shown how to do it.  Next thing,  I am off making a cup of tea for them - pouring myself a strong drink while they browse my server with such ease. And yes, they have opened the application and downloaded the data that I wanted. Then, before I have time to take in the knowledge that they have never let me learn hands on, I find, times up! They have drunk their tea, and exited the door before I get to know how to do it, for the next time.  They leave happy with themselves that they have helped this wretched feeble person with such an easy to do, task.  (This care giver, gave this help before his tea got cold and, my drink was barely to my mouth - all with two finger typing.) Now that, is caring!  

communities.acs.org

My question here is, 'How often do we take on the role of care giver to our parents, the elderly, the children, our partners, and the disabled without acknowledging their dignity, their prior skills, or their learning capacity.  I know I have been guilty. (Guess my computer carer, helped me to open the 'karma' app to my soul.)  We have all given our time to others but, have we really helped? Or, have we simply shown them, that they are totally inadequate, that they are the feeble moron of which I spoke earlier. Well, we have achieved what they wanted and exited, feeling proud of a job well done.

This is where we should think before we leap.  Is the person we are helping, asking for you to take over? Or, are they merely asking for a little help, a little of your experience, a little wisdom to make their job easier or some reassurance that they can do it?

How often are we asked by the aged to show them where they sign a form?  How many times are we asked to explain a question on a child's homework?  How many times does our partner ask us show them where the TV remote is?  How many times has a disabled person asked you to simplify their situation?  

I know what my answer is owing to having the patience of bull.  My parents will ask me where to sign the form. Next thing,I am filling the whole thing out.  My partner has asked where the remote is and, instead of saying behind the books on the coffee table, I have raced over, grabbed it, asked him what station he wants to watch and, changed the channel.  My partner, who is also deaf and Chinese will have asked me to simplify the English of a manual, that was originally written in Chinese, and subsequently translated to English. Then, there I am, operating the implement I never even wanted to use in the first place.  Am I the carer?  No, I have simply taken their dignity away from them.  I have tried to be time efficient.  All this caring, and trying to simplify their life, but I have not allowed them take control of their own lives.  

These people, I might add, have raised children, worked for a million years, have found their way in their quiet world in the streets of Penang and Hong Kong. They have learned to deal with life's journey and still had time to pat themselves on the back for a job well done. I have done nothing but exaggerate their shortcomings by my sense of caring.  

Put simply, I say to you, 'When someone asks for help, examine what they really need. Don't give them a sense of their frailty. Yes, do it all for them, if they give you permission to do so.  But, remember like me and the computer carer, they need to retain their dignity and their sense of achievement.  

Think first then offer.

kidsmatter.edu.au

Cheers

Bitchescoz 

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com